I had been diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy in August of 1995. I continued to deteriorate slowly over time. On the morning of March 27, 1998, I complained of feeling like I had the flu and lay down on the sofa.
The next thing I knew I was surrounded by total blackness and felt euphoric and very loved, I heard someone calling my name in the distance. It was the rescue squad calling out to me telling me that they had shocked me three times and unless I showed some response, they would have to stop. I looked around and just saw blackness but I felt I was on a cliff side and KNEW I had to jump across to remain alive. I believed it would be safe to try to jump across, because if I failed I would go back to God. The main reason I wanted to return to life was because of my love for my wife and son. I was totally selfish in that I felt I could not be happy in heaven without them. I jumped and reached out fully to grasp onto anything I could.
The next thing I knew I awoke in intensive care about a week later in the presence of my wife. I asked my wife what happened and she said the rescue squad had shocked me three times without a response from me at that point they called out to me asking for a sign of life from me. She said they saw my hands move. Based on the movement they shocked me a fourth time. The rescue unit said this was unusual and normally they quit after the third try. About two years later, I received a phone call from the rescue squad inquiring about my outcome. The person I spoke with said they had not expected to speak to me because they never had a person recover who had been as sick as I was that morning.
Date NDE Occurred: 3/27/98
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death Heart attack.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Fully aware, although unconscious in human terms.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Anger at being taken from those I loved but in the presence of extreme love.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Lutheran E.C.L.A
What is your religion now? Liberal Same
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was making it back. The worst was the fight to return in intensive care.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have, with my wife and son.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, except I am happy to be back. The nurse at my cardiologist stated to my wife and I that the cardiologists refer to me as the 'miracle man'.