By accident I ended up on your website, never really knowing that one existed for this subject, but not unaware of the term 'NDE'. Having had my own NDE and then reading what your members have experienced or what you say could comprise an NDE, well I was taken quite aback. So much so, I have decided to share my NDE with your group. I have shared this story with others over the years but only after knowing them well. I was always afraid of what others might say or think but after visiting your site, I feel I should share it. In hopes that others may come forward and not hide such a wonderful experience from the world and themselves.
I would be very open to any kind of verification at least to some of the things I have written here, up to and including hypnosis. Something I have always wanted to do, but don't seem to make the time. Suggestions with that in mind are truly welcomed. If you know of a good hypnotist that does these kinds of things, please send me their contact info. I still live in the Los Angeles area.
I was seventeen years old and had completed a scuba diving program back in 1972 and had been diving with a couple of High School friends on a not to regular basis. The beach we dove at was located in Corona Del Mar, California. That day as I left to go diving my mother was really worried as she asked me not to go diving and in fact asked me to give up the whole hobby. Of course being seventeen makes you immortal so I just said, 'OK, Mom don't worry.' Our dive began like all the other ones, we were cautious didn't really dive in more than twenty to sixty feet of water and there was always three of us, Richard, Ricky and me.
I noticed that my primary oxygen had failed since I could not suck any air out of my regulator. I struggled with it but gave up. It wasn't an issue since we were in about forty feet of water and I had my air reserve valve. I pulled on the wire that led to the reserve took a big hit of air and on my second breath no air, my reserve had failed. Actually, I couldn't tell you today if it was the air or the regulator that had malfunctioned. By no means was I an expert scuba diver then or now. Because of the problem with the primary air supply, I had fallen back behind Richard and Ricky so now I began to become afraid. I had already let the air go from my lungs so I had no air now and a free ascent without any air in my lungs didn't look like a good option. This free ascent thing was my weakest point in my diving certification, which was duly noted in my final exam.
I tried to get Richard and Ricky's attention but they didn't respond to me. The truth be told. We had all been fooling around with each other and so they must have thought I was trying to get them near for another round of slapping each other's mask off. I gave them the underwater sign for 'out of air' they responded with their middle fingers and I just floated there helplessly hoping they would come over and give me some air. They didn't come and now I was just focusing on trying to keep my regulator in my mouth before losing my consciousness. I could tell the moment of blacking out was quickly approaching and I started to get really worried and afraid that this was it for me at the young age of seventeen, with so much yet to live for. Now I was really scared and I thought about how disappointed my parents would be especially my mom. She never liked the whole scuba diving thing and on this day actually gave me some grief about diving. Over the years, I come to understand and respect the very close psychic bond I have with my mother.
Just before I blacked out, I remember how afraid and worried I was but just milliseconds before I did black out this feeling of euphoria came over me. I felt no fear, no pain, nothing, I actually felt happy and free it was really weird. Then I am above the beach looking down at the area where our gear was, our ice chest, and personal belongings. I could look out onto the water and see our diving buoy out there beyond the breakers. I knew Richard and Ricky were still underwater. I felt very much alive and very much intact. The only thing missing was my diving equipment, which immediately led me to worry because we rented it and we had to pay for it if something went wrong. But every time I worried about anything this calmness would take over and then I would become worry free. To this day, I hate heights so my attention immediately went from losing my diving gear to how I was able to fly and float. Once again that calmness took over, the same calmness that I felt just before I lost my consciousness.
I started to look around and I noticed that I was moving in a northwest direction and now I really began to pay very strict attention to what was happening to me. I couldn't tell you if I were whole or spirit or anything like that. I felt whole and with my physical body, I had on my diving watch. I actually began to notice that I could control my movement in flight and actually stop myself when I concentrated on stopping. If I stayed, stopped too long, I would begin to vibrate really badly. With my fear of heights, well I thought I would fall out of the sky. When I stopped concentrating on being stopped I would again begin to move as if someone or something were in charge. I felt carefree and worry free but to a very extreme degree. Every time I got scared, it was immediately replaced by total happiness it was an awesome feeling.
I noticed that the direction I was traveling in would eventually take me back to my city. I remember clearly floating over Disneyland and the Knott's Berry Farm it was very strange. I had the distinct feeling I was being guided by an unseen force. I could not see anyone just the ground and the sky to the horizon. I decided to measure the amount of distance I traveled by measuring the distance with my eyes between features on the ground. Then use my watch to time the distances traveled by the second hand on my watch. I don't know why I did this I remember the feeling just came to me and it seem like a practical thing to do considering what was happening. Of course, this would have been a very imprecise measurement but it just seemed to be the thing to do.
Well it didn't take long for me to realize that I couldn't really eye-ball the ground accurately for distance measurements so I became frustrated over time with the process. However, before I gave up on the project I did observe and intuitively (I could really feel it inside, very strong feeling) concluded the following. At one point, I noticed just by luck that while I was trying to eye-ball distances by looking at ground features and timing them with my watch. I noticed that my watch always remained the same ticking off seconds, linear. But the distance on the ground did not remain constant it varied from un-equal distances some repeating some not repeating my speed was not linear it varied but my watch did not. So that deep intuition that seemed to be with me throughout this whole experience led me to believe something was really wrong.
I tried to be scared but I couldn't, it just wouldn't take hold, and I wasn't very surprised when I entered the city I live in from the southeast - after all this was the heading I had been on since I left the beach. I finally ended up floating above my home, wanting so very bad to just drop down and walk in, but I couldn't. I did stop myself since I had been practicing that since I began the journey. There I was floating above my home. I could feel my mother's presence in the kitchen I could sense exactly where she stood. I could sense she had become overwhelmed with grief and was very worried about something but I could not figure out why. I began to vibrate again and for fear of falling out of the sky and through the roof of my house I relaxed and once again, I began moving.
I now observed that my course from the beach changed from a northwest direction to a more northerly direction and just a tad east. I had been paying very close attention to this entire experience, feeling it, observing it making sure I remember the details that I have shared here. I took one look at the new direction and I could see Rose Hill Cemetery in Whittier, California since I was airborne I instinctively felt that I would be crossing over the cemetery if I remained on this new course heading. I soon entered the cemetery from the south. I was surprised when I was stopped by some unseen force. Until then, all the stops had been initiated by me when I concentrated on stopping. At least that is how I felt about it, again with a very strong intuition that I was correct in these thoughts and assumptions.
As I looked down, I could clearly see that I was above my family's burial plots which were already occupied by my late grandfather and great grandmother. There were other burial plots that were empty but also belonged to my family.
Out of nowhere a voice said to me, 'What do you think about what is going on down there?' Out on the horizon just in front of me was this man, just his head appeared. He looked Hispanic with this giant mustache, he spoke to me, and I could see his mouth move. He was fading in and out of visibility sometimes transparent, then semitransparent, then almost solid but never really solid. I had the intuition that he was the one guiding me and protecting from falling out of the sky on my journey from the beach. Then to my house and then to the cemetery. I have over the years come to call him 'The Guide'. He once again said, 'What do you think about what is going on down there?' So I looked down again and I didn't expect to see anything new. Since I had been looking down at the family graves for what I thought was a long time anyway. Before the 'The Guide' appeared and started talking to me.
When I looked this time there was a funeral going on down there. But this funeral below wasn't there a second ago and that I knew that for sure. I was too high in the sky to really make out what was going on down below me. I knew it was a funeral because I could see the casket but I could not make out any people. It was the first time I had seen people on the ground during the whole journey. I turned to The Guide and said, 'Can you get me any closer so I can see the people better?' He kindly responded with 'No.' Which forced me to look back down and try to figure this out by myself. I clearly remember focusing on the people standing closest to the casket when a woman who was being held by a man breaks loose of his grip. She literally threw herself onto the casket and in English and Spanish said the kinds of things a mother would say when her only son dies at the age of seventeen. The whole experience now became so very somber so very real. I tried to be really disappointed, in shock but I just couldn't get sad or worried which helped me tremendously, as I would have freaked out if I could. But I couldn't. I looked at The Guide and said, 'That is my funeral isn't it?' He responded with, 'Yes.' I looked down again and now I could see my friends and the cars of those times. Many friends where there, my mom and dad where near my casket. My little sister and her boyfriend also stood near my casket. My girlfriend who I would later marry was also standing close by. If I could have become depressed, I would have but I could not feel any misery, hate, pain, fear nothing everything was just okay no matter what I saw or felt. If we could all feel like that in this world, it would be a very special world.
The Guide then said to me, 'You have to decide if you want to go or come with us.' But I was too busy trying to feel sometime about my own funeral and I couldn't feel anything. The Guide once again said, 'You have to decide if you want to go or come with us.' Not being able to feel any fear or anything didn't prevent me from being snippy with The Guide so I said to him, 'You have said that twice now. You have used the word US twice and it is just you and me here. What do mean when you say US?' I said in a snippy voice.
At that exact second, a land appears behind The Guide, a beautiful land like no other I have ever seen in my life. I have traveled to many places here on earth but have yet to find a place where the plants and trees glowed like they did in this place. It was like a beautiful tropical jungle I could see birds flying with three distinctly separated tails not like the birds I had seen here on earth. I could see plants and trees that made no sense to me. It was so beautiful so peaceful and very bright, everything was bright and alive. By now, I was beginning to understand what is going on here. I know now it isn't anything earthly that I am looking at or for that, matter experiencing. I began to make observations once again.
I notice that the second this land appears it was separated by a deep canyon - The Guide and I were on one side and this tropical paradise was on the other side. To the degree I could get worried, I was concerned that I could feel this place calling my cells to cross the canyon. Actually, it felt more like my atoms were being pulled or attracted to this place. Instinct told me if I crossed the crevasse I could not come back. Yet this place called my every being. I wanted to go there very badly but I knew if I did I couldn't come back. I thought of how this would affect my sister, my parents, my girlfriend and my friends if I chose to cross. I thought about never being a father or having children. I was only seventeen and I wanted to experience more of life. So I continue to concentrate on not letting one single atom or cell cross the divide that was before me. Yet I had this uneasy feeling that I belonged there, that I originated from there. That this place was my home and that everything came from there, seen and unseen. I really wanted to be there, go there, but I knew there were consequences if I crossed the divide. My intuition during this entire experience was my only guide and yet I always felt that I had been there before anyway.
The Guide said it again, 'You have to decide if you want to go or come with us.' I looked at him and I said, 'Why do you keep saying US it is just the two of us here?' At that second from behind this magnificent land, a man walks down from the sky as if there were invisible stairs. I could see him taking steps downward but he never really touched the ground, he seemed to float and never really came in contact with what I would have perceived to be the floor or ground. His movement in this way appeared to me as being not very natural, and I notice that unlike my guide he was solid, I could not see through him.
While I struggled throughout this experience to fully understand it, figure things out which I did very slowly. It didn't take me very long to figure out who just walked down from the sky. It was Jesus Christ. (Which, these days I call the 'Divinity Figure', trying to keep it non-denominational). Well I knew it was because I just knew it, he looked 'somewhat' like all the pictures I had seen on earth of him but then not exactly like all the pictures. It is a pretty awesome feeling to be looking right at Jesus Christ the Son of God, as he is known here on earth. He was dressed in this long robe, which was blue; he was a slender man (being) much more handsome than ever depicted in his pictures on earth. His hair was a loose curly golden blonde-haired person kind of long but not too long. Just one look at him and you felt like he was your family, your father. My cells and atoms wanted to fly right over there and hug him but I knew if I crossed that canyon it would be a pretty permanent journey. My instincts were what prevented me from crossing the canyon, intuitively I knew what would happen if I crossed. I wanted to keep my options open if there was any such thing.
Many times over the last thirty-three years I have thought, if I had the chance again I would jump at it. So many times I have thought - why didn't you go for it - dude you missed the journey of a lifetime.
It is hard to describe but it seemed like we just looked at each for what seemed to be hours. The first second I saw him I knew he knew everything about me, my past, my present, my future. I had the feeling of being worthless or maybe better said mundane. I could feel and sense there was nothing I could say to this being that he didn't already know. I could feel him inside my head, I could feel his thought just slightly ahead of everything I was feeling and thinking. I REALLY wanted to go with him but I was already planning my excuses not to go. I felt bad because I could feel him in my head and I could feel I could not deceive this being in any way or in any thought. It was just like they said on earth. He was all knowing, all seeing and you could feel it. But he seemed so very relaxed very forgiving as well, I had many feelings while we just stood there looking at each other.
Jesus then said to me, 'You must decide if you're coming with us or would like to go back.' It was then I realized the most amazing thing in my entire life - he was speaking directly into my head and his lips never ever moved. I could feel it coming out of his head and into mine; my ears were never used when I communicated with him. It was simply amazing that I was communicating with this being in a telepathic conversation. It blew me away and it made me feel so different and so special all at the same time. It seemed very natural to me for some strange reason and I thought about why I couldn't do this in my old world. I could distinctly feel he knew what I was going to say before I even though of saying it. I attempted to talk with Jesus telepathically but my efforts were comical at best. My mouth always moved, sounds came out of it, but I had a good idea of the concept. Which up to that point for me was something humans are not capable of doing, I still felt very much human. I just thought of good reasons why I didn't want to go with them and why I preferred to go back, while being very respectful and trying not to hurt anyone's feelings. I was surprised when he said to me, 'I knew you would make that decision.'
He didn't make any further comments, he just nodded his head in agreement and smiled at me. I instinctive just floated there waiting to be sent back. Jesus spoke to me again, in my head, not through my ears. He said, 'I have work to do through you one day.' I thought back to him, 'Any time, I will do anything you ask.' He said, 'You will have a long life.' I thought back, 'Thank You.' As he turned away again, I notice he didn't seem to touch the ground. Boom there I was back in the water with Richard and Ricky so close with these looks of extreme fear in their faces. That gave me the chance to rip their regulators out of their mouths and breath and breath and breath.
We then began to all share the air and start upward to the surface. Once on the beach I just lay there blown away by what had happened, in total disbelief of what I had just experienced. Very emotionally moved, yet calm, and feeling pretty lucky that I was back in this world. I asked Richard and Ricky what had happened and they told me. They had turned around to come back for me since I had falling behind them a little too far. Once they came back to me, they said I started to change colors I went from a light brown to a blue then a deep blue and then a dull gray. I just floated there in the water while I was this pale grey lifeless person. They told me they were afraid to touch me or move me. They said that after what appeared to be five to ten minutes, at least to them, they noticed that my colors began to change again. They said I went from pale grey back to dark blue, and then pale blue and then I was light brown again. They looked petrified with fear when I looked into their masks. That is when I seized their regulators.
Once on the beach both of them kept demanding an explanation from me, they could sense something had happened to me. But I wasn't in the mood to talk about it because I couldn't believe it myself. I was trying to figure it out and I wasn't doing very well with it. I asked Richard to drive us home we had come in my car that day. We usually dove early so we had the rest of the day when we were done. We returned the diving equipment we rented and we were soon on the freeway. Once again the questioning started, 'What happened to you?' 'Something happen to you, tell us what happened to you?' I could barely sit up in the front passenger's seat, I felt weak and tired, I felt very strange. I finally told Richard and Ricky that something did happen to me but that I wasn't really sure how to explain it to them. I told them they wouldn't believe me if I told them what had happened.
Date NDE Occurred: Early Fall of 1972
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident Scuba diving accident Other Blacked out in 40 feet of water during a weekend scuba dive.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My intuition to me was so precise so dead on that I used it entirely for feedback. Especially when I just didn't know what to do. Unlike right now I would be skeptical if it told me I was here before. But in this other world it was in fact absolutely accurate and I obeyed it without a second thought.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I left my body. I know today that the minute I left my body I was in a higher state of consciousness.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning When I first left my body I had my diving watch on. I took some very unscientific measurements of the distance I traveled by watching the ground for features and measuring them by the second hand on my watch. Totally unscientific. But my conclusion was and has always been. I was measuring time in an altered time. The ground never moved in a linear fashion the distances were erratic at best. The distances were always changing sometime repeating and then instantly become longer or short than the previous distance. Yet my watch was always ticking without change. My intuition and impression were that I was in a different time zone. One where my earthy watch was of no use or inept at making any measurement or reflecting time.
Also without mistake, I would say this whole thing took an hour or more. It seemed to me that I was in the NDE for a very long time. But when I asked my diving partners how long had I been unconscious they estimated five to ten minutes. Thus I had another reason to support why my diving watch didn't seem to measure the time in my NDE.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I saw transparent entities and solid ones. My eyes were subjected to beautiful colors that seem to glow or irradiate from trees and plants, the ground, the rocks, the birds all seem to glow bright with intense color and clarity. Depth perception seemed enhanced as well.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes A guide appeared to me and he was fading in and out of reality, he would be transparent then somewhat-transparent. I could always see through him no matter what state he was in. There was always a spot where I could see through him. I thought I felt I knew him but I never recognized him for someone I had ever known but I had a strong feeling he knew me and protected me. He spoke to me many times but he used his mouth and I heard him in my ears.
Jesus Christ or some being representing himself as Jesus. Jesus seemed to float never really touch the ground. He was solid all the time. He could read my mind. He spoke to me and his mouth didn't move. He spoke into my head I never heard a single word he said in my ears. Our communications were strictly telepathic. I recognized him as Jesus Christ. Our exact communications are in my NDE story.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes a beautiful highly colorful very bright tropical jungle. With trees and plants and rocks and birds. But I was just seing it from the other side of this deep canyon that seperated me and the guide. Jesus stood in this land on the other side of the deep canyon.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? The lack of all the emotions one would think they feel when you die. I felt no pain, no worry, no harm, no fear, it is IMPOSSIBLE!!! To feel any bad emotions in this world. At least that is how it felt to me. You could feel great emotions of peace, belonging, eternity the feeling you have lived and would live forever. You felt, I felt one with the universe - corny but TRUE.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes A very deep canyon appeared; my guide and I were on one side. The beautiful land and Jesus were on the other. ABSOLUTE SENSE - If I crossed it I would not exist on earth and that I would become part of the beautiful land.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Attended Catholic school from 4th grade to 7th grade. Always considered myself Catholic. Certainly at the time of my NDE.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I find it hard to believe that we can worship so many God's as a function of so many religions. Some of which do and do not believe in Jesus. It is a joke that we have so many interpretations. The whole thing is out of focus. Yes, my beliefs have changed - I believe now that soul of life energy has existed and will exist until eternity. It has always been this way and it will always be this way. We cannot die, just live our lives in different ways than the way we experience life here on earth.
What is your religion now? Liberal My religious views and concepts have changed drastically since my NDE and continue to evolve. Today I think the term would be spiritual or new age.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I find it hard to believe that we can worship so many God's as a function of so many religions. Some of which do and do not believe in Jesus. It is a joke that we have so many interpretations. The whole thing is out of focus. Yes, my beliefs have changed - I believe now that soul of life energy has existed and will exist until eternity. It has always been this way and it will always be this way. We cannot die, just live our lives in different ways than the way we experience life here on earth.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Only the knowledge given to me by Jesus that I would live long and he would use me in some sort of work he needed done. But if it counts, I knew that when I saw the beautiful land that I had been there before that I came from that place. I knew that place was truly my home. I also knew instinctively if I crossed the canyon I would cease to exist on earth.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No I can still remember it very clearly, everything about it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A protection by an unseen force field which saved my life twice in car accidents. I have seen future events that would be life threatening to me and I have avoided them. Once when driving home from work I wanted to pass a semi-truck. But as I began to pass, I saw the trucks front right tire just come off. Then hit my car causing me to crash into a tall block wall. It stopped me from passing, but I remained behind the truck. Finally, I just went for it and passed the truck with no problem. I then heard a big loud noise. I looked in my rear view mirror to watch the truck's right front tire come of and roll right down the lane I passed on. It then jumped the curb and hit a block wall. Just the way I saw it. I then thanked God.
I have had strange things happen to me before my NDE as well.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No. I have covered it all already.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Varied - I have shared with others when I felt it was appropriate. Many just look in disbelief. Others site Biblical things that they feel supports the story. Don't know if they were influenced. I began sharing my experience shortly after it happened to very close friends and family. Richard became a doctor so I shared it with him before he left for medical school and again after a close high school friend died. Today I share with other new age or spiritual types and my decision to share it with you. Makes me feel good inside, I have never 'gone public' if you will with it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I think I had heard of them in the 1960's and 1970's. I am scientific at heart. But I dismissed what I read about them as pure bunk. They were of the light comes to get you variety if I remember correctly. Didn't really believe them, plus 'Omni' magazine back in that period before my NDE. Wrote an article saying doctors and shrinks etc. believed it was a chemical response, may be even built into our DNA, that was there to help us when we died. Because death was final etc. This chemical response is triggered when we start dying. But I had a very different thought after my own NDE. 'Omni' today could not account for those killed instantly who come back. I would think the human organism doesn't have time to respond with a chemical response in instant death. Maybe that's why their magazine is no longer published.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I have gone over it a billon times forward and backwards. Frankly, some days it doesn't seem real and some days it does. Sometimes it sounds too good to be true. But what happened to me on that beach that day was very real then and I cannot escape that feeling no matter how hard try. I sent it to you because now I want to verify things I have written about. It seemed very real to me but I am a big skeptic sometimes so I search for verification when I have the time. Besides, it supports me being protected from death type injuries as Jesus implied. It supports that after fifty years of living I have no surgeries. I believe the NDE supports life after death in a much different format. As I get older now I choose more that not to believe it myself. Because sometimes even to me I find it hard to believe too.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Never.