The underground train crashed. It was dark inside the earthly tunnel. The twisted metal compressed some human bodies and decapitated others. Huge rats were attracted by so many mutilated bodies, blood and dirt. The rescuers moved slowly, having no choice but to step on bodies of dead people, knowing they could do nothing for them. I heard someone comment that this was ethically wrong, but they also knew that deeper into the depth of the tunnel that had a single way in and out, were other people who could still survive and needed help. The rescuers had to get to the survivors. The whole scene was unworthy and disgusting, but entirely worthy of those rescuers. It was reported that when a flashlight or tool was dropped to the floor, there was no way to recover them; they were absorbed by darkness, dust, debris, glass, and metals. Following the sudden impact, I lost the notion of time, location, and everything else, including life itself. I felt that I 'ascended' into space and was being 'absorbed.' I floated upwards into a space where it was all white and peaceful. It was not shiny white like the sun reflecting on the snow, or like the white of clean bed sheets. It was a different whiteness. I was floating in the air and suspended in a vacuum. I was very happy while looking at the relaxing whiteness around me. I felt attracted to the whiteness, like through magnetism. I was being pulled gently up and absorbed slowly. I let myself go up, ever deeper into the whiteness and was eager to continue. I looked around me and everything was marvelous, calm, attractive, and inviting. There was no sound. The place radiated peace and was full of positive sensations. There was no sharp brilliance, walls, oceans, trees or buildings, or people there. Everything was a uniform white color; very relaxing, clean and pure. I did not see anyone, but I knew I was not alone. There was no solitude as I felt I was in good company. It was as if I were a child attracted by a sweet; that 'whiteness' attracted me. I continued to let myself go. I was getting closer and closer to the white. I did not know where I was, nor why I was there, or where I was going. The magnificent whiteness continued to attract me and I was pleased with it 'absorbing' me as I realized that it was never-ending and an eternal pleasure. I cannot say how long the heavenly experience lasted. But in an instant, I felt that I was descending and falling into an un-ending depth. I turned up in another place, that was very hot, full of loud screams, and it was like being tortured. This place was horrible, unpleasant, extremely scary, and totally dark. I did not want to be there as this place was absorbing me downward. I wanted to repel that fall and get away from that attraction. It was a torture for me and I could do nothing to stop being swallowed downwards. It was like when a child sees a lion and he gets scared and does not want to get any closer, but wants to 'run away' in the opposite direction. I was terrified. I do not remember any smells, not even a smell of sulfur. That does not mean that there was no smell, just that I do not remember any. I had been unconscious, 'dead?' I do not have any other additional earthly memories, from the moment of the impact of the train against the end of the tunnel and having seen the face of the woman sitting opposite me. She was a woman that I might have met sometime. She might have been an 'angel' that with his presence, might have wanted to give me a message. She died in the accident.
Date NDE Occurred: 28 February 1975
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other: Over 40 dead on the front coach and I believe only two survivors. I was unconscious for about 4-5 hours before rescuers arrived and shouted ‘is there anyone else there?’ and I responded, not knowing where I was or why I had to respond.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Only when rescuers arrived hours after the event. I heard someone shout, ‘Is there anybody else there?’ and I shouted back ‘Yes, I am here.’ However, I was not ‘conscious’ of anything at the time, I do not know to this date why I shouted back or what made me shout back.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Just before the train crashed, it shuddered and the lights went off, followed by the sound of the crash and I saw the woman that was sitting opposite me on the train, her face I still remember.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just before the train made impact with the concrete wall, about one second prior to the crash.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
First was the visit to Heaven, later that to Hell, there was no notion of time, however, all took place in the space of 4-5 hours real time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Before the experience, everything was 'material.' The vision of Heaven was that of peace, happiness, love and that of Hell was torment, screams, and heat.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. In the visit to Heaven, there was no sound that I could recall, but in that of Hell, there were screams.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes First exiting a tunnel of light and later into a tunnel of total darkness.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes All around me there was this pleasant continuous white light, as I was being elevated/sucked/attracted higher and higher.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm First Heaven, as the peaceful white environment that I wanted to remain there and then in Hell, a black environment that I repelled.
The experience included: Hellish imagery
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? In Heaven: happiness, love, peace, tranquility, brightness. In Hell: fear.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic "normal", no extreme attitudes
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Changed from average at the time of the event, to little belief and then powerful beliefs, after years of other events.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic convinced of the existance of both "heaven" and "hell", as I have visited them both. No extreme religious attitudes.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Continuity of our existence, before birth and after the body dies.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes cannot describe
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Could only understand years later
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain meaning could only be understood years later
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes as the accident happened inside a tunnel, with no light, the white environment I was could not have been of this world.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain could only understand years later
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain only years later
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain could only understand years later
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I have become more sensitive, more emotional, more intuitive. I now see the continuity of our existence from before we are born, through our human body and the release of our soul into eternity after we die. I have become more sensitive, more emotional, more intuitive. I now see the continuity of our existence from before we are born, through our human body and the release of our soul into eternity after we die.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes A girlfriend, at the time, committed suicide. Married a long known friend I always cared for unconditionally and we both have extreme, unexplained experiences.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes At the time (1975), nobody believed in going to Heaven and Hell and returning, only that you would be ‘mad’. Over the years, I gained ‘strength’ and understood the event.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Feeling phones ring, before they actually do. Getting people to call me or do things at a distance. Predicting someone's cry, before they receive the news for crying.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I saw both Heaven and Hell and not just one of them.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Initially, after a few hours, but as nobody believed and had reactions like ‘are you mad?’; then nothing until several years later when a friend asked me to write a book about it. Praying, a non-human apparition was seen at a remote distance by someone that I had never seen, but was caring for my dying mother. Wishing an event generally generates it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I could not explain to myself how I could have survived such a horrific accident amongst so many people dead. I could not explain to myself why I responded to the ‘is there anybody else’ call; there is a ‘gap’ in my human existence. The crystal clear images, feelings and sounds are as clear today as the first day.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have recently become interested in reading about other people's experiences and am amazed at the similarity of their descriptions to mine.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Two years ago, was very ill and went to Intensive care in hospital, I knew I was close to returning to the white environment.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Many things, mostly related in my book, but even more that have occurred after writing the book.