When I was younger, my parents were both working full-time jobs. My father was stationed at Fort Bliss and my mother worked various defense or education-related jobs. Thus, I was placed into a summer youth program. I was one of the younger, if not the youngest child, in the program. One summer day, they took us to a public pool. Most of the kids, being older and more experienced with swimming, were at the deeper end of the pool leaving me alone. I remember wanting to join them and went under the floating barrier to swim towards them. I remember not being able to feel the bottom of the pool with my feet and slipping under the water. I felt fear. I remember reaching towards the light of the sun, shining through the water and then suddenly being above the water.
I could see myself under the water and I remember feeling no attachment to the body. I floated higher and higher above the scene and could see a great part of the city below me. I still had a human form while floating up, it was like a 'ghost body'. I remember looking up into the sky and then being somewhere else. This place was like being in space except with no stars. Wherever this somewhere was, I had no human form. I was like a small ball of yellow light. Though in darkness, I knew I could see in all directions at once. Around me appeared other orbs of light. The orbs were other people who had passed away. We all glowed with different shades of light. Some were more pink, some were blue and I was yellow. I remember that all of our thoughts flowed into and out of each other simultaneously. Despite this, I could still process my own thoughts. I knew that the lady near me was in her 30s, that she had died in a car accident leaving behind children but she was at peace with the fact that her husband would care for them.
I remember a great light appearing before us, like the sun but smoother and cleaner in its light. It did not hurt to look at and regardless we did not have physical eyes. There was the greatest feeling emanating from it. It was the greatest form of love I have ever felt. Greatly beyond that of any parent, lover or child. It was like every expression of love combined. I remember being drawn towards it, moving faster and faster but on the other side and moving at the speed we were. There was no real wind, just the softest of breezes. I remember knowing where I was at the time but we do not have a word for it here in the life side. I remembering feeling at home, like I had returned and I was happy. There was a sound like music, but not music like what we have here on Earth. It was like the sound between the ringing of chimes.
Some force moved through my soul and stopped me from proceeding forward. There were no words, but this kind of knowing that came into me. It said I needed to turn around. I remember saying that I did not want to turn around and that I was tired of having to go back so many times and ready to stay here. It said that I had not accomplished what I needed to do. Before I knew it, I was tumbling through darkness and was suddenly back over the city and drifting back towards my body. I was out of the water. I remember several of the other kids out of the water; some crying and the female lifeguard was working on getting me back. I remember having my ghost body back and the feeling of hands pushing me on my back, back down into my body. The re-connection was painful. I remembering feeling confined in my body.
For years after this I was depressed and wanted to go back to that place. My childhood was not the smoothest as far as my family life was concerned and I knew if I took my own life I could go back there.
The biggest thing I learned from the experience is that 'God' experiences itself through its creation. That is, we are all expressions of 'God' simultaneously. I have felt in life a deep and instant connection with certain people, especially one of my friends who I also love deeply and who is currently missing. We both have talked about perhaps having met in a past life and joked about how we would meet in future lives. Though I hope my friend is found, I am confident that either way, our paths shall cross again.
Date NDE Occurred: Summer 1995
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Drowning. CPR given. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The other kids swimming and splashing as I left my body, the wind, cars and the sounds of the city.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal There was an instant transfer of information and knowledge without the need for language, which is limiting and inadequate.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I would say when I felt connected to the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It all seemed to happen so quickly.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Things were not as clear. Not as grand, in scope.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not process as much sound or conversations among people as quickly.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did not know the others only that they, too, had just died.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was an orb of light, as were the others that appeared after me. The light that appeared before us was so massive and so very much brighter. We were like drops to the ocean of that light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was some other dimension: Like space.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Initially fear, then peace and then love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I just knew I was part of something greater and it felt familiar.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No No, I knew I had lived before but not the specifics. I knew I did not want to come back to Earth.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Not so much scenes as knowing that the world would be going through a really hard time, a big war was coming and that many people would need help. After the experience, I had a number of dreams concerning events that would pass or people I would meet.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had no real religious background when I was that young so I had nothing to compare my experience to.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was a child when this happened and it happened when I was so young that it just shaped my views of things down to the current time.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I knew I had lived before because I remember thinking I did not want to come back again but I have no specifics. I do remember having dreams after this experience where I was a woman in Eastern Europe during the war and that I was hiding with my baby. Soldier were coming and I was in an abandoned cottage. The baby would not stop crying and I killed it. Soldiers broke into the house speaking Russian and I knew Russian was not my language but I could understand it. The called me a 'bitch' and said I was crazy and killed my baby. I remember trying to run past them crying into the woods and being shot in the back. I have a birthmark in the area where I felt the shot in the dream. I had this very same dream for several years after my NDE.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The great light that sent out waves of love.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There is something that is in us and yet separate from us that loves and and that waits for us when we pass.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know I am here for a reason but I cannot remember what that reason was. It was imparted to me, but when I crossed back and tried to remember, it was gone.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Just that we must learn on Earth. For everyone what we must learn is different because we are all expressions of 'God' experiencing the full spectrum of life and when we die we return to 'God' and become one.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes That we live multiple times and we are supposed to learn something from Earth.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes That the world would be entering into a period of great war and that many people would be lost, but that as horrible as this would be - those people who live through it and are born after it would be a better group of people. I was given no indication when these events would transpire.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That love is universal and and all encompassing and that is can be the hardest thing to give or receive on Earth.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Even with all I have described above there was so much more. We humans just do not have the vocabulary to express it.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A dream of a past life, dreams of the future and knowing things about people. Some of these abilities have faded since my adolescence.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some people believe me, and others think it was something related to losing oxygen during drowning.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No