I experienced darkness during my NDE after a suicide attempt by ingesting fifty pills. I ended up in the intensive care unit of the Erasmus Hospital in Rotterdam. I saw a big black vacuum-like hole that seemed to exude great peacefulness. It was clear that the black hole was about to swallow me, but before I went in I was given a choice of many films that I could watch. There were black films and white films. The black films were the bad things I did in my life and the white films were the good things I did. I only wanted to see the white films; these films were of my young son from his birth until the present time. After I had watched all the white films all of them disappeared. The big black hole stopped it's vacuuming. It was obvious I wasn't welcome in the hole/tunnel. After that, I regained consciousness.
I'm not at all religious but all this was so intensely real that it certainly got me thinking. I've concluded there is much more to creation than merely what we can see.
Date NDE Occurred: 09 maart 2007
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Suicide attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I don't remember.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't remember.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors that I can't describe.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I saw the tunnel but did not enter or pass through it.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My son needed me more than ever after my experience. The fact that I only saw films about him while I was in front of the tunnel was also no mere coincidence.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes About six weeks later I began to talk about it but the usual reaction was 'yeah, sure' sometimes along with an incredulous chuckle.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was different from a dream, it was reality.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No. I'd only like to know the significance of my experience and if anyone else has ever experienced anything similar to it. [Translator's note: the message seems to be that we should, with acceptance, try to carry our burden in life to the very end to earn our children's admiration and our afterlife reward.]
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None.