While stopped in the breakdown lane due to engine failure, I was rear-ended by a car doing sixty-five miles per hour. The left rear wheel was pushed up against the backside of the driver's seat; the vehicle was pushed over fifty yards and across the three northbound lanes of traffic into a concrete jersey barrier. A registered nurse was two cars behind, and when she checked me for a pulse and respiration, she found none, so she moved on to the next vehicle. Approx. four and half minutes later, I crawled through the passenger window and walked across the lanes of traffic.
I remember being drawn toward a warm and lighted place, and thoughts and ideas were being imparted to me as though people were talking to me, yet there were no faces. I felt safe and secure as I progressed toward the light, then, as though I was being yanked back on a bungee cord, I was pulled backwards into total darkness and I knew that I was scared, naked, and cold. I ran, but I did not know what I was running from. I ran off the end of a cliff or precipice of some sort and as I fell, it became lighter and I began to develop panoramic eyesight like a raptor. As I fell further, I finally took flight, and I saw far below me the body of a Native American woman lying face down in the dirt. I flew down to her, rolled her over, a great white bird rose out of her body and flew away, and I then went to ashes, much like a Phoenix. For years (every night), this experience manifested itself as a dream, and I was forced to relive it over and over again to the point where I was afraid to sleep. Years later, as I was about to begin a new college class, the professor walked in, looked at me, I looked at her, and she motioned for me to follow her into the hallway. I recognized her and she recognized me. She then began to recount to me the details of my experience when I died in vivid detail. As it turned out, she is a Native American (Mohawk), and is known as Snowy Owl Woman (great white bird). Since then, she has been my mentor, my shaman teacher, and my connection to the Shadow World. I have mixed my blood with hers, and I am known in the clan as Kahrhokon: ha, Old Hawk. I now follow the ways of the ancients, walk the Medicine Circle, and journey often to the Shadow World in behalf of others, helping them to understand the journey of death, and to dispel in others the linear nature of fear of death, and instill the faith that what lies ahead is a Sacred Path for all.
Date NDE Occurred: 26 May 1991
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death
Died as result of a car crash.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes See body of experience.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was clinically dead, but very conscious and alert as to all that was going on in the other side experience.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Both going towards the light, as well as being yanked back by some force.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See body of experience.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Hard to find words to describe it -- it wasn't blinding, yet it possessed a warmth that almost imbued it with knowledge or wisdom.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm See body of experience.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Warmth, joy, elation, safety, fear, terror, loss of control, emptiness.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe But only while in the presence of the light/aura -- it was as though I had all the answers to all the questions that have/do/and will exist.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Father was a Calvinist minister~ predestination of the Reformation was a strong undertone.
What is your religion now? Liberal Am Ph.D.'d in Philosophy in Religion~ I embrace all aspects of spirituality and have shifted from what was once a linear view of life to one of cyclical in nature~ much like 'samsara'.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My approach to life is a bit cavalier, I don't worry about money, what others think, I fear very little, I seek risk at every opportunity.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes No human language cannot express the essence of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I know danger before it happens -- I have to be hyper vigilant not to say anything to others to interrupt the cycle -- for me the danger is of no consequence, for I don't fear the outcome of facing the danger.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Hmmmmm -- I'll leave this one blank.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Very few, most envision NDE as some sort of paranormal 'thing' and react very strangely to the story. Besides, how do you find words to fully explain what happened and to impart to them to not 'sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff'. Only other NDE people understand, and we recognize each other with no words exchanged.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.