I jumped on a stall door which fell into the back end of a horse. I clearly remember falling. I remember seeing the hoof come at the right side of my face. I heard the thunk as it struck my head as I was flung backward. The next thing I remember, was floating about 8 feet above the ground and about 12 feet to the southeast of my body, which was lying spread eagled on its back. I watched my friend Gene cross my arms over my chest and pull my body out of the stall. The horse had turned around and was nuzzling my body. My other friend Steve came running up and Gene waved his arms and talked excitedly, obviously telling Steve to go to the office and call for help.
The impression of myself was as a cartoon thought-bubble, like a translucent gray cloud. I could not hear sound, speak or be seen. Although, I could think clearly and knew what was happening on the ground. I did not feel any distress or fear, only a rather mild, detached curiosity at the situation. After Steve ran off, I turned around and found myself in a limitless gray fog. There was no sense of individual Beings, but there was a multiple presence. I had an overwhelming feeling of contentment and well-being. Of course, I had no eyes or ears, but I clearly 'heard' the communication of, 'You may stay or go, it is your decision. There are things we would like you to do, but it is your choice.' There was no judgment or pressure. Rather the communication had an impartial, almost bored tone. I replied, 'I guess I’ll go back.' Immediately a roaring whirlpool/tunnel opened up and pulled me toward it. As I entered the tunnel, I thought, 'This is gonna hurt' (meaning the pain from the injury to my body) And of course, it was very painful when I regained consciousness.
The only time I experienced a strong emotion was when I said I would go back. The feeling then was of an unutterable sadness of leaving that place. I can still remember the very poignant sense of loss at that moment. Moments later, I regained consciousness. I was on my back with my arms crossed over my chest and the horse was still nuzzling me. My friend Gene, kept trying to push her head away. My head hurt terribly. I had a partially detached retina, multiple chips to the right zygomatic arch, and a bone deep laceration. I was unconscious for maybe 5-10 minutes. I am sure that I was given a chance to die, or to return to my body. I still feel an almost unbearable sense of loss for leaving. I never told anyone about this experience because it was too personal and I couldn’t bear the thought of someone trying to rationalize it away. It has been 50 years and I still remember the experience as if it happened this morning. I hope I did the things they wanted me to do.
Date NDE Occurred: 12/20/1966
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Direct head injury. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening
I was kicked in the head by a horse and lost consciousness.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my body on the ground, saw my friend Gene place my arms over my chest and pull my body out of the stall. I saw the horse nuzzling me, and I saw Gene tell Steve to run to phone for help. When I regained consciousness my arms were crossed over my chest, my body had been dragged out and the horse was still nuzzling me vigorously trying to get me to move.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. More aware of surroundings, but there was a sense of detachment from normal feelings, like sadness or curiosity.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was completely aware and alert the entire time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses More vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was watching from 8 feet or so off the ground. I normally wear glasses, but I could 'see' my surroundings clearly without glasses. I could direct my attention to close items, or to far away buildings, as I 'saw' my friend Steve run to a distant building to get to a phone. I had no eyes, but could direct my attention whichever way I wanted.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There were no sounds. The thoughts I had were projected into my head and were as clear as English. I have no explanation for how I heard. It was not a voice.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No
The experience included: Passing into or through a tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I only went through the tunnel on the way back to my body. A tunnel isn’t exactly right. When I said I would go back, a black hole opened beside me. It was a gradually expanding black hole that pulled me into it, almost like a cross between a whirlpool and a tunnel. There was a rushing/roaring sound that increased as I was pulled into it. There was no fear or distress at entering the tunnel; just again that rather detached unemotional curiosity.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an Unearthly light? Uncertain I was in a translucent gray fog/cloud, neither warm nor cold. It had no bottom or top and felt vast.
The experience included: An unearthly landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. I was in a translucent gray fog/cloud. My sense of myself was as a gray floating part of the cloud.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Mostly mild curiousity and detachment. Absolutely no fear or distress even when viewing my body on the ground. Incredible contentment and peace when in the 'gray cloud' and incredible sadness and loss when I made the decision to leave and come back.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I was told that I could 'stay or go, the decision was mine. There were things they wanted me to accomplish, but the decision was mine.' I felt an obligation to come back and do 'these things' whatever they were. I would have liked to stay. The feeling of peace over there is inexpressible with words.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I went to church at my parents' insistence but was not and am not, a believer.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I quit believing in organized religion, their teachings didn’t coincide well with what I experienced.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I went to a Protestant church, teaching about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, heaven and hell. This experience was not even close to what they taught me in Sunday School.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I stopped going to church. Their teachings did not coincide with my experience.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I had no ears, no body. Yet I very clearly heard that I was being given a choice to stay or go. I have no idea how this communication was accomplished, but it was as clear as if it was spoken. It was communicated with no judgment, no pressure. There was just that calm detachment and almost indifference that I experienced throughout most of the experience.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain The gray cloud/fog felt like it could have been a spiritual unity. All felt as if it were one, if that makes any sense.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain. I was 'told' there were things they wanted me to accomplish. I don’t know what those things were, but I have done a lot in the 50 years since my experience. I hope I covered all of my assignment!
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists. Yes The place I was in during the experience is as real to me as the room I am sitting in. I was given a choice to stay there or go back. It was not the heaven or hell that is described in religious literature. The feeling there is profound, and the terrible sadness of leaving there was wrenching.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. It is important to be kind to others, be truthful, and not to fear death.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feeling of well-being I experienced in that place is inexpressible in words; as is the sadness in leaving it, and the longing to stay. Those were the only strong feelings I had during the experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. After 50 years the experience remains more vivid than anything else in my life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It really truly happened. I cherish the memory because the place I was at for such a short time, gave me such a wonderful peace. Words cannot describe the feeling, that is as close as I can come.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. After 50 years the memory is as vivid as if it just happened. There is no explanation for where I was, and words are really inadequate to describe it. Actually I am uneasy sharing it for the first time, it was an intensely personal memory.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? The thought has crossed my mind that this was another dimension, not heaven or nirvana, but a parallel dimension that we cross over when we are born, and return to after we die, hence the 'tunnel.'
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