I'm in a 'tunnel' that's ox-blood red, it's narrow or sort of 'close'. I kind of float ahead through windings and curves, but I never hit anything. It feels warm, peaceful and pleasant and it's just like 'everything runs smoothly'. There's someone there with me, a presence I can only feel. Suddenly I know and understand everything, I know what everything is like, and I know I'm in the realm of death. The 'journey' continues and I'm a small child and my 'current' self all at the same time. I just AM, it's impossible to describe. We get to this enormous light and I feel that my companion gets there before me, and I just know it's a boy my age: seventeen years. We are greeted by a 'being' that is light, it's like a glow coming from it, I don't know if it's a she or a he. But it radiates so much love and safety it's indescribable. The boy 'disappears' into the light, but for some reason I'm not allowed to come along - I so much want to come too, it's so wonderfully comfortable, I feel so absolutely great - I stay by the light being, I can't get past it, I'm told it's not my time yet. Then everything goes black.
When I wake up later I feel such an enormous sense of loss and disappointment because I couldn't go too, I'm almost angry about it. I'm aware that for a while I 'knew everything', but can't get hold of that knowledge again in my 'waking' state.
Date NDE Occurred: 9/29/1975-9/30/1975
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Allergic reaction Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . My body stopped taking in, receiving, oxygen.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I knew almost from the beginning what it was all about, I knew that I died, I knew everything.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know because I had a feeling of being alert all the time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was in all time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I 'saw' details extremely clearly.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Don't know if I heard or 'thought' what I heard.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Through an ox-blood red soft winding tunnel (or tube).
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Someone was there with me but we didn't communicate. I (we) met a being that in some way 'told' me it wasn't my time yet.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A huge white light, but it did not hurt the eyes like sunlight.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Jag var i luften,som i en galleria och runt om mig var det olika våningar där det satt folk och skrev. (Har senare sett en bild över en tidningsredaktion som verkar vara just det jag såg.)
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first wonder, then an instant realization that this was death, then curiosity and an enormous 'feeling of love' (I felt I was endlessly loved).
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Maybe, I was both a child and an adult at the same time. I suppose I learned to take one day at a time.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I saw something that I later came by in my profession several years later.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I came to a boundary. I couldn't get past the light being into the light.
There were more people 'in there', old and young, some of them were sent back but as 'new people'.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I think I'm a bit more humble when it comes to other people's beliefs.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think I'm a bit more humble when it comes to other people's beliefs.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Then I had the feeling of knowing and understanding everything.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I take the day as it comes, I can't worry about what might happen like other people, which some think is indifference and lack of interest, but myself I feel I've become a realist, things (including feelings) are as they are and as they will be. Sometimes I just know how something is going to be, not in detail, but if it will be good or not. I don't cry at funerals for instance, but feel (this really sounds morbid) a happiness of sorts for the dead person's sake who is now allowed to go into the light.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's hard to describe feelings that are so strong and the 'knowledge' that all of a sudden you KNOW EVERYTHING.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I frequently dream about funerals and the person that's dead in my dream is very much alive, and after nine days I get the message that someone has died. It's never the person I've dreamt about, but I've found that I feel the same emotional closeness to the person in the dream that I feel to the person who dies in real life, but I don't know who it is in the dream. So I can't say WHO is going to die.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'm not afraid of dying anymore, I almost want to, I don't want to hurry it along, but I think I'll welcome it when it's time. I long for this enormous love I experienced.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I could after my 'journey' I told my parents about it. They listened carefully, but I don't know if it affected them in any way. They were mostly happy that I was back.
It took about twenty years before I spoke about my 'death dreams'. It was then that I started writing them down and came up with this about the emotional closeness. The person I told listened calmly and asked some questions and helped me 'see' the connection.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was just REAL, it happened, it wasn't a dream.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. The experience was real, it's like it happened just now.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It's not easy to suggest something and it's not easy to describe the experience when you only have the written word to your disposal.