I was on the emergency room stretcher. Maybe it was 10 or 11 pm. I was cold and I had a nausea that was soaking me, unceasingly. I was intensely tingling in my whole body. Then I felt as if a fluid was going out from my whole skin, as if it had been under pressure and now was leaking as in a steamer. At the same time together with that feeling as if a valve was failing, I heard sounds DIMINISHING, as if I had cotton in my ears. All sounds took to seem 'booming' and getting fainter at once. I was very weak and my nausea and tingling were vanishing with the volume of sounds.
'So, now I am TRULY dying' I thought. I thought also: 'Be as alert as you can Flavio, don't let Oblivion overcome you. Stay connected as hard as you can with all you can perceive'
I was very puzzled by that sound perception that was getting fainter and more booming at once, thudded, just like sometimes it happens in movies and TV series. I thought it was something that could happen only there, instead it seems it is real.
I was nearly recumbent when those sensations begun. In about 6-7 seconds, I was lying down completely. In those seconds I felt fainter and fainter but at the same time those awful sensations given by nausea and tingling were leaving my bones.
As soon as I was fully lying down, perception of sound stopped. My eyes closed and I could not open them again. I could still hear sounds internal to my body for about 5 seconds upon which neither those any longer. The sound of my beating heart ceased too.
Yet I was awake. In the following 2 seconds also my tactile perception of the bed and my body left me.
The last sensation I had was of being in some kind of 'space' connecting my body to the apex of my cranium. I thought: 'This is death indeed! I am going to exit from my fontanel!'.
Then I could feel nothing anymore yet I was awake, conscious, vigil.
All was dark and the sensation of darkness was NOT the one my closed eyes were used to give with the neon lights above my face. It was an authentic
ABSENCE OF COLOR. It was 'black' neither it felt like it was an 'absence of visual perception'.
This lasted a second. Whereupon I felt I was something formless, something plunged into a fog whose color was that of nothingness, that colorless color I mentioned earlier. I felt brave but also a bit scared.
I was ready to defend myself against hostile being, shooting at them with 'fireballs'. I knew I could do it, that the fact I could think it would have made me capable of doing it too. This bolstered my confidence.
I stood in that fog a few more seconds. The after 5 seconds I could FEEL MY BODY AGAIN. This feeling came back very slowly and gradually just as it went.
Also hearing came back gradually. My last ability to be back was that of moving. Also unpleasant sensations came back. Though they were diminished the lasted the whole night until the next morning, until 8.
Date NDE Occurred: 25/06/2015
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Illness. Verso le 18 mi aveva preso una terribile nausea, la più orribile mai vissuta in vita. Alla nausea si. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening.
Around 6pm, I got a terrible nausea, the most awful one I ever experienced. Too nauseated
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Calm, courage and a bit of fear. 'KEEP CALM... and die'.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt more freedom, more capable of doing things but I also felt I hadn't really 'left'. Maybe the fog was exactly the image of the Boundary I hadn't crossed yet. I felt that if I would have been pushed fully and I had consciously crossed that Boundary, I would have seized all the basal force ['Forza Basale' in original] behind all physical forces. I would have felt that exactly like the very texture ['tessuto' in original] of that Boundary. Then I would have been able to move the basal force as I wished, maybe I would have become like Neo in the 'Matrix' movie. I felt this, that beyond that boundary I would have turned limitless. I felt also that I would have stayed limited as long as I did not cross it, as long as they did not 'pull' me to cross it.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Dark. It was a non-color; I could not even tell it was black, not even dark. It wasn't the color that the neon light on top of my closed eyes would have projected to me, or I would have realized it.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No sound. Not even that of the wind. Yet I was aware that my hearing was active, ready to get sound inputs. I had no body, not even one of a subtle kind; therefore, I neither had ears made of subtle energy, yet I was aware of my hearing capabilities as active. It was receiving just the sound of silence, of that silence, much different from the silence in a crypt where you can appreciate a background 'hum'. I couldn't hear even that.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place A dark fog, a space as a boundary, a 'Threshold'. I was aware I had no body, and therefore eyes, neither and yet I was aware I had an active visual capabilities at that moment, in fact I was receiving visual information from that dark fog that was not even the black color.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I could not hear but I FELT the presence of other beings.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain It was a dark fog but it wasn't physical.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- New age Credevo nel Cristo ma anche nella reincarnazione. Accoglievo in me il messaggio dell'Antroposofia.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Previously I was very theoretical, now too, but less.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was happy because the unpleasant sensations of my body had vanished, I was happy because I felt I was 'pure consciousness' in a 'boundary space'. I was happy I could prove to myself I could defend myself but I was unhappy at the idea that maybe I was wrong and I would have received pain.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Non ci ho fatto caso tuttavia mi atteggiavo come se esistevo già da prima di nascere. Comunque sì, sentivo di esistere prima di nascere.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt the presence of beings that were connected with each other (and I felt I could shoot 'fireballs' at them because I could think it).
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I felt the presence of God but it was very peculiar. I could feel but not feel Him at once. I felt also the presence of innumerable other beings.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt I was pure consciousness and that if I would have crossed CONSCIOUSLY, that Boundary, I would have been able to do anything because I would have seized the Basal Force by PERCEIVING it. Therefore I would have been able to come back to my body too and turn it into something at my will by thinking (without needing a metabolism any longer) because my thought could do anything, could overcome any physical law made of Basal Force. Surely, I would have removed the wicked from the world, one by one and I would have prevented any external force from stopping me, raising barriers. This was what I felt in THAT moment.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I felt I was without a body. I felt I was pure conscience. I felt I was composed of space, maybe not even that, because I felt I could 'move' in that space, I was as if a space that could move in the space. This was to me evidence of an afterlife. Even if perhaps I wasn't dead, I was at the borderline, I felt and thought this all, at that moment.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I felt it, but I felt hostility too, not from the same direction from whence Love came. Hostility was closer. I felt it in front of me.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Something extraordinary occurred. I had quit lifelong spirituality, because it was the only thing that kept me away from bad things. So I took to imagine a world composed uniquely by atoms and that wasn't bad at all. I felt it 'brighter', 'stronger'. Yet after just a few days I had found a way to come back to think of spirituality without generating those bad things. Then I came back to reading a few spiritual texts about the importance of respect, things that it was years I did not read. I FELT a DIFFERENT way to practice that Respect, STRONGER and DEEPER than the previous one. I tried to keep this mode one whole day, feeling just RESPECT for everything. After three consecutive days in that mode, I felt EXTRAORDINARILY FINE. It was as if an invisible wind of love was caressing me, it was very beautiful. I felt a very beautiful sensation radiate from a space in the middle of my chest, it was a feeling of Joy similar to FALLING IN LOVE with Everything. I felt it was the world; it was the universe that was responding to the Love energy of my Respect. I wanted to persist but I didn't manage. It was a difficult focus to keep.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Previously, I was blocked with others, now I am slowly loosening. Maybe I am still blocked but the impression is of a block that is unblocking.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember what happened before (unfortunately), what happened in the meanwhile, and what happened after (I have been awake the whole night, each minute I fell asleep and I had cramps and nasty sensations that worried me, so I opened my eyes and then I closed them again. I went on like that the whole night. I remember around three a doctor was speaking to others. My eyes were closed. She said 'Finally he fell asleep?' I heard her distinctively, I could open my eyes to show her it wasn't so, but I didn't.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The gradual remission of sound and the feeling of being about to exit from my own head, from the fontanel. The non-color, too, of that dark fog and the feeling that I could defend myself if necessary.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I wrote it on Facebook, but maybe later I removed it or if it's still there I hid it. I told my father this, but he wasn't very impressed.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Years ago, I read on the internet about NDE research. They gave me my first Joy and hope in a life beyond matter.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real because conscience was there.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, it's enough thanks.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, this questionnaire is perfect in my opinion.