I had open heart surgery, and even though I had died on the table, and even though things were just not feeling right to me, I was sent home. The next morning, my husband had to go to work, so I stayed in bed. I guess something woke me up – and then after a few minutes, I had this really sharp pain. It was just not going away – I could not even breathe. I'm telling you, this pain was so great that I knew I was having a heart attack!!! I could not even reach the phone to call for help. ‘This is it,’ I thought. ‘I'm going to die here by myself.’ The pain was getting worse and worse, and soon I could not even breathe. Then there was this really bright light. I had never seen anything like it before! It was so soft! I was drawn to it. I remember there was this guy whose face I could not see. I knew him, and he knew who I was. As I looked around, I saw people sitting in this room that was like a tunnel. They all knew who I was, but I didn't know them. Either that or I could not tell who they were, for they had no faces, or maybe their faces were just in shadow from the bright light. They were talking to me, asking me questions, asking me why don't I just stay here – but I told them that I had too many things to take care of. I said that I had people that needed me and were counting on me, and I just could not stay. Then the guy asked me if I was sure, I didn't want to stay there. I said no – but, I must say, I had never felt as peaceful as I felt there – so happy. Hearing these people talking, I felt like I was home – like I was a child again.
Then the guy told me that I really was not ready to be there. He said that I had something to do, and when I do it, I will come back here and be home again. I asked him, ‘What is it that I am supposed to do?’ He did tell me, but I can't remember what it was, except that it was important that I do it. I really hated to leave such a peaceful place! And, Oh! – The light was still there! It had never gone away since I had arrived there. This happened to me a few years ago. Since then, I've had breast cancer and have died again – 4 times – on the operating table. ONE of those times, I saw that light again, but it was like only for a minute, and I was back again. To this day, I still remember it so clearly, like it was yesterday. I can even remember the guy's voice. I've thought about this so many times, asking myself whether this could have been just a dream. (Oh, yes, and that day that I had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital—I was there for about 2 weeks.) I guess I still have not done whatever I am supposed to do. But I do know that I *will* be home again...and at peace.
Date NDE Occurred: April 13 1997
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-related. I had an open heart surgery which I had died on the table! Other I had an open heart surgery had died on the table and but that was not the first time !
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I don't remember ever having consciousness until I came to and was being worked on...
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't remember having consciousness at all, until I came to and was being worked on...
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Well, it did seem like a long time, but I knew it was only a few minutes.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have tried so many times to explain what the bright light was like. I know my colors well, for I also paint, and yet I still cannot come close to being able to describe the light I saw.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. For it was like I could hear them, yet I could not see them talk...and their voices were very soft.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a big soft room shaped like a tunnel.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did. They even talked to me like family would. I still could not see their faces. Yet in some way I knew them.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy and at peace. I have never felt like that again...
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Very much, for the beliefs I always had are against anything like this, so I am always fighting with myself about it!!
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Very much, for the beliefs I always had are against anything like this, so I am always fighting with myself about it!!
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told that there was something that I had to do. Even though I can't remember what it was, I do know that when I get it done, I will be back there.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband now, through the years, has come to believe that what happened to me was real, for I see many things now that I never did before. Some have come to pass. Even all my family and friends believe me.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Nowadays I just know that some things are going to happen, and they do! But I feel that it is so very wrong to do this.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Well, I still wonder if it was just a dream. But I know that the pain was not a dream! I do remember, so strongly, how peaceful it was. I knew that for me, it was home.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have told everyone – first I told my husband. He believes me now, forever since my experience, when I tell him that things are going to happen, they do. I just don't understand everything yet, or why these things come to me. Like the earthquake we had on the East Coast a couple of months ago – I kept telling him, 'Something is coming.' Some people believe me when I talk to them, and some people don't.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real Even to this day I still remember everything about it, right down to the people and the light – everything. All I know is that I didn't want to leave, and that I would be back. Most of all, I remember the feeling of completely being at peace and knowing I was home with family. I know that people that I tell this to – well, some believe me and some don't, but all I know is – it did happen.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Never!!!