I was at home and about to play my favorite online game when I suddenly found it very difficult to breath. I just ignored it, but then it became more serious. I felt like there was no air and I tried hard to breathe forcefully. I didn't know what to do that time as my vision turned darker. So I lay down on the bed instead, but then felt the motion of my bowels and I smelt very bad. That smell was very different. Once I smelt it, I felt nauseous. I still thought not to vomit on the bed, although I knew I had already soiled it. I looked around and it was very dark, like night already, but I knew it was only 4pm. I chose not to vomit on the bed, so I forced myself to get up and go to the bathroom instead. At the same time, I wanted and needed to take a bath. I removed all of my clothes. I then totally blacked out, fell down and knocked my head on the floor. That's the last thing I remember before I returned to consciousness.
Suddenly I was in a very dark tunnel going up, up, up, way up above. Then came a very dark place, which I know was a tunnel. After passing through it, it changed to very bright light. I thought it was the sun, but it was not. I have no idea where that light came from. Someone spoken to me for a while, and that voice came from the light. You know what I felt when I saw that light? I felt that someone loves me very much, but I had no idea who it was. I was very overwhelmed with that bright light. While I was there, I felt the love, and that love I never felt before. That light welcomed me very warmly and loved me very much. My words to the light before I woke up were, 'I want to stay here, but I love my two kids'. With that, I suddenly woke up.
It was already 8.30pm that time. I was very dirty, and very smelly all over the place. I was still breathless. I was very confused and didn't know what to do. I panicked, so I opened the door and asked my maid for help. I opened the door, fully naked (I never felt shame after this experience). My maid told me that my face and my whole body had turned black, and when she touched me she said that I was very cold, like dead person. She started to clean my dirty bed. I told to my maid everything that had happened to me. I still don't know what an NDE was at that time so I didn't tell her the whole story. A few months after the incident, I slowly told her what happened to me.
I'm still asking myself what really happened to me that day of May 2, 2007.
It was very scary experience. I thought I wouldn't be able to see my two kids anymore. Was it true that the light was God? Was this the reason I felt very overwhelmed? I felt that only that light ever loved me, and no-one else does. People know only to beat me, hurt me, criticize me, offend me and much more. Nobody loved me in that way before. How I wish my two kids and me could go there and feel that love forever. I didn't like to leave my children behind and that's why I preferred to take care of them first. As a single mother/parent I have to love my children unconditionally. My mission is to raise them up in a proper manner and help poor people.
Date NDE Occurred: 2nd May 2007
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was breathless, I was too tired to breathe and had no air supply.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I can't remember, I just recall it started at 4pm and it lasted for more than four hours.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Sometimes I saw green, purple, white and the image of God.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing sounded like an airplane landing and taking off.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I passed through a very dark tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A very bright light, from which I felt love.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I thought I was dying and wouldn't be able to see my children anymore, but happy because I felt happiness and love during my NDE.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future It was going to be a genuine revival and the beginning of my new life full of joy and happiness.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It is difficult to explain. Maybe God has given me work for him and that is my mission.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My feelings towards my separated husband have changed. I feel he is now a very close friend, and not an ex or husband. I have slowly forgotten about people who treated me very badly. I feel that I am starting a new life. I can see myself and that I have changed my attitude. The usual hot tempered me became very tame. Even when I know that people are cheating me, I still believe them and show them that I am ignorant. I pretend I don't know what they are doing behind my back.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The bright light. I won't forget the love from that light. Until this moment, the love from that light is still in me, and will be forever in my life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes People did not believe all that I said and thought I was crazy. I think only my maid believed me, because she has seen my situation after the experience.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I saw astounding, extremely rare events. I can tell you, here and now, that not all of these events are going to be catastrophic.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes After my experience, I believe I can cure. I tried to cure my son when he injured his arm. I cured my daughter every time she felt pain in any part of her body. I cured my maid's eyes, through the application of oil and by chanting. Maybe it was just coincidence that I cured them, but I really do believe I can cure.