I was probably about eight months pregnant. At some point the night before I went to the doctor, I had what I called a never-ending contraction - my stomach grew very hard and would not relax. I called my obstetrician and he advised me to take a little paregoric, which I did. It never got better. That next morning my husband took me to my doctor's office, he, and his partner both examined me and told my husband that the baby was probably dead and we needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. My husband took me in the car and they were waiting for me and immediately took me to the delivery room.
I think this must have been somewhere around 10:30 am. I am not really clear on the time. I was in the delivery room until really late that same night.
My husband told me later that I was bleeding to death and the hospital only had one bottle of coagulant; therefore, Highway Patrol, etc., were sending their supply from Mississippi and other places that I do not remember. I know that several bottles were air-lifted out of Atlanta, Georgia. All of this was told to me. At this point, I do not remember any of this.
What I do remember is that all of a sudden I was floating above my body and looking at myself thinking I don't want to go back there. I remember as I floated upward many tiny lights that twinkled all around me and I was just 'out in space'. I was not afraid or anything like that. Looking back now, I did not even question anything. All of a sudden, I was in the most beautiful place that I have ever seen (and still have not seen). I was looking down into a beautiful 'stream' of flowing water - the water was a blue that I have never seen before, it was coming down off of a small little cliff and the water, when it hit, sounded like my fine crystal when you 'ping' it with you fingernail.
It was all so beautiful and as I told someone later, even famous artists could not mix those colors - they were breathtaking. I am deeply afraid of water and as I looked down, I could see that the depth went on forever - no bottom. I knew if I crossed that stream, I would be safe yet I also was still aware of my fear. Everything around me was so full of color - I do not remember any sound except the birds and the sound of the water.
I was about to try and cross this water when all of a sudden I was engulfed with a beautiful warm and bright light somehow like a cloud, but I felt arms around me and the light talked with me. It told me that I would not be able to stay - that I had much work left to do and I had to go back to finish it. I am a very stubborn person so I began to argue with the Light telling it that. I was not going back and I even stomped my foot (however, I don't think I had a foot or anything like that it was more like I was floating). I have always said after this experience that God has a beautiful sense to humor, because when I stomped my foot and said I did not want to go back and I was NOT going back, there was this little chuckle and the light smiled at me and said, 'Oh yes you will,' and of course I did come back.
I tried to sit up so that I could have my temper fit, but my doctor had his head on my chest and he was crying so hard. He had delivered all three of my children and we were quite good friends. I will never forget the look on his face when he raised his head and looked at me - it was utter disbelief. I was still mad because the Light had not let me stay in that beautiful place!
My husband told me later that I had been in the delivery room for over ten hours. I also learned later that not one single nurse OR the lab technician would leave me. Of course, I knew about this much later, but I remember thinking why all of them came later to my room and were just amazed.
I have jumped ahead in the story. I need to tell you about leaving my body and when I looked at myself. I was not the least bit worried - everyone was rushing around. One nurse was crying - it was all so unreal and I did not think it strange.
I still cannot believe all of this myself, but I do know that when my time does come I know where I will be going. I saw no other 'people' or anything like that - only the birds and the stream and the Light. I did not see any relatives.
Of course, our little boy was dead. I will never understand why they would not let me see him. I think it may have been easier, but no matter how I begged, I never got to see him.
I tried to tell different ones there in the delivery about where I had been, but they just told me to rest - don't get excited. I was not excited; I was very calm I just wanted them to know what a beautiful place I had been in.
Date NDE Occurred: Nov of 1967
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Childbirth Other I was pregnant and was delivering my baby - I knew he was dead before I went to the hospital
I must have been near death or my heart must have stopped - I had lost all of the coagulant therefore, blood was streaming from every pore of my body. I could see this as I hovered above my body.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The very moment I looked down at myself and began floating up I don't know how I got out of the hospital - the delivery room was on the third floor - I don't remember any barriers I just remember looking at me feeling a bit of relief and continued up with the little bright lights showing the me the way.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was so clear! Almost like fine tuning a TV set or something.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard every little leaf move, everything was more intensified.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I just went straight up and out of the hospital with the lights all twinkling around me. Oh, I forgot, I thought I was a young girl. My hair was long and beautiful and black as night when I was young - so this is the way I felt then.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw a lot of little lights and then I was in the Light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I explained all of this above.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I don't really know. I guess mostly I did not hurt anymore I did not feel sad that I had left my family and my wonderful children. I am very family oriented and to this day cannot believe that I did not want to return to my children and my husband This made me feel guilty for quite some time after my return - even months later I felt guilty that I wanted to stay.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist 'Baptist, attended Catholic school in my younger years - still have a lot of
Catholic teachings that will always be with me'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I have always believed in God. I try to help whenever I can.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist Baptist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I have always believed in God. I try to help whenever I can.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I feel more responsible for other people. I try and help whenever I can.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There is no way for me to describe what happened, the colors, the sounds, the warmth of the light, sounds were like crystal to me the water was beautiful. I saw colors that I had never seen before so I could never describe it in my words.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am not sure. I have very strong premonitions - particularly about my children and husband, to this day I seem to know when they need me. This could certainly be my imagination I don't know. Also, strangers. I mean really strangers, will come up to me and talk to me - they tell me their problems - I have never seen these people before, airports, trips to other countries. It is so weird - my children tease me all the time about this. I have never encouraged any of this. I mean PERFECT strangers. I don't blame them; I even doubt it myself. One day, however, my youngest daughter witnessed one of my episodes and her jaw dropped to her chest! She told the other children about it because it was unbelievable that a stranger would confide in me and she saw it all. At last, some confirmation. :-)
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the feeling of peace.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was many years before I shared any of this. I told my family about it, but I never just up and told anyone else. You see, I had this Catholic upbringing and Catholics preached if you were divorced then you would not make it to Heaven. At that time, I was divorced and remarried. I felt that I was not good enough to have had this experience and they would think I was telling tales. So, it was my secret for years until I read '90 Minutes in Heaven'.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just don't try. It happened and I was allowed to come back to finish my work. Therefore, I am constantly wondering if I am doing what HE intended me to do. I have since lost my mother but before she died, I was able to be with her every day. She was a beautiful and lovely person - I still miss her.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I can't explain it. I just know what happened to me and I know that I was not dreaming. How can you dream in colors that you have never seen? How can you imagine sounds that do not exist on this earth? I would not argue with anyone that would not believe me; that is not important. I know what I know and I will never forget it. To this day, I can be still and quiet and I can relive this beautiful experience and keep it close to me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Only that it is a relief to know that others have experienced what I have. For years I never said much but now I feel that I won't be looked on as a 'nut'.