It took place in my flat in London, UK on late February of 2001. After an exhausting day at work, I decided it was time for some release, went home with my friend and his girlfriend and a lot of drugs. I went to the bathroom where I shot a lethal injection of cocaine and morphine. It was an instant death. Although I didn't realized at first. I thought I was kind of sleeping.
So I tried to stand up and I literally came out of my physical body! The sound of that music I cannot possibly describe with words because it simply cannot be heard with that clarity in this world! It was breath taking! It was so beautiful. I was ready to explode from joy! I could see both worlds at first. Although the physical one resembled a black and white movie in comparison with the world in front of me! The colors were out of this world; so deep, so luminous, so beautiful! There was a door in front of me and I could hear joyous laughter coming from inside the door coming from too many people! I had this uncontrollable desire to step inside the door and meet all those souls!
My perception increased on levels I didn't think existed on a conscious level, although always knew them on a deeper level, locked inside of me! HOME! That was HOME! That's the word that rang in my ears so loud and so clear! I'm outside time I thought. Time doesn't exist! I was ready to cross the threshold when I heard footsteps coming from inside the door. My hearing was so acute; I could sense every little detail.
This man comes from the door. I don't think I can find the right words to describe him here. His eyes was like an endless sea of love; too bright to look at his eyes I thought. However, I started to get used to it! I know him, I thought! I KNOW HIM! I've been knowing him for a thousand years! A thousand years is nothing here, too short! No, I've been knowing him for ten thousand years! Hmm, ten thousand means nothing here, time doesn't exist! He smiled at me while having those thoughts, nothing is hidden here, and everything is revealed. He knew exactly what I was thinking with immense clarity and I love him, I love him so much, so much love. I couldn't take it anymore, I thought I would explode like a balloon. He was gazing at me with this infinite love, infinite compassion and infinite peace. I clearly sensed that everything I've ever done in this life was recorded and he knew every little detail. He knows me, he loves me beyond description, and he knows I am trying to remember who he is, because I forgot, as if I am waking up from a deep dream trying to adjust to reality.
That's what it felt like, waking up from a dream, waking up to who I truly am and this life was nothing but a dream! In that glorious moment, I had one desire and one desire alone, to come back to this life and have this experience of rebirth while in a physical body. So he touched me on the forehead, smiling that compassionate smile, a smile of unlimited love deeper than any ocean you can think of, knowing we'll meet again and probably - again, sending me back to my physical body, I just left for about five minutes of our earthly time. I found my friend resuscitating me. I was back! I am back, knowing we all live forever, joined together by this great LIFE that orchestrates all physical life to the tune of LOVE! The tune of spiritual evolution that everybody takes a part; everything that we are meant to experience we do - eventually! God bless!
Date NDE Occurred: February 2001
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . I accidentally overdosed on drugs. My physical body was dead for about five minutes.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can't really - okay, I was aware of everything around me with so much clarity, every detail, I could see the perfection in every sound, the LIFE behind everything, the intensity and the beauty in every color, feeling immeasurable love and acceptance of everything!
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The time I got used to looking at his eyes, I was filled with LOVE beyond description!
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It's the perception that changed in my case. Totally different perception than the one while in this life. So clear and so secure, alert and conscious of every detail around me!
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? The colors was so vivid, so luminous, so clear, with so much detail, totally focused on everything around me, perceived thoroughly, gradually - and that's the paradox, all at once!
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? The sound of that music was like nothing I've ever heard before in this world! I could distinguish every detail in that piece of music and with incredible depth! I could perceive every slight motion fully, with immense calm and patience and at the same time with full emotion, especially childlike joy!
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Like I said above, I met this being filled with love, joy, patience, compassion who knew my thoughts and knew everything I've ever done in this life and beyond! He also knew and remembered who I am!
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Joy, love, a sense of immense freedom, relief in a way, the relief of knowing who I am!
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm the one i described above,the one i knew as HOME!
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, love, a sense of immense freedom, relief in a way, the relief of knowing who I am!
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'i was a seeker, believed in god, being one with everything. I had no religious attachments though.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Although I always somehow knew that this world was never my home, and life is never-ending, I was always searching for my purpose in this life, believe it or not, because of certain religious beliefs used to cast doubt in my mind, momentarily anyways!
What is your religion now? Liberal 'born again Christian/charismatics/very liberal, all ways is the way,all faiths valid, all comes down to the experience of God in us'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Although I always somehow knew that this world was never my home, and life is never-ending, I was always searching for my purpose in this life, believe it or not, because of certain religious beliefs used to cast doubt in my mind, momentarily anyways!
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Started to remember who I really am, and my purpose in this particular lifetime! The knowledge that no one really dies, death is an illusion!
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I know that everything and everyone is a gift to everyone else, and all the people and events in my life are drawn to me like a magnet in order to experience who I am and allow others to experience who they choose to be! So, I started to see the possibility for me to change through relationships and at the same time help others to remember who they are!
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Although it can be communicated with words, I don't think I can fully transmit my experience with words cause it's simply outside of the five senses.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I became very sensitive to spiritual matters, I have a discerning nature.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the fact I felt as if I was waking up from a dream, the fact that I knew that being so well, felt so much love for him, love I thought it didn't exist prior to the experience!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first time it was a few minutes after I came back, I told what happened to my two friends who were with me! One thought I lost the plot, his girlfriend believed me, I couldn't see it in her eyes, although overwhelmed and maybe in awe because of my dead body preceding that! I didn't widely shared my experience for about two years because I sensed not many people would understand or be ready for it! But the two people I shared it with, had an impact, one of them had a few other worldly experiences himself! I joined a spiritual community about three years ago and I shared it with quite a few people and to my surprise they received it gracefully, definitely had an impact on them, however I feel that most of them filtered it through the eyes of their religious attachments or belief system.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I viewed it as ultimately THE reality in comparison with the physical world, which is more like a dream, a construct to know who we truly are through experience and exercising our free choice! I was feeling it very strong right after it, lost the fear of death completely, days, weeks, months! I feel it's very vivid and very much alive five years on! More alive than anything I'll ever do in this world!
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Feels the same as before, so real and so true!
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I had a few visions, one I couldn't possibly describe. It's totally out-of-this-world, showed me the journey of my soul to completion, although it's not even a journey cause it's already done, always IS but not experienced right here and right now, had also dreams and visions to guide me and in one case a major transformation through a dream of a known religious leader.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I said it all.