Experience Description

The experience I had was not the first such experience and I will relate more at the end.

On April 2, 2006, I had an accident with my 1961 Fordson Major tractor on a remote gravel road. I was crushed underneath the tractor, with the fender pushing my head into the gravel road. I thought my head was going to split as it pushed the skin from my cheek right through my teeth.

My son had been riding on the front of the tractor and thankfully was thrown clear. He was screaming Daddy, Daddy, and I thought I was going to die so I told him to run for help. As it turned out, he saved my life.

I broke twelve ribs in twenty-eight places, badly punctured both my lungs in three places, crushed my internal organs, broke both my shoulder blades, collar bones, crushed my right wrist flat, drove a one inch bolt through my thumb, crushed my fingers into a mirror and badly bruised the rest of myself. I broke all of my teeth biting down on them in the accident but I kept telling myself not to panic and controlled my breathing.

When the tractor was lifted off me, I stood up as I was in too much pain to lie down. This likely saved my life as my lungs had filled up with blood and I was breathing on less than ten percent capacity. I spent five hours in Nakusp Emergency and then thirteen hours in Emergency down in Trail while they rebuilt my carpal tunnel and hand.

I was too badly screwed up to be put on life support, but somehow stayed alive. The first week I spent sucking all the blood out of my lungs and the second week I got up walking and walked out of the hospital thirteen days later on Good Friday.

I don't do pharmaceuticals. My wife is an Iridologist and Herbal Practitioner, so I had the benefit of many alternative healing techniques. The most important for me was learning self-hypnosis, energy channeling and Jude's Panacea Paste.

I was told that I would never use my right hand again as it had absolutely zero response when they tested the nerves after the accident. They even suggested it was not worth it to fix my collarbone since the shoulder blade was also broken and it was unlikely I could use my hand for anything. I did not accept that, now my fingers can move, and I can play the banjo.

All of my life I wanted to play a musical instrument, so I got myself a banjo and determined how to play it after I got disabled and couldn't do much but lie there. I started out taping picks to my fingers with my hand flopping uselessly. I taught my children music at the same time as I learned. Since I am a systems analyst, I had to reduce the musical system to a calculator in order to understand it and show my kids how notes joined together to make chords, etc.

I believe what saved my life lying under the tractor was leaving my body. I slowed my breathing on purpose and even held my breath when I could to purposely slow my heart rate as I could barely breathe with the blood running into my mouth. I felt a calm as I relaxed as much as I could with a four-ton tractor squeezing my head into the road. Suddenly I was standing there looking at myself. I was totally calm as it was a long familiar experience that I welcomed.

I walked around looking at the accident and saw everything spread all over. About half an hour passed and a friend of mine showed up on the road. I knew who it was before he got to the tractor and was shouting at him to get my jack from the other side of the trailer and jack the tractor off me. He jacked the jack two notches and it started to bend the jack. He had to stop as he told me if it slipped, it would kill me. As luck would have it, my son showed up two minutes later with a neighbor and his tractor to lift my tractor off me.

I spent months drifting in and out of incredible waves of pain and had many out of body experiences during this time. It was not the first such time this happened to me. It seems to me that trying to find calm in the middle of extreme pain is what pushes you out of your body. Though, I have managed to meditate and channel my energy to pull my body somewhat straight and symmetrical again. I have recovered most of the feeling in my hands although I had zero nerve response and was told I would never be able to use them again, I have not been able to consciously meditate myself to a point where I can purposely initiate an out of body experience. Having these experiences leaves me with an intuition that I should be able to do so - and the possibility that you may know someone that could give me some information, is what motivates me to contact you.

As I said, this was not the first time I had such an experience. I grew up in less than fortunate circumstances in which my mother and stepfather hated me for the actions of my father. It found expression in daily beatings (not spankings; whippings and fists) until I ran from home at age twelve and spent a few years on the street and then got sent to a group home under the protection of the Children Act at age fourteen. It was a miserable place where a few close friends committed suicide and the social worker was eventually convicted of seventy-four counts of child molesting. It was a place of constant emotional and physical attack.

After six months in the place, Christmas came along and the group home parents asked the kids to call their parents about going home for Christmas. I called my mother and asked her if I could come home for Christmas since I hadn't seen my brother or sisters for a few years. She said No, she just wanted a nice quiet Christmas with her family.

Everybody took off for Christmas and the group home parents locked me upstairs and hired a babysitter to cook for a few days while everyone left. I spent Christmas Eve looking out the window at big fluffy flakes floating down and trying not to cry. I hurt so bad I could hardly breathe and finally I started burning cigarettes up my arm to try to distract myself from how badly I felt but I could not feel them. Finally, I turned around, went, and lay down on my bed.

Suddenly I was standing by the window looking down at myself. I felt perfectly calm, relaxed, and warm. I lay there looking at myself and was so happy that I could breathe again. I was suddenly outside and looking down at the house and then up looking over the city. I watched for quite a while and then I suddenly had a fear and I was instantly in my body again looking at my ceiling and wondering what had happened. I had the exact same experience during and after my accident but have not had it happen since my pain has become bearable.

I have also seen other beings when I have moved out of my body and around some people I sometimes either appear to be hearing what they are thinking or experiencing some kind of weird déjà vu. Have you ever heard of such a thing and if so, I would like to learn more about it.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 'April 2, 2006'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I was crushed under a tractor.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was out of my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was out of my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning No sense of time in the 'dream state' but appreciable amounts of time go by in what appears to be the blink of an eye.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I seemed to change my viewpoint instantaneously and without effort. I simply moved in the direction I looked or thought.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I need glasses to see close up and glasses to see at a distance. My hearing is not the best either. It was like a big screen theater in comparison.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Not during the accident or when I was a kid. While recovering I got off into the bush with my dogs. (Mostly I guess so no one could see me cry or how gimped up I was.) All I could do was walk as my upper body felt like I was wearing a pain coat with all my ribs broken and both shoulders broken off on the inside. I still don't sleep through the night as my whole rib cage, shoulders move, muscles bind me up, and I wake up in pain but not like that anymore. The strangest thing that ever happened to me was out at the waterfall on my mining claim. I was walking through the bush as hard as I could trying not to think about my shoulders and exhaustion took hold of me. My heart was crushed and my lungs punctured so I try to exercise them but my heart just seems to give out some times. I pitched onto my face and actually saw my body hit the ground. My dog lay down beside it. I saw grayed out forms moving toward me and my and energy from my dog (looked like a huge white wolf) moved towards them and they backed away, though I did not sense harm from them. They kind of came into a light color and then disappeared. I also saw two black void shapes that did scare the living shit out of me. Why I have no idea. Not black, but empty void kind of things. On two other occasions when I had to sit down exhausted, I thought I saw the 'ghosts' of native people looking at me. I am not a native.

The experience included: Void

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm i just read the next question... i was on earth but I saw things I dont normally see.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm and curiosity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I don't know what the hell déjà vu really is but I keep having these experiences that come out of nowhere and have a weird feeling that accompanies them and all of a sudden I know things that people are going to do and say. Sometimes I blurt out something thinking I have already said it, at others I just freeze or try to do something different if I see a situation going where I don't want it to.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes No more belief in religions.

What is your religion now? Liberal none

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes No more belief in religions.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I keep looking for people that have had out of body experiences meditating but all I have met so far have admitted to altered states brought on by drugs. I don't do pharmaceuticals though I sometimes smoke pot for pain so I know what I have experienced, if it is not real, does have some sort of physiological explanation.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes As I said, sometimes hearing people's thoughts or the weird déjà vu thing. I haven't had an out of body experience for over a year. I do a lot of meditation to channel my energy and control my pain and sometimes feel on the verge of being able to just get up and walk out.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. I am convinced this out of body experience can be induced with meditation.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only my wife. I built a pentagon pyramid, which is a harmonic resonance chamber and we have been trying to reach each other's' minds. I appreciate her efforts to accommodate my peregrination of mind but somehow feel we are not on quite the same wavelength. I meet people at times with very bright eyes that I seem to sense very strong thoughts coming from.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have always been interested in what happened to me as a kid and as a consequence spent many years meditating. I went on an airplane ride a few years after I got out of the group home and there was the city EXACTLY as I saw it from above that Christmas Eve. Actually I was always interested in repeating the out of body experience since it felt like a Christmas gift when I was so miserable and I knew what I saw was real from the airplane ride. It wasn't until I had the tractor accident and the out of body experience that I started thinking about near death experiences and if they were the same thing - and now you know why I am on your page.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I have also had lucid dreams and they were nothing like the out of body experience. As real as they seemed, they were I always knew when I was dreaming. I was not sleeping when I had out of body experiences.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Only too much pain seemed to bring about the experience.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? If you have anyone there that has any knowledge of what I am talking about, I would appreciate receiving their information as well.