Experience Description

I was going along living my happy little life, when in one day; it was almost taken from me. I thought that I had the flu, but it turns out that the virus attacked the lining of my heart, causing it to swell. I lost consciousness at home, and an ambulance took me to the hospital. I coded two times that night, and once the next afternoon.

The third time, I didn't struggle any longer. I thought, 'This is it, I'm not coming home.' I let myself swirl away. I saw darkness, but felt peaceful and not scared at all - almost like I was in a deep sleep. My husband was in the room, and he saw them bag me, inject me, and race in with the crash-cart. The next thing I saw was the nurse's face. She said, 'You made it baby. Stay with us.' At first, I felt disappointed. I thought, 'Why is this woman waking me up?' Then almost instantly, I felt like I was given a job to complete, or a mission to fulfill, but I couldn't tell you what that was. Each and every day, I began frantically searching (refusing to notice the clues that were given to me along the way). I was so desperate to find it, but it just wasn't coming. I began to wonder why I was forced to come back.

As I regained my strength, I began to remember being at the top of the Earth in the white clouds, only the Earth wasn't huge with me as a little speck in the middle. It was small, and surrounded me. I saw two groups of forest (noticing the brown tree tops) with a green valley cut between. I can feel a distinct field of energy around me at all times. It's all positive energy, and makes me feel so good. I have had one real connection with a woman who put her arms around my body without touching me, and said that she could feel the heat surrounding me almost a foot off my body. When I was standing face to face with her, I could almost breathe her soul. The connection was unbelievable.

My physical wellbeing has changed also. I'm stronger, more focused, and energetic. The world is too important to be consumed with pettiness, and hypocrisy, and things are in perspective. Day to day chores are now just common, and nothing except this mission that I'm on consumes me. My husband is having a hard time believing this. He has threatened to leave me at least five times, but I still can't stop myself from finding out what my job is. All in all, my near death experience is the best thing that has ever happened to me, because it has opened my eyes, and with each passing day, I find another piece to my puzzle, and am becoming more and more complete. Sometimes I even feel like I'm stuck somewhere between here and there.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: February 18, 2003

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain acute pericarditis (i caught a cold in my heart) Life threatening event, but not clinical death I'm not sure I understand the question. I had a life-threatening event, but did anyone else that I know have one? The answer is no.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain This just happened to me seven weeks ago, and it seems that I am remembering more and more as time goes on.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I just remember swirling away - deep into the pillow - and then everything was black, but peaceful.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I don't think I did.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I was surrounded by the Earth I think, but it was small and round, so, I really don't know.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain At the time, no. But thinking back - it certainly wasn't dark.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Just the top of the Earth.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I am still uncertain about a lot that happened to me. All I can tell you is that as time went on; my life has changed dramatically for the better.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will All I can tell you is I felt kind of forced to come back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate catholic

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know that God is real, and I feel the holy spirit all around me.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Well, it actually took me a couple of days to remember it, but when I did, I knew. It almost felt like I was at the top of the Earth looking down. But the Earth wasn't huge, it was small and circular around me. I saw two groups of forest with a green valley cut between. I just remember being surrounded - it was peaceful, and I think about it a lot.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can feel some sort of energy all around me. If someone else is 'glowing', I can see it. I've seen and felt all positive energy except for one night. I felt a negative source - not surrounding me, but nearby.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Worst, my husband not believing in me. He made me feel like I was going crazy, and I even began to question what I saw. The best, well, I believe that I've met some guides in this life that helped me to believe in myself, kept me on track, and pushed me towards my mission.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only with people that I know will believe me. My favorite question to a new person is, 'What does spirituality mean to you?' Their answer determines whether or not I share my experience with them.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Mmm, just that it has turned my life around, and I like the way I feel with this energy force around me and when I remember where I was. Oh, and trust yourself, no matter what anyone tells you, because, as long as you work towards your mission, I don't think any harm will come your way. That's what I feel anyway.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Nope, I think you've covered everything.