I had been in labor for three days. My body was exhausted beyond any exhaustion I had ever known. I pushed as long as I could but just gave out. Then I was watching everything from up above and I could see all of these people walking in and out of a door of light. I suddenly found myself standing behind the doctor who was trying to deliver my daughter and I could see the top of her head coming out and blood flowing around it. My body was still and silent but I felt calm and a deep, joyous peace. I had never felt so good in my life. I soon became aware of several people standing with me to watch my daughter's birth. They were encouraging her and I felt an overwhelming sense of love from them for her. One woman was standing next to me with an arm around me. It felt so safe and warm with her. She commented to me softly that my daughter was such a beautiful little girl; but just as her delivery was difficult, so would be her life. Up to the day of delivery, I had been told that my baby was a boy.
I was confused as to why she would say my baby was a girl, especially with only her head showing by this time. She proceeded to tell me that my daughter would need all of the love and support I could give her so that she would make the right choices when she needed to. Her road was a road less traveled. This woman explained that she knew I wanted to stay on 'this side' but I had to go back to take care of my children and to 'get back on track.' Several of the people congratulated me on the wonderful gift that I was given and told me that I was so precious to them yet I did not know any of them. The woman pulled me back from the group and told me to remember all that she said, gave me a big hug, and told me it was time to go.
The nurse walked into the delivery room with the supplies the doctor sent her for and she noticed I was not moving. She spoke to me first and then shook me but I was like a rag doll in her hands. The lady who was standing next to me moved me toward my body and told me to go back and to stop scaring the nice nurse. I was reluctant to go back to the chaos of life. I wanted to stay. The next thing I knew, I was on the table in great pain and the people were going back through the door of light. I told the nurse what I was seeing and both she and the doctor had a look of fear on their faces. The doctor hurried to stitch off all the breeders and started to yell out orders. I looked at the door of light as the woman started to go through. She stopped to smile and wave. When she walked through, the door closed. She is the same woman who has been there to meet me on each of my near death experiences. To this day, I long for that feeling and I look forward to going back.
Date NDE Occurred: 18 July 1988 was my first. I have had 4 NDE's to date
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Other: Unconscious.
I was bleeding out due to childbirth and became unconscious without medical personnel noticing.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could hear and see everything that was happening in the room.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was standing behind the doctor talking to the woman; I was aware of everything at the same time. It was all encompassing.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was standing behind the doctor talking to the woman; I was aware of everything at the same time. It was all encompassing.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost all meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was foggy confusion and chaos before but enlightened fulfillment and joy during.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard all things in harmony while I was there. My ears were confused by the chaos surrounding me before.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I stood at the doorway and could see a bright hallway of light.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I found out later that the woman was my great, great grandmother. I am not sure who all the other people were.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was so bright I had to shield my eyes.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was as if we were watching from behind a two way mirror.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt calm, content, happy, and safe. It was perfect.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others The best way to describe it is to think of it as having a mental cold. Everything is stuffed up and clogged. Your thoughts are sluggish until you are given some mental cold medicine. You suddenly see colors brighter, think better, grasp everything, you are healed.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was not allowed through the door.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Mormon
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Religion is made by man. You do not need a chapel to pray in. God is everywhere.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Mormon
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Angels do not have wings. We all have the potential for greatness, what we do with that is our choice...be it right or wrong. You are never alone. I got my attitude from my guardian angel.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know that we are not alone. They are with us all the time. They are as real as you or I but most of us cannot sense or see them. They are here for us, to watch us, guide us, help us, and direct us. Our time here is just a small part of the big picture.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin At the time I did not know who she was but when my grandmother passed away I was going through her things with my mother. I found some pictures that had the woman in them. It was her grandmother, my great, great grandmother.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes They knew my daughter before she was born. They loved her and were with her before she came to this earthly existence. We are all this way.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes You would have to feel it to understand.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes How could you not experience the clarity and love that I have without knowing there are greater things out there?
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We are here to learn and mature. We learn to make choices and grow from them. We are making this lesson harder than it should be.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I could see people walking through a door of light. I had contact with them and spoke to them. I could feel them just as I can feel the floor beneath my feet now.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I was told of difficulties that my children would face and that I was their support, not their dictator. I needed to be prepared to guide and direct them so that they could find their path again if they became lost.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes For example, if you hit your thumb with a hammer you learn to use the hammer differently. You may also decide to never touch a hammer again. Either way, it is your choice and you must learn to deal with your choices...just as someone must decide to help y
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is the key to all things.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Before my experience, I had the idea that, 'She who dies with the most goodies wins!' Now I strive to be the best I can be so that I can get back as fast as I can. I listen to others more and am more at ease.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I was kind of a wild child before and had a 'screw you' attitude mixed with a bit of 'what can you do for me.' Now I am more inclined to be honestly concerned about your day and if there is any way I can help. I never got along with my Mom but started to call her every day.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no words to truly describe how it felt there.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I can remember the experience as if it just happened.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can tell if something is wrong with people, places, or things. I know when an event is a pivot point in my life. I know things that I should not be able to know. I dream of people who have information to pass along.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I never felt as safe and as loved as I have with each NDE.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It took me 14 years to talk about it. My daughter was asking if I had ever experienced the same thing she did when she went code blue on the surgery table and asked if she had a brother who had died before her. She told me about David staying with her to keep her safe while they 'fixed' her.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had seen a blurb about it on a TV show.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience was definitely real. I could feel their touch; hear their words just as if you and I were to have a conversation. Things I was told have come true. How could it not be true? Getting others to listen is the hard part.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real After four NDEs you know it is real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I have had three other NDE's and the same woman has always been there to tell me what I needed to know and send me back.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is evil in the world as well as good. It lurks just outside of the light.