When I started having my heart attack, as I was lying in the floor unable to move, I was afraid because I knew I was dying and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I won't bore you with the ride to the hospital and the treatments I received suffice to say I was overcome by the black veil of death. How ironic that's exactly what it is. After I realized I was on the other side and my fear subsided a little.
I realized that I had made a painless transition because you no longer feel the weight or trappings of your body. I was in total darkness that had put my panic emotion in overdrive. As I slowly began to acclimatize myself to my surroundings, I could feel evil slithering and crawling in the darkness all around me. I had only one thought going on inside me that being that they are looking for me! I was terrified and started looking for the light I thought was supposed to be here. I moved around as slowly and silently as possible looking for the light. I noticed it was lighter in one direction and started to move that way when I felt extreme aggression emanating from the right of me. Fearful of moving towards the light and highlighting myself with the light I instead withdrew into the darker shadow and stayed still. As I lay there listening to the scuttling and scurrying of all the evil feelings in the darkness around me I tried to figure out what to do next.
I knew if I moved from the amount of activity that was going on around me, that I would be discovered. I was at my wits end when I said, 'God help me.' Instantly everything around me went scurrying off in every direction and that was when I felt it. It is a feeling of Perfect love and trust. A feeling so strong that it could be felt so far away that traveling at supersonic speeds it would take half an hour to get there. The closer it came the stronger the feeling became until this immense feeling totally engulfed me in ecstasy so intense as to be unimaginable (for lack of better words) and lifted me by my elbows above the darkness and away we went; me being supported by two beings that felt better than a mother's breast to a newborn. I looked up at my benefactors and found that they were dressed in black gowns and had a screen over their faces that, if you looked closely, had a mirror like substance that reflected your own image back at you. They were giving me reassurances through feelings and music that was like talking, only better than language. There is nothing to learn you can understand totally. They stopped before something I couldn't make out what as it seemed that when I looked past them everything was out of focus.
One of them opened up what was as if a giant tobacco sack made of suede leather it was so soft. As she opened it, we all went inside and the sack closed over us. They then told me an immense amount of information in a gleaming. The gist of which is that this was my world and I controlled it and everything in it, I could bring anything I wanted into my world no limits. It was mine to do with as I wished. The only rule was that if I removed something it could never come back. They then instructed me to picture in my mind a place that I felt safe. I did and it developed right before my eyes. They then asked me if anything was wrong and I saw a couple of things that were and they instantly transformed, sort of like mercury rearranging, until they were perfect then they left. I started to explore my new world from the comfort of my oversized recliner and was really relaxing when suddenly they told me I had to go back to the other world for a while.
I voiced my objections, they firmly lifted me out of the pod, and away we went. I looked around as we were leaving as they said it was permitted of residents. I am unable to describe what I saw for lack of language to describe it. I wanted for a time after I got back to paint it but lack the talent to do so. Anyway, I was taken to a place where I could see my body through a black veil and was shoved feet first through the top of my head back into my body. When I opened my eyes I was inside my body, it was in pain, and the doctor and a nurse were asking me if I knew where I was. The doctor told me that I may have some broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, among other things, and that I was on a balloon pump and it looked like I was going to recover some of my memories and functions damaged by oxygen deprivation. I looked down at my chest and it was discolored and swollen to resemble a football under the skin on the right side of my chest. I was uncomfortable to say the least; I tried to move my right arm and heard this awful loud scream. I looked around, I was back behind the veil, LOVE and TRUTH were there, and they asked why I was back so soon. Then they laid what looked like a chrome flashlight on my chest. It played a colorful tone, my chest went down, and they asked if there was anything else, I would like other than returning to my pod, as I like to call it. I said no and they told me it would be there waiting on me and then I was back.
Date NDE Occurred: June 23,1995
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death
I had a blood clot in my lower body somewhere (I suspect my knee as it never bothered me again afterwards) work its way slowly to my heart. By the time I got to the hospital, my blood pressure was forty over twenty and my heart rate was astronomical. From there things proceeded to get worse. I had been feeling bad for three days. My heat was stopped for twenty-three minutes I was told later.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Everything was the same except no one had any feet or sexual organs.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? To people around me I'm sure it seemed I was unconscious, but to me I was alert and very afraid. I was at the most fearful point of my existence.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was a background sound very pleasant.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain A black veil that can only be seen from the other side.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See main narrative.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm See main narrative.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear at first then unimaginable LOVE. LOVE so strong you could feel it seven miles away, lightly at first then, as it got closer, an intensity that there is no way to describe. The very worst feeling for the entire time I was gone was like comparing the best instant of your life is the worst of the other.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will There was no way I wanted to come back here, but I had no say in the matter other than to voice my opinions.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Wiccan
What is your religion now? Moderate Baptist, Wiccan
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes How do you describe things there are no words or names for to someone who has not seen the overwhelming immensity of the continuation of life in the spiritual form?
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being there and having to come back but knowing where I am going.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes No one listened, they all told me what I had seen from their point of view as though it were up for discussion like a book report so I quit telling anyone and it dims as time goes on.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain