I was in a very weak state later described by the medical staff in layman's terms of a 'walking coma'. Except for this event, I have little recall of a four to five month time period. I was watching TV and the room/world went silent and dark with my eyes wide open. Time ceased. No pain at all or sense of environment.
Except for my mind's eye, all senses were gone. It was very black and not the least bit frightening, a very calm transition. I knew what was happening and it was fine. I honestly wanted to see where this journey led me. If one can imagine oneself in the absolute void of space this was it. Then I saw the twinkling of lights. I sensed from deep within something like 'Are you sure?' With that conscious thought, I decided I wanted to live and the battle was on. Death did not wish to let me go and that's when the experience devolved. I can only describe the experience as what someone might have on a bad acid trip.
The next moment, a team of doctors and nurses back here attended to me. I had not moved.
I wrote the experience off as a bad dream or a nightmare. After speaking with the psychologist at the hospital several things were pointed out to me including the fact I dream in black and white and this event was in Technicolor. I now have absolutely no fear of death only the pain associated with it.
Date NDE Occurred: Oct 2009
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a complete collapse of my digestive system due to a string of inter-related events nudged by an e-coli infection - shutting down of pancreas, kidneys, liver resulting in ammonia poisoning.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? There was no time. According to the doctors, it was very brief. If I understand the question, my alter-consciousness would have been the time when I saw the lights.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was none. I could not tell you (if I hadn't been told) how long the experience lasted.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't have vision. Much clearer than a dream but without the benefit of our five senses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Not as others have described. It was a blackness at first then star-like objects. Very cool and something I wish could be captured and shared.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm No dimensions at all.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm. Never worried. It was a day/night experience in the sense that all was well until I fought it.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I had zero sense that I even used to have a body or past events. I did not see others or myself. I had no sense of a God or evil so I now question those postulations.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Extraordinary and I never connected the NDE with that until I read it here.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic school (1-6) A lot of questions after this event
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I seriously question if there is a God.
What is your religion now? Moderate Absolutely unsure in the religious aspect of death
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I seriously question if there is a God.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I haven't thought of it that way. The fact I did not feel pain or memories, no life flashing before my eyes, probably has a lot to do with that.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Simply stated, the human mind has no concept or words to accurately describe what I experienced.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I did not expect this question and I'm now stunned. There is NO question that something about my mind has changed. No question. I can now focus more than I've ever been able. I've kept a lot of all this to myself for reasons that might make sense to you - when you tell people this you get one of two responses; It was a dream/nightmare or what's death like? I don't want to ruin expectations nor argue my experience. I need to think about this question some more.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Only one - I've been to the other side and it's going to be neat the next time around.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A day or so after the event with the doctors. Only two other people. See the question above.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience is burned into my brain. It will never be forgotten and quite possibly remembered the next time. I think about it constantly. I want to go back (the mind I had during the experience) but am thinking my mind (here) will react the same way the next time. Only time will tell.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Above answer should cover both.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? For a year this has been bugging me. I started to write to exercise my mind back from the illness and hoped to someday be able to share with others what this was like. It's impossible.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Nothing I haven't mentioned. Thanks for letting me 'vent'.