The fact of the matter is that I died, I remember feeling my heart slow down until it stopped, at that moment my eyes closed. Not more than what seemed a second later I could see again. It was as if I had stepped through my eyelids.
I sat up and was in awe at how clear everything appeared. I had worn glasses or contacts my entire life, so I was amazed at the sharpness of the room around me and the vividness of the colors. I could perceive an energy surrounding everything. The books, desk, furniture of the room all seemed to have a slight glow that radiated from them. No sooner had I noticed this than I realized I could see 360 degrees around me. I didn't need to turn my head I just looked and I saw. There behind me lay my body and at that moment, I realized I had died.
At the moment of realization, I saw a light come from the doorway. As I stared into it, the room seemed to be blown away and I was in another realm. At first, all I perceived was a vast area that I knew somehow extended into infinity. The area was lighted but the source of the illumination I couldn't see. The entire universe was of the richest deepest dark purple I had ever seen. At that moment I realized that all of my senses were heightened, I could hear silence. There was no noise but I was hearing something. Perhaps it was the 'existence' of this universe; it was alive. I was breathing but not, instead of air I felt a living force flowing through me. I felt as though I was swimming in the very Essences of Love.
As I moved through this space, I became aware of others around me. There was no one I knew, but I sensed other beings. Soon I saw them as small golden orbs of light, each separate, an individual. Yet, a thin thread linked them all. They extended out as far as I could see in my mind I knew that each and every one was connected and joined with what I believed was God.
It is important to note here that I never heard voices; rather words seemed to enter my mind as immediately as I perceived something. It was like a running narration in a film. I was given answers to my questions before I could even ask. Almost immediately I knew I was not staying, this universe seemed to know my desired to understand life and the mysteries of why we are on this earth. It was going to tell me.
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this other/being, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
As the questions and answers ended, I felt myself fall. With a jerk, I was back in my own body. My eyes opened back to my own world. Only scant minutes passed, but it seemed like an eternity.
I learned many other things that as time passed, I forgot.
Date NDE Occurred: March 2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Suicide attempt 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I'm not sure, it seemed pretty consistent.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not sure, it seemed pretty consistent.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I sensed time didn't exist or was linear, that is it moved sideways, rather than forward or back.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was heightened, I wear glasses normally but everything was so clear and brighter. Also, I couldn't see my nose or face it was like I had 360 degree vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was heightened; even silence seemed to have a sound.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was more of a lighted doorway.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I had an awareness of others and saw things that looked like orbs that I knew were others.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At first as if I were being transported then a universe of Deep Purple.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm An infinite universe of purple that went on forever
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? An intense feeling of love, as if I was swimming in it.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I refer you to my narration.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future No certain knowledge of specific things, just a 'knowing' that all things will work out to what they are meant to be.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Faith None
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal Christian/New Age
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Again I'll refer you to my narration I go into detail there.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I seek friends more for wisdom now and peaceful nature.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The overall emotions and scope.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Wisdom, patience and a deep understanding about the workings of the universe.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was. I felt I was granted a gift.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I spoke of it often to friend's right afterwards and wrote it down a day or so after the event, my narration is from that writing.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read of them though never expected to have one. I should mention that all my life I wanted to know the answers to the questions of the universe and that I often prayed for these.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real When it happened I felt it was real, afterwards I began to feel maybe it was a dream.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real I still believe it happened but human memory is weak and clouds things. It is in our nature to doubt things over time.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I can't think of a thing.