The following is what I wrote down in the week following the experience:
In April of 2014, I went in for surgery to remove my gallbladder. It had failed over time and was no longer working, giving me a lot of problems. A couple of years prior, I had an inguinal hernia repair with the same surgeon and drug doc, without issue. The type of surgery was laparoscopic, which was a new type of procedure for me as prior surgery had been open.
I was brought into the operating room and got onto the table. I talked with the nurses and then I was put under. It was basically about the same as my last surgery.
Unknown time passed, and I came to in an instant with a rapid motion. It felt like I went adjacent to where I had been. Almost like a hole was torn in existence and I shot through it. There was complete blackness behind, below and to the left and right of me.
Directly in front of me, about 12 feet or so, was a very brightly lit 'being' standing in some sort of vague entry way. I could see a bright light blue sky like area above and in the distance behind the being. In my estimation, the being was approximately 8 to 9 feet in height and approximately 6 feet in width. It consisted of a very bright white light outward from a cigar-shaped center, with the edges of it fading to a bright cobalt blue. No matter what angle I viewed the being, I could not make out a face or many features of it. The light was extremely bright and fluid in nature. The being did have a definite substantial mass.
The connection I had to the being was extreme. It knew me to my core and had known me forever. The being felt like my brother and best friend wrapped into one, times 10,000. The being was extremely humble and loving. Although the loving feeling was different from anything I have experienced in earthly life, it's the best word I can come up with to describe it.
The best way to describe the speed at which information flowed that I can come up with is at the speed of thought, yet my speed of thought and cognitive abilities became extreme, and nothing like on earth. Maybe it was tenfold in capabilities. I immediately 'knew' a whole lot of information. For every thought, the answer was immediate. I could feel a connection to what felt like billions of individual entities, however, they were on the other side of the being.
I knew I was dead. Human emotions did not exist. There was no fear or ego or desire, there is only the 'love' type feeling, good will and humor.
I communicated with the being in what can best be described as telepathy, but with greater speed. The being identified himself as The Archangel Mich'l and he was seriously awesome! He is not at all human, being a completely different being than us or anything on Earth. My limited human vocabulary cannot adequately describe him. Mich'l told me 'I can use you, you can work with me.' I did not really understand this. Mich'l said he is a servant of god and has a number of duties. There is zero ego to Mich'l and his caring is deep. Apparently, I could help him with one or more of his duties. I wondered about God and he told me that God is all around us, in us, and everything. God Is. This communication is all telepathic at this point but his use of 'God Is' was clearly demonstrative in nature. He will take me to be presented to him.
Quick aside here, this really confused me when I later returned. How could God be everywhere and yet I be 'presented to him'? This took some working out for me even though the answer was clear when I was there. Despite being raised Catholic, I am not a very good one. The best way I can describe it is that God consists of three parts yet one part. Confusing, I know. What I felt of God all around me, and the connection to Mich'l, is what would be termed in a number of religions as the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God, it is that 'love' feeling I was referring to, a powerful energy and connective force. I would be presented to the Father. The father is distinct from the spirit, but also God. There is the son, who is not the father or the spirit, but is also God. God is literally three parts, yet one and everywhere. Confusing, yes, but it made complete sense where I was at.
Back to Mich'l. I felt extremely humbled and unworthy to be in his presence or where I was at. I asked why I was here. Mich'l told me I was there because I was a 'Righteous Man.' This term seemed to denote a category, or at least that was my impression, more than he was specifically describing me a certain way. This term has confused me since my return because it can be taken a couple of different ways on earth. I have been studying it the past couple of weeks. I am not complete in my study, but did find that the term together is actually in the bible verbatim, which I admit I have never read and am woefully ignorant of. That is changing as I have found some explanations in there for what I experienced.
The other big thing I got from the non-verbal exchange with Mich'l is that conducting oneself in an 'ethical' and 'honorable' manner is extremely important to God. Extremely. I cannot stress this enough. There are many things we may consider sin here that are of less importance there. There are things such as these and passing judgment towards others that are a much bigger deal than at least I had come to think before this experience. Those are two words though he specifically clarified. These are things I had done well and were examples of the reason I was there. I attach no ego to this; only pass it on for those who may have interest. There is no ego in heaven; it does not exist. Take of this what you will. In terms of the varied emotions on Earth, they are not present in that place. There was no sorrow, no anger, no regret, no greed, no anxiety, etc. I don't mean that I didn't experience them there; I mean that they literally do not exist and experiencing them was not possible.
I have clarified the non-verbal communication because it is identical to verbal communication in the sense that there is no confusion over what is said, but also because I had a verbal discourse with Mich'l.
Mich'l verbally asked me a question. He had a male, very clear voice and spoke in my native tongue, American English. I feel this was for my benefit only, as in, he could communicate in any language in existence. His voice came from the central cigar shaped area of his being of light, about 6 feet off from the ground. Mich'l said to me, 'You may come with me now if you like?' I took this as a question with an optional response.
I immediately, and extremely strongly, had the sensation and could see two balls of light near my left breast, or at least where it would be if I could see it, of the souls of my wife and infant daughter. I felt an overwhelming feeling of absolute responsibility for their protection. It was resoundingly powerful. I'm not sure if this will be edited out, but I believe in telling this as accurately as possible. I said to Mich'l, not in anger (doesn't exist there) but with extreme passion, 'There's no fu#$ing way.' Mich'l laughed at my response. It was a loving laugh with a feeling of appreciation and complete understanding. I felt, (never could see details of a face) that he had completely expected a response along those lines, and liked me even more for it, if that was possible. He replied to me, still laughing, 'Ok.'
The next instant, I awoke with a nurse in front of me. I asked her what went wrong. She appeared surprised by my question and told me that my heart had stopped. They believe I had a rare response to the CO2 that is pumped into the body cavity to give the surgeon room to work. I asked if they got it started again with shock or drugs. She responded 'drugs.'
There are a couple of things to round out the experience. I am still digesting a lot of it. The entire time I was there felt like approximately 30-45 seconds in earth time. The information flow is so extreme that I am going to need some time to work through it all. From estimates in my medical records, I was only down for a very short time, less than a minute. I did not experience rising out of my body, I went immediately to the entrance and Mich'l. There was no tunnel or light, yet when I was there; it is possible there was a tunnel behind me. It was just so black; I could not discern anything behind me. I did not experience any type of life review. For me it seemed like a review was complete and is always ongoing.
I also was not met by any dead relatives, although I did feel them in a general sense beyond Mich'l. All those thoughts were pre-conceived notions I had prior to this experience. I only add this because it still seems strange to me how different it was compared to what I had expected from church and whatnot. Up until this experience, I had an 'I have no clue what happens when you die, maybe nothing' kind of thought process. It was essentially an open question for me. I believed in god, because the existence of god was logical to me. I just didn't think anyone or any religion had a clue what happens. For obvious reasons I am forever changed.
One final thing, I wanted to discuss my thought process immediately after the experience. Initially, even though I knew otherwise, I looked for any scientific reason for the experience to the point of asking my surgeon for advice. He didn't have any, and I am unable to come up with an adequate scientific explanation. Next, I thought of a dream, but it was much clearer. I was literally awake. I then went over hallucination. I have never had one, so it seemed perhaps viable. The biggest problem here is that the experience went way outside of any pre-conceived notion I have ever had, and again, it was just too clear. I was clinically dead, which also makes this one a stretch. Probably the most interesting aspect of the experience is how clear it was. My memory of it is as clear as any waking memory I have of my life here on earth. I have zero explanation for that other than to say, it simply happened exactly as I remember it.
I provide this narrative of my experience with the hope that if may help people who read it and the hope that it may be useful to future research into this area.
Date NDE Occurred: April 3, 2014
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was clinically dead. No heartbeat and cessation of breathing due to surgical complications. It is believed that I had a very rare, but known, reaction to the gas, CO2, which is used to inflate the body cavity to perform lap surgery.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No I literally was blacked out by anesthesia, came to full consciousness elsewhere, and immediately returned to my body while maintaining continued consciousness. My consciousness was clearly separate of my human body, and I also think there may be a way to actually measure it scientifically.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The entire experience was no different than normal awakened consciousness and alertness in everyday life. My intellectual capacity was extreme, much greater than on Earth, but awareness was the same. It wasn't heightened in and of itself.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No In the sense of time, there seemed to be no difference, however, time seems of little importance there. I seemed to be able to take in much more cognitively than normal in the time frame. Overall, I felt like 30-45 seconds took place in earth time, even though I was able to absorb weeks' worth of information.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision seemed to be about the same. What I was seeing was much different. I could not actual see any type of body I was in.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No different than it is right this instant or at any other time.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Very bright light. White and a cobalt-like blue were the two colors I could discern.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was very obviously not earthly. The place had little to no similarities to earth, at least from the view I was exposed to.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Not many. Most human emotions did not exist for me there. I felt the strong energy that seemed to permeate everything that I would equate to 'love,' but I only make that equation because it is the closest thing I can describe in human experience. It is, still, unique from the human emotion of love. The other emotion I felt would be better described as passion for my family and a strong feeling of responsibility.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe This isn't exactly accurate. I did not understand 'everything' about the universe, other than the understanding that the universe in its entirety is God and all connected. There is a connection and harmony with existence, however there is not absolute knowledge. It is far too complicated even for what seemed to me to be my highly enhanced capability mind.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I could not see a physical structure, but I had the sensation of an entrance or pass through the being was at.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will There was a very clear asking of me regarding what I wanted to do by the being. He asked me in verbal form. I answered in verbal form. It was a choice that clearly was mine alone to make.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Raised Roman Catholic, go on Easter and Christmas, not overly knowledgeable about the bible however I also have a deep personal belief system.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic I feel more connected at church, however, I don't go very often. I have a much greater understanding of Jesus and the bible than prior to this experience. What is and is not important.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The experience itself was inconsistent with anything I had learned prior to it happening and how I would have expected such a thing to go. On the other side of that, some of the things I learned there were consistent with what I would have expected, as in living ethically. This is difficult again to put into understandable words.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes The experience resulted in a realignment of what is important in conducting life.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The being was very tall and large in proportion. Clearly not human in any way shape or form, but extremely connected to me.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I am uncertain on this, in retrospect, I almost feel that Mich'l and Jesus may be one in the same. I have nothing to base this on other than "feeling" once returned.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The oneness is God, it is all one in the same. God is all around us and in us on this Earthly plane as well.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God does exist. I was personally in his/its presence while fully conscious. God Is. It is of no consequence if one believes or not. God simply Is.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I am uncertain on this question. I was not given specific information to answer this question, however, answers were available. It is too difficult, at least I am incapable at this time of answering this question in a manner understandable to anyone who h
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Yes, there is clear "life" after human earthly death. I experienced it first hand while fully conscious. As to the full parameters of what that existence is like, I cannot say.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I did not see what is commonly referred to as hell but learned while there such a place does in fact exist and is of an un-comprehensible negative nature. You will in fact go there if you do not live your life within acceptable guidelines. Claiming repentance and being repentant are two different things. You cannot hide anything from God. There is no escape from transgressions. There is no going to confession and all is ok. Only God judges so I have not idea exactly how it works, only that a person should want to be with God, not against.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes God does not impact your life like you are a pawn or take direct control over existence here. It does not work that way. We are imperfect beings learning. Again, this gets difficult to describe in human language. The choices you make here are of importanc
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Slight changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Yes and no. It is easy to talk about and discuss, however, my capacity to describe some parts is lacking as I have no Earthly comparisons to make them discernible to an audience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It is consistent with my normal memory of big events in my life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I put 'Uncertain' because I would not consider it 'special' so much as I consider it a consequence of the experience. I am now able to recognize a pattern in existence as well as a structure that was not clear prior to the experience. In essence, it opened my eyes to the true reality of existence. Again, it is difficult to put into words.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The knowledge of continued existence is of profound significance to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told the nurse standing in front of me when I returned to my body what happened. So, immediately would best describe the time it took. I do not know if I have had an influence on anyone. All I can do is share what happened, it is up to them to use the information as they so choose.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard the very basic construct of floating over your body, tunnel, seeing light, seeing dead relatives, etc. My experience did not follow that at all.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real If the experience was not definitely real, then I would have to question all existence as I know it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Again, it was no different than being conscious at any other time in my existence.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No