I was lying in the hospital bed watching the doctors and nurses working on me exactly as if I was conscious. There was a large group of people, about 30 or more, at the foot of the bed watching what was happening. I didn't recognize any of them, and they were dressed as if they were from the 1940's. I was aware that my parents and my brother and sister (all deceased) were standing behind the head of the bed, as were my Spirit guides and helpers. At the foot of the bed, in front of the large group, were two young boys who were playing marbles. Every now and then, the marbles would roll close to the bed, and my sister came forward and told the boys to keep them out of the way of the doctors and nurses. I was lying there watching all of this and wondering, 'why isn't anyone coming to get me?' when I saw my mother walk forward to the side of the bed.When she was alongside me, I could see from the corner of my eye that she had tears streaming down her face. I thought 'why is she crying?', but as I turned my head, my brother came forward and dragged her back out of my sight. That was when I realized that I wasn't going with them to the Spirit World i.e. I wasn't going to die. I didn't think 'oh good! I'm going to live!' I was filled with despair at the thought that I would have to survive, and it was just too much to think about, it just seemed too much of an uphill struggle, so I just 'went back to sleep.' I have to emphasize that at no time was I conscious. My friend who was there told me later that at one point, my heart stopped and the crash team was called, but before they could do anything, my heart started beating again. I have no way of knowing if this is when my experience occurred.
Date NDE Occurred: 30th May 2005
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
On 23/5/05 I had a 'silent' heart attack (no symptoms) and on 30/5/05 I collapsed with heart failure. I was rushed to hospital and was in an intensive care unit overnight. I wasn't expected to recover - but did!
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain Not that I know of, but the doctors and nurses I 'saw' working on me were the actual ones who were there.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My senses seemed heightened and colors were brighter.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At no time was I actually conscious, I just felt as though I was during the whole experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything appeared to be in sharper focus and colors were brighter.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It seemed the same.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Mother, sister and brother who had all died some years before my experience.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace and calm, until I realized I was going to survive, and then disappointment is perhaps more appropriate than 'despair'
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Spiritualist. Iam a pratising Medium, but was brought up as Baptist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Spiritualist,
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As a Spiritualist my core belief is that after what we call death we continue to live in a different dimension.The prescence of my deceased relatives is wholly consistent with this belief.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes seeing my deceased relatives
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I became aware that my mother was crying because I wasn,t going with her t the Spirit World
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I am more accepting of what life throws at me, and believe there is a purpose to all of it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember it as vividly as it appeared at the time.Other life events tend to be patchy,I remember some things better than others and have to "put the pieces together".BUT I also rememer the events leading up to the time I collapsed very accurately.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My mother coming to take me to the Spirit World. We don't usually know for certain that this happens until it does, it's something we have faith in that we are 'taken home' by relatives. Now I KNOW that we are.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only days afterwards I told the friend who was there. She is also a Spiritualist and so it also reassured her.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Many years before I had read R Moody's book 'Life After Life.' What most strikes me about my experience is that it isn't like the NDEs I've read about; no tunnel of light, no floating above the hospital bed.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real As a Spiritualist it confirmed my beliefs - what more can I say. My core belief is that after what we call death we continue to live in a different dimension. The presence of my deceased relatives is wholly consistent with this belief.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I remember it as vividly as it appeared at the time. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. Other life events tend to be patchy; I remember some things better than others remember and have to 'put the pieces together.' BUT I also remember the events leading up to the time I collapsed very accurately.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It's difficult to think of objective questions. I think everyone has to describe things in their own words.
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