I had been playing rugby for about 15 minutes when the ruck went down, I ran in to recover the ball, I was going for the ball and then: Whack! Instantly I was thrust outside of my body and was immediately looking at my body, it was writhing and struggling. I could tell that it was in a state of trauma.
Looking down, I realized that my awareness was rising and as I rose, I became further aware of what was happening around my body, thus becoming further aware of my awareness capacity. For instance, when I looked at the grass I could tell it was grass. But there was an element present that had been missing for the short duration of my physical existence: that element was love. The grass was me and I was the grass. The grass was aware of me, and I had just become aware of the grass.
Another example was when I looked around. When I say I looked around, it wasn't as if I turned and looked, because I was already looking. I looked around at the trees and made a conscious decision to look at the trees because there was an aura of warmth and care emanating from that direction. When I looked at the trees, again they were aware of me. Exuding from the trees was love and acceptance.
When I became aware that this was the end of the physical body, I decided to say good-bye to my mother. I turned to the direction where mum would have been and said, 'good-bye'. When looking at my body I could see everyone standing around me. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could see that they all thought I was gone. One of the people there was my twin brother, I knew he was my twin but I had the same connection with him as I did with everyone else; there was no difference although I knew the difference. I felt at ease with me leaving my twin.
Once this had been realized, I looked up and there was a tunnel. The tunnel was dark in color but with love and care filling the void. There was no fear within me and the prospect of moving through it was filling me with joy and excitement. I started to rise up into the void and was filled with the feeling of returning home. Whatever was raising me there, made the journey comfortable and loving. On my journey upward, I felt a tug. I looked down and witnessed the man save me by running over and tell everyone to pick up my legs to re-inflate my lungs. When this happened, I was filled with dread at the prospect of returning to the earthly realm. With all of my spiritual might, I fought the return to my body. It was as if I was crying and asking God to not return me. Then POP, I was back in my body conscious of the game I was playing and resumed. It was years until I could fully grasp what had happened. I always knew what had happened, but from my upbringing and the society I was living in, I was restricted in understanding what had happened. It was something that was essentially left for the airy-fairy people and not men. Once I began to reflect on the occurrence, it dawned on me that I was not this body and that my soul was real.
Date NDE Occurred: 05/1996
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'
My body had just entered a state of trauma, I was crushed by roughly 150 kilograms of big men onto the knee of my twin brother; it seems as though I was on the exhale when I was crushed.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard the man who saved me yell 'lift his legs up', which prompted me to turn back and look at my body. This was verified.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal From the beginning, everything was imbued with love and care. Everything was a part of me and there was no separation between anything, although everything had different qualities; everything was from the same source. Everything was true and honest, even the trees and grass.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? From the beginning: Everything was imbued with love and care. Everything was a part of me and there was no separation between anything, although everything had different qualities; everything was from the same source. Everything was true and honest, even the trees and grass.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time was irrelevant.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything prior to the NDE was compartmentalized, I was myself and people were themselves. The only relationship between us was we were human. No connection between anything other than the categories I was taught at school.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Reflecting on the NDE, it feels as though I had no hearing but I could see the sound in another way, for example: I didn't hear anybody say I was dying but I knew that is what they thought.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was of a dark color, the light at the end seemed far away and the entrance was large. It engulfed most of my upward-looking vision.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No I could see the light but it did not seem unearthly; but it had to be unearthly because it was not originating from earth.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Absolute love toward everything. No pain, no regrets.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe There was one meaning, everything is interconnected no matter how different the subjects.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist Was not affiliated with or practiced any doctrine, was reading Carlos Casteneda at the time.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Have a strong disposition to Hare Krishna, although any spiritual doctrine has a resonance with me, almost as if I am spiritual with all faiths converging at particular points within me. For example I believe that Jesus walked and professed the truth, but I also believe in being reincarnated according to Hare Krishna, and chanting the Hare Krishna mantra has provided me great sense of solidarity.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was young and had no real belief structure. I was just trying to be a normal teenager.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have had major changes, if it was not for this event I would be as secularized as my father is.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Everything was coming to me through another mode of communication. In my story, when I say I was crying it was not 'crying.' This is just the only word my physical mind can use to describe the event. While rising up, there was no voice but there was the presence of love, which was enough language in itself. The being was out of sight but was present.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes My experience with the trees and the grass exemplifies the connection I had with everything. The trees and grass were the last thing I wanted to take note of but they were willing me to become aware of them
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain The fact that I became aware of the spirit suggested to me that life goes on after the body has expired.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Love is everything, and is the only worth while facet of life to perfect.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love was coming from the trees and grass.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I have the capacity to forgive and love in greater volumes.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love permeating everything.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes About 3-4 years after. It was with my twin brother, so his reaction was very good and understanding. He has said that, it was as if what I experienced he could feel and see also. He has been influenced. He has had his own NDE experience.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There was nothing that could tell me that it didn't happen. I was thinking and acting in the NDE, just like I am now. Maybe it was my brain just flooding the body with all sorts of endorphins or hallucinogenic qualities, but, I have taken these things after the fact and none of them was close to this.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real After wandering through the drudgery of modern human living, and witnessing the ailments of human nature and searching for the real answer to my life: it all comes to this NDE and the love that was present in the NDE.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No