Experience Description

This is my experience: First, I remember I was running around outside trying to find my husband. When a wave a nausea hit me, I went inside to lie down on the couch upstairs. I must have passed out then. The next thing I recall is staring up at my husband as he was yelling and slapping me to try to wake me up. It was strange because I felt throughout this entire experience like I was in my body; and, even though my eyes were shut, I could still see him. In a way, I was not really there. Yet I could feel, hear, and see everything going on around me. I saw mostly my husband screaming and slapping me, trying to wake me up. And I was screaming back at him to stop hitting me. I kept yelling, 'I'M AWAKE, I'M FINE!!' I was yelling for what seemed like ten minutes, when I realized that he couldn't hear me - that no one could hear me. I knew what was happening, but I was paralyzed and I couldn't do anything about it - couldn't move, couldn't speak, nothing.

Things started to fade and I remember thinking 'Wow, this is it. I'm leaving my daughter and my husband right now.' With this thought, I started to panic and kick and scream - but, of course, my body wouldn't move. Then things started to lighten again and I remember waking up abruptly, throwing my arms around my husband and telling him how I had just had a horrible experience. I told him that I knew he had been trying to wake me up - everything I have just written here. He carried me downstairs and laid me down. As he walked away, I drifted off again, and the whole thing started over again. He was slapping me and yelling my name. I remember hearing him crying, saying that my skin was ice-cold and that I was barely breathing at all. Then he dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, I could hear them talking and see them opening my eyes and shining lights into them. But my body was a hundred percent unresponsive. I remember hearing an emergency medical technician say that he didn't know what was going to happen to me.

During the entire experience at the hospital, I could feel every needle and tube penetrating my body. I was freezing cold but didn't shiver. I was scared s***less - screaming inside me every moment of this entire experience. I didn't know if I was dreaming or if it was all real. I felt like in the movies when people get a shot that paralyzes them. They know everything that's going on, but just can't move a muscle or say a word. Frantic. Helpless. I have read stories from other people in situations like this; and I don't understand why I didn't feel peaceful like they did, why I was so scared. Maybe I was just stuck in between, or something. I remember feeling a heating blanket being thrown on me and thinking that it was the most amazing feeling in the world. The room got lighter, I became calmer, and okay with what was happening, until finally I tried to move my hand, and it actually moved. The nurse came running over and I was aware of them all watching me, as I started moving it more. Eventually, I opened my eyes, and immediately started crying hysterically until my husband got there.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 05/10/2011

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Severe alcohol poisoning 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I had severe alcohol poisoning. Slow/irregular breathing, hypothermia, and unconsciousness.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It seems to me that after I realized I was completely unconscious and unable to do anything is when I was the most alert and aware of everything going on - and also the most scared.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I just felt like the entire experience took hours and hours and hours, and I guess it was only two hours.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision trailed, it almost seemed - like it was brighter and darker at the same time. It was almost blotchy and kind of gritty-looking.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It kept changing throughout my entire experience. Sometimes it was quiet, sometimes really loud, sometimes muffled.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I don't think it was the light that people talk about. My vision went white as I came to.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure and utter fear, with a slight feeling of calm right before I came to.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I have no religious beliefs.

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist None

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I have no religious beliefs.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I just remember, and still feel to this moment, that I'm meant to be here, to be with my husband and be his wife. I just remember, and still feel, that my husband's whole world came crashing down. I could sense what he was thinking in his head - that all he wanted was for me to be okay, and that we'd never take advantage of each other again.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My husband and I are better together than we've been in a while.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I felt unable to express the emotions that I had been feeling, and also to really explain certain experiences I had.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I've always had a slight psychic ability.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? What was very meaningful to me was the moment when I could hear in Brock's head that he truly realized how much I meant to him. In that alone and how our relationship has gotten better since the incident, I truly believe that this is why it happened.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I woke the first time, I shared it immediately with my husband, and when I woke up the second time, I shared it with the nurse and doctor - and my husband more in depth on our way home. Brock (my husband) seems to believe me - and I think he does, because he used to do a lot of acid and he believes that things like that can happen. The nurse seemed to believe me, saying that she's heard of these kinds of experiences before. But the doctor just looked at me like I was absolutely insane. I'm actually surprised he didn't put me in a psychiatric ward.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I guess I've always heard of people seeing the light, meeting their family, seeing the future and their whole life flashing in front of them - but what I experienced wasn't a single bit like that.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real There were certain aspects of the entire experience that I didn't think were real, like the experience that I recall having in the ambulance. I recall them treating me very poorly and making fun of my situation. Although I did give a very accurate account of who was in the ambulance helping me, I never once opened my eyes. So maybe that part actually didn't happen. I just sure hope it didn't.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real I feel like people think I'm crazy when I bring it up. I feel like my husband is slightly sick of hearing me try to figure it out with him. And at times I feel that I AM crazy. But I don't know how something that felt so real when it was happening, and which was verified by so many people who were around at the time, could be not real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I always hear of people having experiences, but they are nothing like mine. I hope that I'm not alone in my experience.