I was going through a really rough relationship since I had fallen in love and found out she was addicted to heroin. I tried to get her off the drugs but got hooked myself. I was very wealthy and looked up to in the community. Over about a year, all my vehicles, assets, and savings were gone. My girl just up and left me. By now all my friends and everything I had worked for including my identity were gone. I happened to be giving myself very large doses of heroin, main lining as much as I could get as fast as I could get it. I had already overdosed multiple times within the last month and a half. I figured I'd try to get off the drugs and get my girl back. I hadn't used in three and a half weeks.
I use to have an immortal God-like complex. I had some 'friends' come over with some gun powder heroin. I bought 4 points, .4 which I knew .1 would kill any regular person. My friends were making a fuss about me doing all of my heroin, so I made a deal said I'd do only .2. I did and got the most amazing rush, so nobody was looking when I did the other .2 within a minute of the first hit. The last conscious vision I had was my face heading towards the floor.
At first it was as if I was dreaming. I was very happy and in a relaxed state of mind, somewhat euphoric. It was like I was floating through dark matter, like a fog but not quite like that. I started experiencing a higher sense of awareness, like waking up from a dream but more like coming out of a stupor or blank stare. I was lying on a table made of stone that was light gray in color. But I'm not feeling my body. I only notice my body as I look around; by looking around I mean that it was definitely much wider and broad type of vision than normal. Before I looked around and saw the tables, I was so calm and at peace. I was relaxed, like all my worries, problems and everything was amazingly great. I was like nirvana or an enlightened state of mind. That quickly changed.
Then I'm in a small valley at its lowest point. There's a lot of tables laid out in an organized pattern. Some of the tables are empty and others not. The tables are laid out in all directions up to the horizons or points of vision and further I believe. There were people lying on these tables; some had the bottom of their legs cut off, hands, arms, some had more limbs gone then others. I remember the faces of the closest "people" with their skin of a medium gray-blue shade. Their eyes were really white and just empty colors. Where their limbs were cut, it wasn't dripping or fresh blood. It was burgundy in color like it'd been a while. The people were squirming around crying out in pain and agony. I couldn't hear them even though I was close enough. Their facial expressions, along with everything else, made me very aware. This is where my vision ends or possibly my mind blocked me out.
I hardly remember coming to and feeling cold. I came to find out that nobody could get me to wake from up from my overdose, so all but one person took off because they didn't want to be held accountable. They just left me there dead, weren't going to do anything. It blew my that person's mind when I just snapped to. He swore I was dead, dead, like gone.
I went to the spare room and locked myself in it, eventually fell asleep. I didn't talk much for a couple days and tried not to think about it ever. I started experiencing extreme lucid night terrors and sleep paralysis, that terrorized me up until 5 or 6 months ago. This experience is hard to fathom and even harder to accept. I try to understand and be at peace with the whole sleep paralysis and night terrors considering the fact I'm sure they were dark entities or demons trying to pull something out of my chest. I was waking up into reality two or three times a night. Finally when I was actually waking up, I couldn't breath or speak. I try to sit up fast and it was as if something were pulling me back into my bed. And I don't scare easily. Waking up from the night terrors, I thought I was having a heart attack.
Date NDE Occurred: 3/15/11
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
Overdosed on heroin
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I had no self-awareness, meaning my body couldn't see, hear, feel or touch.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It was complete clarity of the mind and peaceful, like all the voices and static, random meaningless thoughts just were gone.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I noticed I was on the stone table and then up until the point right before I woke.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Faster and slower in different stages.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was as if I was in a movie or the universe was revolving around me. I say movie because it was so vivid and clear, it's as if I was in a movie and have watched it over and over.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I couldn't hear anything, not like I lost my hearing, I couldn't hear the people's moans but I sense I could hear the atmosphere and the scenery. As if I could hear it by feeling it, like all my senses was one.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't think so, I felt as if I was floating through a black shroud or matter.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes No relationship, I don't know if they were alive or dead considering what plane I was in, but I'd say they were alive to dying.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I think it was purgatory.
The experience included: Hellish imagery
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, peace, clarity, relaxation, and then I was in a 'like ok, what?' Then I was confused, scared, worried, and felt badly.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others A higher understanding for spiritual connectivity, I use to fight a lot and be aggressive, I'm not anymore.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I'm not sure, I think, I was sent back.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Growing up I went to a Catholic school and church. Then for a short period of time I studied the marmon religion. At the time I was not religious at all, pretty against religion
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Believe in God
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Catholic and Buddhist
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I thought when u died just darkness and nothingness, I was wrong
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in creator, heaven, hell, demons, angels, and afterlife.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I saw, what I think were people being tortured or paying for their sins.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I can feel a connection with every living thing, and I respect care and have love for them all, which I didn't before
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Must be a higher being why else would there be stages after life
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Yes, but only know that I'm destined for greatness and I changed my path and energy, the way it affects the earth.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I was dead and it wasn't nothingness and blank space
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Have a changed perception on the subject try to accomplish as much as possible because anything is obtainable
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm trying to make relationships more meaningful, everything, every second and event/ moment.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes My experience seemed not long at all, but the details and the awareness I had was just out of this world, as if it is photos burned into my mind.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It's pressed into my memmory
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I feel a heightened awareness.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain Slightly, not in depth, only small pieces
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain When I was born I wasn't supposed to live said the doctors, when I was 3 and a half I got ran over by a suburban, wasn't supposed to live, I use to believe I was immortal, untouchable, my views have changed.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I had a hard time accepting it, since it changed all my views and beliefs.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was definitely a real experience.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No