The year I turned twenty-five, I gave birth to my daughter on December 30, 1969. The following week, I completely hemorrhaged out and had a near-death experience. This phrase was not even in existence at the time of my experience. Raymond Moody would write the first book on the subject ‘Life after Death’ in 1975 and coin the term, 'Near Death Experience.'I stayed silent about my experience for more than a decade. Back then, the majority of us who have had these experiences stayed quiet about it. We were afraid of labels like ‘insanity’ and ‘devil possession’ from the outside world. When I began to talk about the experience, I realized that we mere humans didn't really have the vocabulary to describe it. How do you bring a language back from another plane of existence where words don’t exist to describe it here on earth? When I left my physical body, I and hovered above it watching the doctors frantically work to cut open collapsed veins and fill them with plasma. I didn’t see through my physical eyes. I observed a woman die across the hallway and saw her non-material soul sail upwards and out of sight. I was able to hear everything without physical ears. The medical team was talking about how ‘gone I was.’ I heard my husband’s conversation with his best friend down the hallway. I heard his true, unspoken thoughts and fears within his mind. I had an absolute 'knowing' without a physical brain to reason with. I would say it was blissfully peaceful and serene but those are emotions. There was no emotion to any of this in the way we understand emotion. There came a time when I had to make a choice to go on or return to my body. I knew without doubt that I had to return to raise my children. I knew my husband would resent my daughter if I left. In an instant, I was back in my pain-wracked body on my way into surgery with my eighth unit of blood dripping into me. How much time had passed? Did time exist in that other dimension? Did I see a long, white tunnel enticing me to enter it, a luminous savior or dead relatives waiting for me? No. I was only on that brink of deciding and understanding that it was not yet my time. I don’t believe that I have ever been more fully present, accepting and serene in my entire life. Later that week, as I recovered, I cried a million tears. Those around me thought I was experiencing the memory of suffering and fear. But it wasn’t. It was the total absence of fear with a new understanding of our continuation after death. It was a gratitude for a life that was entirely different since that experience. It seems like a paradox to no longer fear death and yet love every moment of life. But truly, they go together. It’s only in the knowledge of our finite time here without fear that we can completely engage in our world with true happiness and purpose. I feel blessed. Postscript: The above gives me a personal understanding and meaning to the phrase in Genesis.
Date NDE Occurred: 01-08-1970
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I severely hemorrhaged a week after childbirth. I received two units of plasma and then eight units of whole blood.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The things I experienced were verified. I clearly left my body and existed outside it.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The experience was the same throughout.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
What emotions did you feel during the experience? No emotion.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am much more religious. I practice Metaphysical Judaism as opposed to Conservative.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Jewish
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience See above writing.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was connected to the One. That was how I decided to return to my body.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was a knowing. See above writing.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes See above writing.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I had an awareness that we continue after death of the body.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes See above writing.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I value them even more.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am extremely sensitive to others energy and I sometimes 'see/feel' things that are happening to those close to me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The oneness of life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 10 years.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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