I was transferred from a private birthing room to the emergency room after the staff noticed that my baby might require her stomach and lungs to be cleaned because she might have meconium aspiration syndrome. I was worried about my baby at that point, hoping she would be all right. I felt weak and I remember looking out the big window, which seemed opaque. The colors in the room began to slowly fade to black and white. I had never seen the world in black and white before and I felt like it was surreal. I had a flashback as though I was watching a war movie and I saw a soldier getting wounded and dying and a bright light came and wiped out the whole image. Then I realized that it was I dying now. I guess I had a flashback of my previous life and I thought it was strange that I had been a man and a soldier. I have always had a great fear of war and death. The black and white images reversed and the light became dark and the dark became bright and then the powerful bright light got stronger and stronger. I felt the bright light pass through my body and it was the most powerful unconditional love.
I was in so much fear in the beginning and I felt really sad that I might not be able to ever get to see my baby. I hadn't even seen her face yet. Then all of my fears vanished and the memories of my life on Earth were dissolved and I was calm and peaceful and I felt no need to go back to my life on Earth. I liked being where I was. I felt like I was loved and at home just being there. Then I sensed I had been given some medication and I watched the bright light fade, the images reversed to their original black and white and then I saw the color in the room gradually fade up again. I was back.
Date NDE Occurred: 'May 19,1988'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Other: I am not sure if my breathing or heart stopped but my blood pressure dropped and I passed out
I was in labor and giving birth to my eldest daughter. I had an episiotomy and I may have lost quite a bit of blood during the birth because my blood pressure dropped
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Yes I felt like the light came toward me. I did not feel like my body traveled anywhere. I felt like I was in the room the whole time but awake.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I seemed to be aware that I was dying because I was familiar with seeing the bright light from a previous life. I recognized the process as one I had been through before. It seemed that I already knew God or what I call God the Creator.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I saw the light getting brighter, I associated the bright light with being in the presence of God and after the unconditional love of the light passed through my body. I definitely knew that I was with God. He could hear my thoughts about being sad that I wouldn't get to see my daughter or be there to take care of her and that is why I thought He was sending me back.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time is only a reality on Earth because we have the sun rise and set and days are measured in 24 hour increments. Out in space or in Heaven, there is no sense of time, as we know it on Earth.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision at first was like an observer. It is kind of like watching a movie on a screen. It felt like I was sitting like a person would be sitting in a theater watching events but being removed from them. Then at some point when the light got brighter, my feelings seemed to become amplified. Then I felt like I was directly a participant in the movie I was watching. I guess it is kind of difficult to explain that part of it.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The last thing I heard on Earth was that my blood pressure had dropped. I did not hear anything that I recall during my near death experience. It was all visual.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light reminded me of the sun except there seemed to be no sensation of heat or cold. The sun generates heat and this light was similar to the bright light of the sun but my pupils did not seem to have to dilate.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It seemed like I was there but maybe floating. I seemed to be waiting and the light was diffuse. I could hear my thoughts in my head and I knew that God was listening to my concerns. I felt calm that He was hearing my concerns about my baby but then my memory of my life and everything I knew about Earth was wiped away and forgotten.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt fear and anxiety. It was almost on the level of terror especially since I seemed to be right in the middle of a war. Then the bright light came and wiped out the war images and that was a relief. The bright light coming towards me and then passing through me was a strong feeling of unconditional love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I did not understand why my thoughts would manifest afterwards. Everything I would think of would appear and it concerned me so I made a promise to myself that I would keep positive thoughts and images because I learned that our thoughts are powerful either negative or positive.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future Yes in a way. One day I was driving down the freeway on a clear sunny morning and I thought that it would be nice to see a rainbow. At 5 PM that day, I came back to the same spot where I had been thinking of the rainbow and there it was in the sky. It was a coincidence but I knew without a doubt that God heard me and was showing me that He was still there.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain It seemed like I wasn't there for a long time
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will My motivation for returning to Earth in the beginning of my light experience was the overwhelming love and need to be with my baby. I forgot all about coming back to Earth and I am not sure if I was sent back or if it was the medicine that brought me back. I believe the medication was instrumental in my coming back. I am not sure if it was because of my conscious decision.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I was raised Atheist and told that God does not exist and when we die we go six feet under and that is the end of our lives. I had never attended Church or studied religion. I felt very close to nature and I loved Biology and Science. But being close to nature made me wonder about God's existence from the age of 5.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I studied Jehovah's witnesses, Mormon religion, Hinduism, Islamic religion, etc. and I was on a journey of finding truth. I think I am trying to learn as much as I can. I go to where I feel the Holy Spirit of God pouring out of the pastors. I need to hear their message to me to guide me.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian After my near death experience I studied with Jehovah's Witnesses for 2 years. I became familiar with the Muslim religion, Mormonism and Buddism but not in depth. I felt a strong need to try to find out everything I could about God. I went to some Christian churches but at one Church, I walked in and I felt that I had found the energy of God there and I started my bible study classes. Next I started studying spiritual awakening because I was experiencing unusual events that were unexplainable in March of 2009. Now I go to another Church where I strongly feel the same presence I felt during my near death experience and it fills me with the love energy and speaks to me about exactly what is going on in my life. Unexplainable to me but I believe it is called Synchronicity. I feel like I know truths in everything about humanity and God from the beginning of man's creation until now.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I heard about God from others but I was raised not to believe in God because He wasn't real so I struggled to be a good child and not believe in God. I just felt God's presence around me in nature and when I studied Biology and Science and logic then I changed my ideology to think that nothing is created out of nothingness and love seemed to be so important.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered a powerful energy. I have never heard his voice but I see things visually.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I have always seemed to understand things from the past and I feel like I may have some residual memory from the past passed down through my DNA. It is the same condition seen as the instinct in animals for behavior which seems to be known instinctively a
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I believe in the oneness that I share with other spiritual people. I feel the God energy radiating out of them and we have a common understanding of the positive love energy of God. It overtakes my body physically in the form of goose bumps or chills when
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Yes I believe the powerful love energy exists and is in all of us or rather we can be filled with that energy from the source. He is a pure form of love. Plants and animals can sense the positive energy and I can sense it. It is what makes the planet survive. I am afraid that people do not understand this and they follow human gods. I can tell the difference between a human god and the real God because I was there. I have seen the past from the beginning of man to the present time. Life is very simple. There is love and hate. The way to recognize God is by love. I believe that near death experiences should be listened to and learned from because I believe it holds the truths to our existence. We can learn a great deal from one another. I am glad to share my experiences because I feel a great overwhelming need to share spirituality with everyone. I love God deeply and I want to honor and defend Him. I get upset when people blame Him for things. They don't realize that the negative energy felt by themselves and others is a cause and effect. God put the world into motion but we control ourselves. He is always there for love but we are here to learn. When we love ourselves deeply like He does then we will understand that He lives in us. This world is a beautiful place. I love the Earth as a gift to us from God. I hope we don't destroy it and each other with hate energy.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understand how we were created and all the dynamics of the Earth from the beginning of mankind. If I were to relay this knowledge to people then they may not believe it but in my research of which I have a gift, I have found many proofs to support what I have seen. I wish I could share this information with everyone because it could have impact on those who care. Our past is so important to know and especially to know the truth. The past repeats itself and I know the past so well and I am afraid that if everyone doesn't know about the truth of our past, then we will suffer the same fate. God may have orchestrated the near death or spiritual awakenings in people to try to protect the Earth when the negative energy gets too strong. I believe God has angels here on Earth so the planet doesn't get totally destroyed. An angel is by definition a messenger. I feel like I am a messenger but people have to want to hear the message. I try to find a way to present it. It is kind of complicated to write about all of the history but one day I want to try.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I learn about life because I recognize truth. When someone studies counterfeit money then they first study the real true money and then they know if a fake bill is presented. Being with God the Creator has made me realize that He is not human and we are h
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Yes I definitely believe that there is life after death and reincarnation. I believe that we are here to learn about spirituality. I am not sure why we lose this memory at birth. It must be for us to learn lessons and it is critical for our survival on Ea
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I feel like my experience with God has never ended. I thought that my near death experience was a one time encounter with God and I became a confirmed believer instantly I had no doubt of His existence anymore. I was a skeptic but a seeker. I always need proof for me to believe strongly in something and I got my proof. It felt like a big burden was lifted from me. I have been sent continuous messages of His presence so He has never just stayed in Heaven or is separate from me. He merged into me permanently and I am able to see His presence by symbolic things like rainbows, music, people, and numbers.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes My life seemed to change so much. I had so much negative energy around me in my life and I recognized it and fear had always held me back to change my circumstances but I learned that I needed to surround myself with positive energy and positive people an
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Powerful unconditional love and it is a feeling of just knowing what it is. I felt like I was a sinner and I was amazed that He would show me love like that despite my mistakes in life that may have hurt others or myself. I listen to a Christian person an
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I think the angels or God or our loved ones reach out to us when we are in a bad situation especially from my experience. They can go through the computer, radio, or show us numbers, rainbows, etc. to get our attention. I used to think it was coincidence but the coincidences turned into synchronicity and then into serendipity.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes One day I hope to find true committed love with someone because I have never had that. Lust destroys my heart and my health and I feel it is hate. I am content to be single but I would like to increase the love energy of the planet in a positive way.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience When I was having my near death experience I cannot account for the time on Earth. I was aware of a few things but most of what happened was hard for me to accept but I understand it now. I did not float above the room or see my body or anything like that. For me it was like a vision and then becoming part of the vision. I can see some things that will happen in the future but I cannot say when or how it will happen. Only that something bad will happen. I see things through images and then I get a feeling associated with the images. I feel like I have no control to stop some things from happening. I try to put the negative thoughts or images out of my mind. I try to focus on positive thoughts and feelings. We are only human though.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it in my women's bible study class and they had a negative reaction. They told me that I need to study the bible and only recite what is written in the bible. They called the woman in charge of the whole program over and said that I wasn't hearing the messages correctly and they all prayed over me that I would see God in the bible. One woman brought up Satan and said spirituality is dangerous and associated it with Satan. I told them that I didn't believe in Satan and one woman stood up, screamed, and pointed at me yelling that she would never give up her belief in Satan. My daughter had a book about a satanic cult, I read it, I was shocked, and I thought the things they did were crazy and hateful. I threw the book in the garbage. I was disappointed because my experience with God was so amazing to me. I have been sad that no one wants to hear about my story.
I say I had a near death experience, I saw the bright light of God, and they look at me for a second and then continue talking about how they really want to find a relationship with God. It made me sad and especially since, I feel the spirit of God in that church. I decided that I was in danger of being kicked out of a church for being spiritual so I decided to go to church one last time and never come back. I felt like they thought I was evil or something bad. But I was shocked when the pastor of the church told the congregation to try to keep an open mind when someone talks about God even though it may not be in the bible, it may be a message that they need to hear. I was shocked because I always hear God's message to me every time and I never bring Kleenex but I always cry. I kept going to Church and they never ask me questions or really care at all about me but I say a few things from time to time. The pastors are spiritual there and that is amazing. When I first started going there, the church was not that big but I sing my heart out with the music and now the church has grown in number so much and I still sing but everyone else started singing too. I like Christian music and positive messages.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt that I was a seeker of God and that was my validation. We all are different but once we see the truth then we understand life and love and the importance it has on everything.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have had so many validations and that gives me comfort to know God is here with me. I think He wants me to spread the word of Heaven and Him to others for some reason.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I feel like a physical change happens to me when I go to Church and I feel like I am filled up with His love again. It feels like I get recharged. When I listen to music about God I feel recharged and I can radiate it out.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I just wonder if there are people like me who have had continued messages from God after their experience and if so what kind of communication methods have they experienced. But I think your questions are very thorough. I am just trying to see if someone else is having the same experiences as me with seeing things that are unusual.