Experience Description

First Experience, 1973:

I started convulsing during labor. Not knowing, ever having seen, or been told, what childbirth was, or would be, like, I had no idea that convulsions were not a part of it. I was raised in a family with a cold, calculating, cheating mother, who looked at her children as being an inconvenience to her having 'fun,' so I also knew I would have little to no child-rearing skills.

The convulsions tightened every part of my body and I felt like I was bouncing off the gurney, until I convulsed out of my body, and was looking down at my body as it continued to convulse. I floated up to the ceiling, while looking at the body below. Both the doctor and the nurse were checking it (me). I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.

With several others, the woman and I walked into the deep woods to collect dried wood to keep the fires going. I laid the child down on the top of the woodpile I had collected and only turned my back to pick up a few sticks that had fallen, when a wolf jumped behind me and grabbed my child. The horror I felt goes without saying, but with a stick in my hand, I leaped to grab the child before even a thought went through my mind. The wolf looked deep into my eyes and dropped the child, but grabbed my arm, biting deep. This female wolf's spirit became my own, as I woke up in a room in the hospital.

I now realize I was given the spirit energy to have the strength to raise my child - knowledge that was not given to me in this life from anywhere else.


Second Experience, 1992:

This was an ectopic pregnancy, and I went through surgery. While under, I apparently bled severely, so they iced me. Again, I was in the marble room, but the Reaper wasn't there, only clouds. The child I was losing was there, and said for me not to worry, as she would be back before the end of the year.

I woke up and carried on. After returning home, I expressed to my mother-in-law that the child I lost was going to be born soon - and within two weeks, my sister-in-law was 'late.' When she came to term, I recognized her new baby as the child I had seen.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'Sept 23. 1973, Feb 2nd, 1992'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It all seemed entirely real. The sensations of touch, the sights, sounds, and smells of those experiences felt as real as what am feeling now as I sit here - except in those experiences, time seems to change.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Parts seemed solid, others transparent.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Too many to list.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No But they are certainly broader.

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No But they are certainly broader.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The experiences were meaningful enough, but somewhere in the experiences additional memories came through.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes But, again, I come from a totally dysfunctional family. Telling others who are preoccupied with their own issues becomes pointless.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real From the start, I saw the experiences as 'definitely real.' The first time, I was a kid, and had no way to explain it in my mind. The people I told dismissed it, except for my grandmother. I told her I had seen her in my many lives. Later, during her death, she called me by other names, so at that time she remembered, too.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still see these experiences as 'definitely real.'

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Life is eternal and here's why I think this (hope I can get this right since I'm still formulating the words): My sister died in 1972 when I was seventeen and she was sixteen. It was sudden. She and her boyfriend hit a bridge and it was over. Since then I have searched for info as to where she is. 'Where does the electricity go when the lights turn off?' was the question I used to ask. After years, the answers started coming and I started having insightful experiences myself. In the early 1990s, one of the SBIR research requests asked for suggestions on how to research Dark Matter. You don't have to be anyone special to get SBIR requests, just put your name on a list of 'interested'. My response to them was, 'The only way to study the smallest particle is to watch for it when it moves in unison. We have that in The Shroud of Turin.' Just as in making radioactive material - it takes a small amount mixed in with material to entice a larger amount into being radioactive, so did the Shroud show a uniform motion of dark matter, though it took years to become evident. The Shroud's detail of anatomy is amazing and SOMETHING moved through the cloth to make that impression but we can also see the same energy when doing photosensitive impressions of leaves. The impression of a whole leaf can still be made if the leaf is torn, though the impression must be taken quickly. Dark Matter is like all matter and energy - it cannot be destroyed. It is different as a soul though in that it is self-directing. The amount of Dark Matter that moved through the Shroud, if collected, is smaller than the smallest pinpoint, yet it is the force that changes matter into life by manipulating matter and energy. Looking at this by degrees of complexity, life is more complex than matter, more complex systems take longer to develop, so it has taken longer to develop that complexity. Life is more complex than atoms, so it is more likely formed first on the fundamental level as dark matter, the basic building blocks of all matter, energy. Atoms make elements, Elements make Planets, Plants make solar systems, Solar systems make Galaxies and Galaxies make up the universe. But none could exist without dark matter. Complexity would be the most advanced on the level of dark matter and dark matter complexity is life. Dark Matter controls all the atoms, all the elements, all the planets, solar systems, galaxies and universe. It makes life as it moves in unison changing matter and redirecting energy to do it. Dark Matter is life. This means Life MAKES the universe - not the other way around. Whether a single celled amoeba or complex life form is changing its environment, on every level, life changes matter and energy.