When I was young I was brought up by my grandparents for several years. They were simple people, tending their garden and breeding a few animals. Until my adolescence, I suffered from repeated asthma attacks. The attacks were frequent and often difficult. My grandparents were heavy smokers and with the animals around, the surrounding atmosphere was not favorable for my many allergies. My grandmother was reluctant toward medication and preferred the old methods, like home remedies, rather than the doctor's prescriptions.
One night I became ill, with a bad asthma attack. I had big difficulties and couldn't breathe. I was sent to bed without any special care and I remember that my condition got worse and breathing became very labored. It sounded like I was hissing. Finally I fell asleep (I believe). Of what happened afterwards, I only kept two very precise memories.
The first one. I had an impression of a very vast area. I saw a light like a sun, but it was more a sensation of appeasement, rather than a light. There was no heat, only a sensation of well-being and calm. I was fine with no difficulty in breathing. I had a feeling of floating. There were silhouettes, presences facing me, but I couldn't see faces. I only saw vague silhouettes, like shadows. Their presence was surrounding me. They were strangers but with no hostility towards me. There was a voice talking to me. It said something like, 'It's too early, it's not now. It's not your time.'
I woke up drenched in sweat and the same for the bed sheets. I was completely healed. I had no problems breathing. I usually needed medications and inhalators to come out of my attacks. But not this time. I got up and my second precise memory is that I felt a sensation that is very difficult to explain. It was like an absolute plenitude, a calm or serenity that I never felt again in all my life. It is really a sensation which is difficult to describe, it was like being very light, as if nothing negative could reach me, having no fear of the next day.
I know that I was young and over time, I often asked myself if I wasn't dreaming, or being delirious because of fever or an agitated sleep. My grandparents were believers but not practicing. Nobody ever talked about the supernatural, of paradise, nor even about beliefs at home. We didn't watch fantastic movies. My grandparents only watched TV for the news, variety shows and football. In short, nothing could have influenced me or suggesting things that would then appear in a dream. Therefore I'm convinced that I experienced something which is really not common. On the other hand, I have no memory of being out of body, nor traveling through a tunnel or anything like I read from other's NDEs.
I never talked to anybody about this experience at all, except to my partner who has my full trust. She believes me. I knew that many would have thought about distorted memories, or a wrongly interpreted dream.
Date NDE Occurred: 1980
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Illness. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. I was as conscious as in my normal state. No more no less.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Only when I was surrounded by the silhouettes and when I was talked to. All the rest is vague.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning.
Difficult to express, but time didn't seem to count during the experience.
Were your senses More vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Difficult to say, as it was long ago. I don't remember significant differences.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same as with my vision.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an Unearthly light? Uncertain A light resembling a sun. Brightness, but nothing painful for the eyes.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. Again, I saw no precise landscape. No meadows, hills, gardens or other. It's more a sensation of vast areas, like a great, immense space of sky.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was serene, calm.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised in a Catholic belief, but not practicing.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain. I have no religious belief as I don't recognize myself in any religion. Nevertheless I think that there is something else other than our earthly lives, but without any idea about what it is.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I saw imprecise silhouettes. I don't remember any faces, but do remember outlines of persons. No memories of auras or wings, nor anything like that. It is difficult to know if they were people or something else.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists. Yes. I didn't receive any precise information, but the fact that I was told (who?) that it is too early, that it's not the time, suggests that there is something waiting for me afterwards.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Difficult to put words on the sensations and memories of sensations. Plenitude and serenity are what comes closest.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. The memory of the feeling of plenitude, when I was waking up, stays profoundly anchored, while I experienced more dramatic events during this period and even later on, and they are not as precise.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I sometimes have the impression that an intuition gives me the right choice to do something, even though I'm not always following this information. Sometimes a 'feeling' is going through with some persons, or not.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Almost 35 years before I was talking about. My partner listened to me and believed me. I'm not used to tell nonsense to make myself important. I don't know if what I told her has influenced her in any way.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was not possible for me to believe that I was dreaming, the sensation was too precise. And my healing that I can't explain.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real. I'm still convinced that I experienced what I'm describing. However, for the sake of credibility I can't deny that it is possible that I'm wrong, even if I'm about 99% sure.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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