Around 9 pm, my mother was called to the hospital and was advised they were going to perform a bronchoscopy on me. One doctor said since I had a dental filling a month earlier, possibly something had lodged inside my lung and they wanted to scope the lung. I was rolled into the operating room and I vividly recall the staff being really kind to me, saying they were doing everything to make me feel better. Innocently, I asked them what they have planned. I recall the laughter in the room. Then they told me to count backwards from 10.
The next memory I had was in space, there was a large marble platform suspended in space, with an oval mahogany-style table in the middle of the platform with chairs around it. Beyond the table were marble pillars on the outer edge of the circular marble platform. The marble columns were spaced far apart. In the chairs were nine people. I don't recall what they looked like or how they were dressed, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I stood at the end of the table, in front of a Captain's chair, mentally listening to them. I felt comfortable with them and the space was filled with caring and love. It all seemed so natural.
They were discussing my life and my accomplishments. They knew all the details of my life, as if my life was condensed to symbols or special signs. I vividly recall not sitting down to join them, because in my mind, I wanted to return. Attention was upon me, and I mentally told them I wanted to return to raise my four-year-old son who wasn't allowed to visit me in the hospital. I was mentally told that was my choice. I mentally expressed my desire to continue my life with my son. I knew my decision was supported. They knew I would return because I did not sit down in the chair. If I had sat in the chair, I would have been joining them. This felt so agreeable.
The next morning after the bronchoscopy, upon awakening, I recall a vision: my deceased grandmother appeared to me as a young beautiful woman. I only saw her face, neck and her black curly hair. Mentally with love, she told me, I would be okay and I would continue my life. This cameo vision felt like an affirmation. I was elated and knew I'd be getting well. I would be staying.
Date NDE Occurred: April 15, 1969
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Other: Left upper lob pneumonia, white count 22,700 with 78% PMNs, 15% lymphs, 4 stabs, 2 minors. Pulse 140, BP 100/54, respirations 48, 104 degree temp. decreased breathe sounds.
While hospitalized, I was unresponsive to antibiotics and I was considered slow progress. Around 10:30 pm on April 15, 1969, the doctors decided to do a bronchoscopy due to slow progress and an atelectatic area on chest x-ray. They thought possibly it was foreign matter and none was found, even though drainage was obtained. Discharge summary quote: 'It was noted that the patient's condition improved markedly for the remainder of her hospital stay.' Also included in the notes was, 'serum creatinine had been reduced to 1.1 mg and her uric acid was unusually low at 1.9 mg%. Advised to see a renal specialist.'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The space was bright blue, the columns were Corinthian and Doric, the feeling of goodness was all around me. I felt a connection with those at the table. However, it felt very normal. I was very alert seeing the cameo of my deceased grandmother who I dearly loved. I vividly remember this incident after 45 years has passed from the blueness of the spatial sky, the white marble platform the mahogany table, the surrounding people in the chairs looking at me. What I don't recall is what they looked like. I knew these people who were discussing my life. Also, I recall every detail of my grandmother's face; she is part Cherokee Indian, and her black curly hair, high cheek bones, and black inquisitive eyes I can see in my mind's image as I type this submission.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the NDE I was very alert on the platform, mentally listening to the nine energies or people reviewing my life. However, I wasn't alert enough to describe those at the table.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There wasn't any time awareness. The communication could have lasted a second or an hour. Time wasn't there.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. At the age of 25, divorced with a four year young son, I was preoccupied with working and caring for my son. I was grateful for my life and I was basically a loving, curious, happy person. I did not have earlier vision or NDE experiences until I was hospitalized. These two events had my attention.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There wasn't any hearing in the experience. All events were mental.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No This question becomes significant to an occurrence 44 years later.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Upon awakening after bronchoscopy, I had a vision of my deceased grandmother who communicated my future well-being.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The visual view of white columns upon white marble and blue space. Not sky: a clear airy blue space that continued on forever. Everything had an airy light, except for the table.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The platform in space was an unearthly realm.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Acceptance, support, respect, and mutual love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood the communication about my life and everything was agreeable.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will My communication was fulfilled.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated Mother raised me as a Catholic. Attended catechism, attended mass until age of 13. I married in church, son was baptized Catholic. However, as a child I questioned the religious teachings.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm far more open and curious about life. Many concerns and fears have been resolved.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age Prior to my NDE, around 1966, a friend gave me an Edgar Cayce's book to read.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Learned later the discussion of my life was a life review, I didn't know about NDE's at the age of 25, it wasn't even coined as NDE back then. I didn't realize that I had the power to direct my own life.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My focus in life changed. I focused on NEW AGE philosophy and was working on my masters at the California Institute of Asian Studies (later to become California Institute of Integral Studies.) I couldn't read enough. Also, my son was raised by a village of family and friends during my education and career advancement.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin After the NDE, I saw my grandmother that mentally communicated to me.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes My existence was always. My meeting with others mentally discussing my life seemed so normal. there wasn't any unexpected surprise.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain At the time of NDE, I did not encounter any specific information, however I always knew there was a connection and unity.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain There was a level of knowing in my experience. It was my life review up to the moment I communicated that I wanted to return to my life.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes My knowledge and understanding seemed so normal.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes My choice was honored. My purpose was to continue living and raise my son.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I understood that it was my choice to stay or return.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Last year, I uncovered an event that happened during my NDE that I wasn't aware of in April 15, 1969
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It was there.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. This event changed my focus and direction. I finished college, worked towards my Master's Degree, until financial difficulty. I furthered my career, cared about life and living on this planet. I became part of the new age movement. I became a voracious reader on all topics from A to Z. Delved into the paranormal and I, as having OOBE's, I was concerned about them until I read Robert Monroe's, 'Journeys Out of the Body', which was a turning point in my life. The world exploded for in-depth experience in life and beyond.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I'm more patient, compassionate and deeply care for myself and for my fellow beings, which I live with on this planet earth.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The emotional attachment for those at the table is subdued. I often wonder if the feelings had been overwhelming, I may not have returned. I'm very emotional; however in my NDE I was calm and secure.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience This NDE experience is permanently etched in my memory. I can see the two separate events, life review and vision of my grandmother as I type.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I believe I always had psychic or non-ordinary experiences prior to the NDE. As a teen-ager, I lived in the back woods of Lake Tahoe, and I walked about a mile from the school bus drop off to my home. There was a short cut I took, and when I walked by the same spot, someone kept tapping me on the shoulder. I wasn't frightened, I would turn around to see if someone was there and asked why I was being tapped on the shoulder. Years later I found out my younger brother had the same experience.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? A year ago, during a difficult family relationship, a friend advised me to see a hypnotist. My friend knew I followed Mich'l Newton's work 'Journeys of the Soul, Life Between Lives' and suggested my concern could be from a past-life interaction. This friend told me that Michael Newton had trained this hypnotist and she had a chapter in one of his books. I followed-up and prepared for my first hypnosis session. I saw CS for two sessions; I shared my relationship concern and my NDE. The first session was a past life in the South Africa desert as a tribal leader. I was able to be hypnotized rather easily.
The second session was when I would visit another lifetime and then goes over to the spirit world to find my soul group and the purpose of my difficult relationship with a female relative. The hypnosis session went to the early 1920's during World War 1, in a small hilly town near a large lake. I entered this session via a tunnel and there was a little girl waiting for me. She was about ten or eleven with black patent shoes. Mollie was full of life and couldn't wait to see me. I knew that Mollie was me. I learned that her black patent shoes were a gift from a neighbor who had lost his daughter. Mollie took me up the hill to her small cabin where she lived with her Mom and an older male relative who walked with a limp. I also learned that most of the men had gone to war. Mollie and her mother washed clothes on a wash board for a living. CS took me to a further time: Mollie was in the same town working in a boarding house with other women who did laundry. A farmer who had his laundry done at the boarding house offered Mollie a job of helping him take care of his three kids, His wife had left him the kids. I lived on the farm with him as a housemaid and nanny. The farm wasn't that far from town. I passed on sitting in a rocker on the front porch at the farmhouse.
During the hypnosis session, CS asked me to go over to the other side from this Mollie's death. She went through the process for my transition (which I had done before in session one). This time after the process to go over to the other side, which is lengthy, she asked me where I was. I told her 'I was consciously awake lying on the bed.' She asked 'you didn't go over to the other side?' I said 'no, I'm right here'.
CS knew what happened, I didn't for a moment, when she led me back into the hypnotic state and asked me to go over to the other side, and it took a lengthy time because I had to move a black wall that was a challenge. When I finally got through the black wall, I was on a precipice out in space that over looked galaxies. This experience was very lengthy going through space, getting through planets. Then I met with two very close spirit guides that led me to the Council of Nine, who are seekers of peace in the Universe. They arrived as energy beams on a marble platform and they formed a circle around me. They passed on messages to me: from the current state to future events. When the session was over, CS and I discussed what happened when Mollie passed over. Mollie never went to the spirit side. She merged with my being during my NDE and bronchoscopy during my hospitalization. Her energy merged with mine.
CS understood what was happening to me, who explained the events in my life, as well as discovering my purposeful life. This is an outline, after this session, I sent away for my medical records from 1969 and I researched every detail from my hypnotic sessions that I had gleaned about my previous lives that exist simultaneously. I understand that all beings exist in multiple-life form/times but experience (perceives) them as linear (past or future) when all the experiences are expanding consciousness.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes First of all, after what happened to me in the hospital, I shared my vision of my grandmother, with my mom, that I would be okay. I did not share the life review. A friend advised me to see a hypnotist. However, the original purpose to delve into the relationship issue was left untouched and resolved on its own. I told a dear friend, which has passed on, who listened intently. I shared it with another friend who was concerned about my difficulty with a family relative that she had met and understood my concern. Recently I shared my experience with a respected colleague that is studying consciousness. Years ago, I sent an e-mail to P.M.H. Atwater, after hearing her on a talk show. She wrote back thanking me for sharing. However, that was before I had learned about Mollie's life from the 1900s. I have yet to read her book. Only recently, I've been focusing and reading about NDEs. I have CDs on the two sessions.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I accepted my experience as part of my life and am grateful to continue.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I took my experience afterwards, and I began healing: the pain in my chest and over my whole body that had gone through high fevers, sweats, and more. When I arrived home from the hospital I weighed 83 pounds for my five foot three height.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I shared my past life session with a hypnotist from a previous question.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Life in this vast universe is far more complex than one can imagine.