I went to work on a Saturday for overtime. The rehabilitation staff was taking about twenty patients out to the Yale football game. This was one month after 9/11. I didn't feel good about going. I was apprehensive, but I could use the extra money. I took my regular dose of insulin and actually ate more than usual for breakfast that day. There was no logical explanation for me to even have a low blood sugar. I was sitting in the back seat of the van when a patient alerted the driver that I passed out.
Date NDE Occurred: October 2001
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I had a spontaneous insulin surge that my endocrinologist explained. My body utilized the regular insulin all at once causing four seizures in a row.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard my coworker calling my name. I felt sensations of being pulled. I felt like I was being choked by the glucose being forced into my throat. I also felt at the time coming out of it very scared. I thought I was in a serious car accident and missed the accident. I heard a gentle voice say I was O.K. and I had a low blood sugar and I was in an ambulance.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It would appear as being ‘sharper’ more so. Though when I go into a deep meditation I can achieve almost the same clarity. When I receive premonitions it is very clear and pronounced and unpredictable.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was out of body I was the most organized and alert.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time was not apparent, it just was. There was no sequence to events.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience I was pure consciousness without any other pending, intruding thoughts, or feelings. During the experience, I was very present and aware. I would compare it to when I paint. I am so engrossed in the artwork that everything else becomes suspended.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear myself more so. When I felt my heart beat so fast that it was about to stop the heart beats were very loud and at that time I was out of my body. I felt it but I didn't feel it. I was not in pain. Only when I was fully in my body when recovering.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It felt like being connected to all. Kind of like what Jung talked about in a Universal Consciousness.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt much empathy, but also sadness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Whatever anyone else felt I too was part of it. There was no separation.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I was born into a Protestant family but learned that it's all foolishness that the "One" is universal and just speaks through different religions. I believe in them all and yet none of them at the same time.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am no longer looking for a ‘religion’ to find myself.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated As a child I remember a familiar presence that I was aware of and to this day I maintain this relationship. I have ventured into different religious beliefs the catholic liberal church, the Jewish religion, Buddhist so forth. It becomes apparent that the religious foreplay only clouds the direct route to getting in touch with the Spiritual world.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Well I have always known of a God, a presence but I was not aware of the Universe having a conscious. Its kind of like thoughts are things and around 911 there was all this sadness and it was in the heavens. It became part of the Universes consciousness.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I live on my own terms with God. I do not feel the need for a physical partner. I am content and do not have a need to go and search for anything. Only within I go and feel mostly complete. I am pleased with my life with my family of two standard poodles, two cats, two parrots and a crow that unbelievably landed on my head one night at 10p.m. That is another story.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I have known things that happened before I was born. I would know and identify relatives that I didn't know existed. At a young age I saw my Paternal Grandmother standing across the dinner table as I was sitting in the rear of the table. I was not frighte
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was united with everyone and all when out of body looking down
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There is no question that there is what we call a God. I have had not only in this experience but others of being connected to a presence, a knowing, a familiar place or state of being.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I always felt a ‘purpose.’ That day I was so much trying to get the paramedic to stop choking me and then I got so engaged with all the compassion I felt.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I'm not sure I kind of was always connected with a sense of purpose. It was what let me to be of service to others in my job. I was also a sickly child.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I know that our consciousness remains and unites with all
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain there is something much greater and more important than your 9-5 job. All day we talk at people and not with people. Sometimes when I hear some of the patients stories or am just near them I can feel their life and I have try and not cry. Sometimes I do cry. I remember the compassion I felt that day and still it comes about.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain My impression is that people are so unaware of the obvious, we manifest our hardships. We trip over one another and get in our own way. There are a few who see clearly and help guide the others. I do feel that the fireman that did save me was a special hu
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I am not entirely sure of the meaning of love. there are so many definitions. If compassion and empathy is love then yes, very much so. I wanted to embrace all that I was connected to and at the same time I felt such sadness. It really is a paradox.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I was always spiritual, but the more experiences and this one in particular I feel have influenced me. There is a difference.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Yes Hurt or injured or angry people are drawn to me. The patients at work are drawn to me. Even around some of the most dangerous not medicated patients, I am not in fear. As a result, they feel calm.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I could not get across the feeling or sensation of connectedness and empathy I experienced. People did not receive it as profound as I experienced it. They minimized it. I think they were scared. Especially if I died during work hours. It would mean a lot of paper work and the State of Connecticut would be under investigation most likely. I work in a state hospital.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Its just very clear to me. People and every day life is not that clear.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have experienced psychic awareness prior to and it is just more validated now. I pay more attention to it.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The spiritual world is within our everyday life. I know that the spiritual world is in contact with us. When I screamed that day to give me medicine, I know that initiated the fireman to push the paramedic aside and start the medicine drip right at the moment I screamed really loud. That might be when we have an intuitive thought is when the spiritual world is speaking loudly to us.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right away. They thought it was my seizures making me feel such empathy. I don't know if they were influenced, nor was I concerned about what they believed was true.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I've had seizures before and out of body experiences but not to this extent.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There is no question to it being real. It was more real than this earthly existence.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know it exists. It is how I navigate my life. I know I am O.K. I really don't worry about money, or health. Sometimes I do worry about stupid things, but that passes quickly. I really enjoy being able to be within myself and connected. I usually am able to experience the essence of spirit through creativity with painting or my music playing. I play the soprano sax and harmonica.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes The essence of creativity.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Not the experience but to further explain how the spiritual world speaks to us. When my mother was alive, I used to say to her, ‘Mom, how will I know that when you die you will be O.K.?’ And I would say ‘send me a feather from heaven.’ We both liked and kept birds. She would reply to me, ‘What do you think? I'm an old crow?’ Trixee, my current crow landed on my head at 10p.m. one night six months after my mother died. Trixee was a young baby crow at the time, not an old crow. I guess my mother made her point and she is doing just fine. So is Trixee.
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