It was before the Easter weekend of 2009, I felt very tired, I had like punctures in my heart and the chest, and I heard something like water flowing in my body (very strange sensation). I was short of breath and had to sleep almost in a sitting position, it was impossible for me to lie down. So, I decided to contact my doctor, but it was impossible for him to take me before 48 hours. Considering my condition, I got an appointment with a country doctor who took me immediately, her diagnosis: gastric flu. She prescribed acetaminophen, despite a vasovagal episode, [brief loss of consciousness], at her practice she told me to come back if it became worse.
My condition got much worse. I was sleeping in a sitting position that made it impossible to lie down without cutting my breathing. I heard something like water gurgling in my throat; the pain in the chest was so violent, that it didn't let me sleep for at least two days. So, I took 1 gram of acetaminophen every 2 hours, which made me fall into a heavy sleep for about 45 minutes. After this very long weekend, a funny feeling overwhelmed me. I felt death and I knew that I had to react. I told my ex-partner that it was time to prepare; it was time that I got to the hospital.
I decided to go again to see my country doctor. Upon my arrival her face froze, she understood the seriousness of my condition and asked me if I could go immediately to the emergency of the nearest hospital at Gray. Upon arrival at the hospital, they took care of me, immediately: major respiratory distress, only 5% of pulmonary capacity. I was placed on oxygen after receiving x-rays of the lungs. Again, I had a terrible night because of the pain. Then I was finally transferred to the hospital center of the University. At my arrival there, my condition was even worse, so I found myself in the intensive care unit.
After several tests and ultrasound of the heart, there had to be urgent surgery of the pericardium. The doctor present at my examination told me in what condition my heart was, as per the ultrasound test. We were in front of a large black mass with a small white point and then he said, 'You see the black mass, that's a water pouch surrounding your heart, and the small white dot is your heart, so there is high urgency to operate on you '. It was also at that moment that he was astonished, that the country doctor could diagnose gastric flu, while my heartbeats were almost inaudible. He finished telling me not to worry, as this is a simple and benign intervention, that by chance they had a great cardiologist on hand, and that he would take care of me.
Following all this, I was taken to the surgical unit around 2200 pm. Just before my arrival the surgeon was already there, he was waiting for me. He introduced himself and explained to me, that he would remove some of the water that was compressing my heart. He reassured me and asked me not to be scared. At that moment, I wasn't scared. I just had, again, a strange feeling and was aware of death. Inside the surgery unit, everybody was busy around me, to change me from my bed and thus from my sitting position to the surgery table. There the anesthetist was trying to get me to lie down and not to struggle to remain sitting, but to get down flat on the table. There I had those words that still resonate in my head, 'If I lay down I will die.' He looked reassuringly at me. Well I do it and the more I was getting down, the less I was able to breathe. I still had this horrible pain in my chest, finally I was completely elongated on the table and there.
Suddenly, my vision went white and by whatever miracle, no pain anymore. I found myself in a completely white environment, very bright, of an extreme intensity, quasi indescribable. I didn't see with my eyes anymore. All was white but I was aware that I was sitting, again, on this surgery table, in this unit, in this hospital. I was astonished. Then I had the intention of moving and to look at my hands, and there, very strange, I felt the stream of air passing between my fingers. I felt that my arms were moving but I didn't see them as you see them with your eyes, but I was aware of those movements in the position and place where I was. Everything was white around me in a serene atmosphere, and there, without any hesitation, I became aware that I had just died.
Immediately after this, I felt moving at hallucinatory speed, circling in the room, making ever-bigger circles. I found myself in a room at the right side of the unit, probably the rest room of the surgeons. There I saw a table with lunch (chicken leftovers) with bottles of good quality wine, and wrappings from a caterer. All this amused me and I even thought that the doctors didn't let themselves down, and that they were able to have good lunches at their workplace. At the moment of the experience, I was well aware where I was, I felt a well-being that I had never known before, I felt light, and my pain that made me suffer for several days: GONE. There was only happiness I didn't feel any fear about this situation, I felt free and decided to have fun with this, I had this strange sensation of being able to be everywhere at the same time.
I had the sensation to be universal energy. For me the universal energy is the energy that animates every living creature on earth, for a better understanding: imagine two levels, the first level is on earth where we are now and the second one you have to imagine above our heads. Much like an immense ocean of energy, that is filling us more or less, depending on the physical capacity of everybody. For example: I need a strong visual correction, nevertheless, as soon as I left my body, I could see instantly what I wanted to see, and the same was for hearing and all other human senses.
Same as, I suddenly wanted to see if the sun was shining on the Maya temples in Mexico, I didn't have time to finish formulating my wish, when I was at the foot of a pyramid, excited to see that the sun really was shining on this Maya site, it was very beautiful. I hardly had time to observe a butterfly that, at my arrival, was flying away. Then I returned in full speed into this light, there I met my paternal grandfather who died in 1984. He was my guide during my experience. I told him that I was happy for not feeling myself so narrow in my body. I was no more frustrated, not hating, not in jealousy, meaning all those earthly human feelings, he explained to me that it was not the moment for me to be there, and that I had to make a return back to earth into that body. Indeed, being in this state is a big liberation; one is experiencing sensations that are difficult to verbalize.
I had the feeling I understood the universe and at the same time being the universe. I had more questions because as soon as a question passes into my mind, I had the answer. There is no reason to be jealous or envious of anybody, as you are in a total well-being. It was there that I became aware, that we are all part of this power, this energy, and that nobody is more important than somebody else is. I got the awareness that every living thing on earth was ONE, so it is unity in this energy. We, human beings, animals, plants, minerals, all are equal as we all are this energy.
On the other hand, during my experience, I have no memory of being in contact with animals. Concerning plants, I had a strange contact: following the words that my grandfather had told me about the fact that my children still needed me, I decided to visit them at home. I arrived in the garden through the roots of a tomato plant, I could see its molecules, its health condition that seemed perfect to me; I saw the flowers to be and fruits, and if this had not been the case, I had the impression of being able to improve its condition in order to obtain beautiful fruits.
I then found myself in the house. My family, my mother, my children and their mother were sitting at the table, they were very anxious about my condition. They were looking for a key that I had been putting away in a small piece of furniture in the kitchen. At that moment, I found myself set back from the scene, I indicated to them the exact location of the key, but nobody could hear me. Then I found myself again in the light with my grandfather who made me aware of the suffering of my children.
I had to do a second displacement. I found myself in the practice of my doctor. My mother was in the middle of the corridor, she was talking to the doctor, she was treating him as a bungler, and if I was in hospital between life and death, it was his fault. This scene happened in front of the dumb-founded eyes of his secretary. I myself was behind my mother, and told her repeatedly that it was not his fault, but she didn't hear it.
Again back with my grandfather, I found myself sitting by a table with a council in the company of several deceased persons of my family, which I still have difficulties to identify. My grandfather led this council. There I was shown my past life, I had access to the purpose of my life. This council was organized only with the goal to come back to earth, something that, at that time, I didn't consider at all. Then they started to show me the life of my children without me and they showed me the life that I would be living when coming back to earth. My children would be happier, professional lives, more in accordance with myself, a craftsman trade, creative, and independent. After this, they finally convinced me of a necessary return, for the following experience and the well-being of my children.
Then I felt, again, being on this surgery table, overwhelmed by an unprecedented pain in my chest. I had to inhabit my body again, much too narrow in comparison to the space I was occupying. I was everything and once again in my too small body with this unbearable pain. I came to after four days of coma. I tried to tell my story immediately, but unfortunately, none of the medical personal wanted to listen. Just my partner was able to listen, thanks to this, I still have partial traces of what I experienced, as over the hours my memory of this event was fading and I'm convinced that I lost much information and details. Nevertheless, I'm happy having had this experience and to share it today with you.
Date NDE Occurred: 16 avril 2009
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
My experience happened after a surgery on pericardium and pneumopathy, a pouch of water had formed around my heart which was strongly compressed, as this pouch contained several liters of fluid, it gave way during surgery, with the effect to strongly disrupt blood pressure. Direct consequences were more than 22 heart stops within 24 hours, after this I was put in the coma. I was taken out of coma 4 days later.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The facts have been checked out.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As already explained above I had the impression to be and to understand everything, no question anymore as I already had all answers.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was in a state of maximum lucidity from the beginning.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No notion of time anymore. Time is not necessary anymore.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything is tenfold, vision seems infinite, it stops where you want to look at, for example if I want to see a detail in Mexico, and I am in France, I instantly see Mexico.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You can hear everything, everywhere, yet there is no hub-bub, but we can focus on the sounds in which we are interested.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Sincerely, I have no memory of a tunnel, I remember that I circled the surgery unit quite fast, then finding myself with a feeling, like sitting on the operating table in a strong white light, but no tunnel.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes In this light I met my fatherly grandfather (deceased in 1984), he was serving as a guide for me throughout the experience.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm How to explain seeing your own future, your past, having a universal knowledge.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? The sensations felt during the experience have all been, (the whole lot of them), very pleasant, of a serenity that was never felt before. No sadness, but joy and well-being. Incredible joy.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe About the universe, I had the enjoyment to find myself in a state where I had no questions anymore. I had access to all answers about all possible topics. Being in a state when you understand everything about life, the universe, nature, is an enormously pleasant sensation.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My past flashed before me, out of my control I got to see my past life up until the moment of my experience.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I could see scenes of my future during this council that was presided by my grandfather; I got two versions of my future; the one when I was not returning and I saw my children frustrated and sad, and the one when I got back on earth where I decide to quit my job and my lifestyle, for something more suitable to my real personality; I was shown somebody who is independent, creative, artistic, nearest to nature and its values, surrounded by my much happier children. It was this vision that made me decide to come back.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I reached a limit.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will See Experience
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist Au moment de l'expérience, pour moi aucun Dieu n'existait
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain For me there is no God as we all are part of that exceptional universal energy, we stem from a unity, if for some this unity is called God, we are all God. Nobody is more or less important than somebody else.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist Suite à mon expérience, ma non croyance envers un dieu s'est confirmée, en effet je n'ai vu aucune icône religieuse connue, en revanche, durant cette expérience, j'ai été guidé par mon grand père paternel décédé 30 ans auparavant.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience totalement conforme Pour moi, l'idée que la vie ne s'arrête pas à la mort s'est confirmée et que nous nous réincarnons, l'évolution de l'Homme dépend de ces cycles de vie (Einstein, Mozart,) et j'ai eu le bonheur de revoir des ancêtres et le fait que j'étais athé se confirme puisque comme cité auparavant nous sommes tous une énergie.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My values today are spiritual ones, a refocusing that was needed in order to get myself back on my way, of which I had moved away.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin See Experience Description
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes oui, voir 33
Pour moi aucun dieu n'existe puisque nous faisons tous partie de cette exceptionnelle énergie universelle, nous sommes issus d'une unité, si pour certains cette unité s'appelle Dieu, nous sommes tous Dieu.Il n'y a personne plus ou moins impo
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Pour moi aucun dieu n'existe puisque nous faisons tous partie de cette exceptionnelle énergie universelle, nous sommes issus d'une unité, si pour certains cette unité s'appelle Dieu, nous sommes tous Dieu.Il n'y a personne plus ou moins importante qu'une autre.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God does not exist
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was able to understand the functioning of molecules, of the DNA sequence and I had the impression to be able to adjust a problem in working on DNA (example: the tomato plants). We all have a purpose in our earthly lives, they are things that we decided before our arrival on earth and that fade from our memory with our first breath. For example, all along your life, the universe will put you in front of situations that you have to manage with the most possible wisdom, all this to allow you to be on your life's path.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Nous avons tous un but dans notre vie terrestre, ce sont des choses que nous avons décidées avant notre arrivée sur terre et qui s'efface de notre mémoire dès notre premier souffle pour exemple, tout au long de votre vie, l'univers vous placera devant des
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes l'existence persiste après la mort sous une forme totalement différente qui n'est plus physique mais énergétique ( c'est le seul mot que je peux trouver pour exprimer cet état)
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes sur le principe que nous avons décidé de notre vie, chaque événement qui se présente à nous dans cette vie terrestre qu'il soit positif ou négatif, doit être vécu de la manière la plus serein, la plus juste et être dans l'acceptation afin d'élever notre âme, tous ces évènements (maladie, deuil, divorce etc..) une fois surmontés dans la sagesse , nos vies futures s'en retrouvent débarrassées jusqu'à devenir un grand sage qui nous enseignent toutes ces choses oubliées et nous avons aussi le choix de ne plus se réincarner et de rester dans cette énergie
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes ou_i idem 36
Nous avons tous un but dans notre vie terrestre, ce sont des choses que nous avons décidées avant notre arrivée sur terre et qui s'efface de notre mémoire dès notre premier souffle pour exemple, tout au long de votre vie, l'univers vous pla
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Very important for me; before my experience my spiritual and religious life was quasi at zero, I was much too anchored in material life, profession, social status, gain of money at the expense of my health, my family life, then I Large changes in my life. Very important for me; before my experience my spiritual and religious life was quasi at zero, I was much too anchored in material life, profession, social status, gain of money at the expense of my health, my family life, then I grew away from all those chains and am living much more in accordance with myself and in serenity.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My human contacts changed, I'm more open for others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience had been difficult to explain with words, for the good reason that it is a unique experience and that the sensations are not known, they are not physical: it is indeed difficult to explain that. For example, I was everything and everywhere, that I was universal energy, so this sensation is no more physical and is closer to thought or to a dream, also the fact having an answer before even formulating a question, being aware of everything, having an answer for everything, how to describe all this exactly. Indeed very difficult, it needs great reflection.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes An enhanced feeling of pain and ill-being of others, as if they were mine, which gave me much stress and anguish. Following this, I met an energetic specialist who explained to me that following my experience, an energetic channel that is closed with most people, remained open with me, which is giving me better access to energy. After a fast initiation from her, I became a magnetizer to make the best use of this energy for the people. It has happened to me to have several psychic experiences and I'm practicing automatic writing.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'm happy that I could see my grandfather again and I wished everybody could have this experience of death, in order to feel better in life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes With my ex-partner, after 4 days, no special reaction, but she was listening.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My knowledge about NDE came from a TV program, in my bookcase I have the book 'life after life' from R. Moody, but I never read it. No I don't think having been influenced by the knowledge of this.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It’s difficult for me to explain this sensation but the events that I got to experience have been verified: words, behavior.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It is completely real, unchanged.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I clearly left my body and existed outside it.
On the principle that we decided our life, each event presented to us in this earthly life, (be it positive or negative), should be lived in the most serene way, the most righteous, and being in acceptation in order to elevate our soul; all those events (illness, mourning, divorce) once overcome in wisdom, our future lives will be freed of them until becoming a great, wise person, as they are teaching us all those forgotten things and then we all can choose not to reincarnate anymore and remain in this energy. I remember the experience better. Events experienced apart from this experience are swept away from my memory.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? A bit too long and redundant, many questions are calling the same answers, but thank you for your interest in our experiences.