I knew I was in a great deal of trouble, and that something had to be done. I was trapped in the back seat of a car and my best friend was in the front seat. I was swimming in blood and bone fragments, yet I managed to use my one good arm to get one leg out and then I tried to get my friend and I out. I could not do it. I was so tired and I thought I should rest.
At that point, I felt GOD was looking at me. For years, I had been a practicing atheist. I looked at GOD and said that I didn't think he wanted cowards and I wasn't going to change just because I was desperate. Stupid, I know, but I felt it would be cowardly to ask God for help when I didn't believe in God. While I was having this discourse, I heard sirens and knew an ambulance was coming.
Shortly, I heard talking and felt someone lift my arm, hold my wrist for a minute and then say, 'Bag this one too, he's dead.' I said, 'No, I'm not!' and they went into high gear to get me out. After they got me out and into the ambulance, things became strange. It was like I was above the ambulance, watching it going to the hospital. Then, once I got there, I watched from above as they wheeled me into the emergency room. It was really strange. Later the nurses told me that I kept telling them to calm down, that it was going to be all right. They had never seen anyone in my shape still aware and talking. I was never out of it. All they could do at this place was stabilize me, and after that, I was moved to a major trauma center. First, I was told I was dead, next, that I would be a triple amputee, never walk again, etc. I was walking within six months.
Date NDE Occurred: 07/05/1979
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other Car wreck. EMT grabbed my wrist and said I was dead. I told him I wasn't.
Very bad car wreck. I was trapped in the car for one hour and forty-five minutes. Both legs, my hip, pelvis, right shoulder, right arm, and five ribs, plus my temple were cracked. I had massive blood loss to the point where doctors said, 'No Way He Should Be Alive'. I remember every last minute, and from a couple of different angles.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was pretty constant.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt time was far more fluid in a way I can't explain. It was just so different; it was like it was moving sideways. Sounds stupid, but there it is.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Can't say I met anyone, but I did feel like GOD was watching me - and I do mean that!!
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Anger, that I couldn't help my friend, and also after hearing a nurse tell my mother I was dying. And sadness, because of how frightened all the staff looked. I felt bad about making them feel that way.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Atheist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I could feel my being, soul, whatever it is, stretching out to infinity, and now I do not want to spend it alone. It convinced me of an afterlife and that you have a choice of spending it by yourself, or with the CREATOR and the ones you love.
What is your religion now? Moderate Baptist and believe every word of Bible
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I could feel my being, soul, whatever it is, stretching out to infinity, and now I do not want to spend it alone. It convinced me of an afterlife and that you have a choice of spending it by yourself, or with the CREATOR and the ones you love.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That my personal wants and needs meant nothing. What was important was doing whatever could be done to help my friend. And that was more important, in a wider sense, than anything else.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Sadly, one of the results is I can't get close to anyone. I know how transient things are.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, that I was a fool to think GOD did not exist. I sure didn't keep myself alive.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Shortly after it happened, I saw this experience as 'definitely real.' That I had lost something I loved very much (my comrade) is what it took to make me realize the existence of something greater than me. And that was three or four days later.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still see the experience as 'definitely real.' As I get older and see the randomness of things, I see the value of FAITH and BELIEF.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? These years after have been pretty lonely, but that's okay, because I know after I am dead I will see all those people I miss so much. And, I will see GOD. I don't think I had your typical NDE because of my atheism - why would I? I was a real Nietzscheian. Bet you that's a sad and lonely bunch.