First off, I was very religious and believed in God at the time and I still do. What I experienced haunts me to this day and I don't understand it. I remember driving to a friend's house. I was sitting down and chatting.
The next thing I remember, I was in a huge black square with small white dots. Throughout the square, it was like I was in space. I was in the center and I couldn't see myself at the time, but I heard loud ear-piercing banging. It sounded far away, but with every bang, it was getting closer. I heard a loud voice say, ‘This is how it began and how it will end.’ I felt so alone and afraid. The word ‘void’ kept popping up in my mind. Everything was black, except the small white dots. One dot was right in front of me, but it seemed a million miles away. Then everything switched over and I was somewhere else. It was all was black again. I felt as if I was in space.
Then I heard my name, over and over again. All around me were things like demons and monsters. It felt like they were trying to tear off my body parts. At the upper right corner of wherever I was at, I could see someone. There was no face, but it was a male figure. He screamed my name and grabbed my hand before it was too late. I reached out and felt someone pulling me in their direction. I heard, ‘Is she breathing? Is she breathing?’
Then I was alone and afraid, back in the black square. The loud banging was getting closer and closer. It was so lonely and cold, I can't describe it. But again, the word ‘void’ was in my head. It was the loud voice that kept saying in between the banging, ‘This is how it began and how it will end.’ I kept feeling the loneliness, and it was so cold, so dark, and so loud. Finally, the bang was right beside me. Again, I heard the voice saying, ‘This is how it began and how it will end.’ There were no more white dots, no more voice. I just heard the continuous ear-piercing bang and I heard, ‘You're done.’ I thought, ‘Oh my! I'm dead!’ I was just there. I still couldn't see myself and I was so alone.
I'm not sure how long I was like that, but the next thing was that I awoke to people performing CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation) on me. I didn't know who I was or were I was. All I knew was that there were people standing around saying ‘E.D.’ I didn't know that was me; I knew nothing. I lost consciousness. I woke up strapped down in an ambulance because I didn't know who I was or where I was. I knew nothing. I then projectile vomited all over myself and the Emergency Medical Technician. I arrived at hospital, lost consciousness and woke up two days later.
The woman and man in my room seemed familiar. My memory started coming back slowly. I recognized my mother and brother. From what my friend and their neighbor said, I came to visit them. We went out to eat, got back home, and I walked to the back porch to smoke a cigarette. I got a weird glazed-over look in my eyes. I was standing on the top porch step and started seizing. I fell 7 feet, landing on my face and head. After, I came back to consciousness two days later, the doctors, my friends, and mom started filling me in on what happened. I still don't remember seizing, falling, breaking my nose and cheekbone, or my head injury. The doctors told me that I had stopped breathing several times. The first two times, CPR brought me back. The last two times, I had to be shocked to get my heart beating again.
I was released a few days later into my mother's care. In the days to follow, I felt that loneliness, cold, and dark feelings. The word ‘void’ is still in my head. The demons, monsters or whatever they are, is in my head all the time now. At the very end, I heard a voice say, ‘Tell all, this is how it begins and how it ends.’ When I looked out, I saw a big war. I've tried to explain it to a few people and they look at me as if I'm crazy. I've had a couple doctors tell me that I had a near death experience.
Date NDE Occurred: 9/3/2014
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Direct head injury. Seizure that led to me falling sustaining a bead and face injuries. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function).
I stopped breathing due to having a seizure and falling 7 feet down steps, breaking my nose, cheek bone, knocking two teeth out and a severe head injury.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was seeing things: beings, demons. It was so cold, I couldn't breathe or inhale.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in the outer space event when the demons, monsters or whatever they were was trying to pull my body parts off. Out of all those mean viscous beings I heard a man say ‘E.D., grab my hand’. The joy I felt it was short lived because I went back to the black void-less box. At the very end I heard a voice say, ‘tell all, this is how it begins and how it ends’, and when I looked out I saw a big war.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The demons, monsters or whatever were 3-D looking and moving so fast it was a blur.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything that happened, in what I consider my NDE, was ear-piercing loud, I thought my ears were going to rupture.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain At the very end, when the banging stopped and the voice said, at the very end I heard a voice say: ‘tell all, this is how it begins and how it ends’ and when I looked out I saw a big war.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain What I encountered was pure evil, darkness, flesh-eating demons.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm There were 2 different places I was in, the first was the clack box but you could sense you were in space, the other place it was like a ship or something in space were the demons were trying to rip me apart.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Scared, alone, afraid, cold, helpless
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I mean I'm a Christian so for me to be having all this to-do in space and demons and ships in space, I want to know what that means.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control My past flashed before me; it was out of my control.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I saw a large war, millions of people fighting for the cause. I never understood what that meant though.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will At the very end, the voice said, ‘this is how it began and how it ends’. I was looking at the tiny pinhole of light and I felt someone helping me towards it.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian i have always been religious and believed in God which i still but but what i experienced was, panic,fear,void,darkness
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I have always been religious and believed in God which I still do, but what I experienced was, panic, fear, void, darkness.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian i have always been religious and believed in God which i still but but what i experienced was, panic,fear,void,darkness
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As I said before, I'm Christian. I love and believe in God, so why did I see all these demons and monsters in space? Even after I got out of hospital, I have recurring nightmares about this. I'm truly confused.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The voice that kept saying my name , was the same voice that pulled me away from the flesh-eating demons and was the same voice that said ‘tell all, this is how it begins and how it ends’; and when I looked out I saw a big war.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain What I encountered was pure evil, darkness, flesh eating demons
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The void is what I was told connects is were we go the voice told me
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I saw many demons flesh eating deans
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes to me it just ended i was all alone cold and afraid i could actually my last breath
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Unknown
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life; the reoccurring nightmares of the flesh-eating demons, the loneliness, the darkness, I wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Large changes in my life; the reoccurring nightmares of the flesh-eating demons, the loneliness, the darkness, I wake up screaming in a cold sweat.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I've become withdrawn.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I just can’t explain how cold, alone, the complete darkness, the ear-piercing bangs, the beings whatever they were trying to rip me apart, and the words over and over: ‘this is how it began and how it will end’. There I was all alone and so cold, thinking I'm dead and this is it.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain There have been several times I’ll start smothering and call mom, even in my sleep I’ll dream it, wakeup and call her. I've had several dreams and have told her before about them then something very similar happens soon, just like I dreamed it.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I've only told my mother. Mom thinks my NDE is why I'm having these dreams. I don't want to talk about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was scary, but I know what I felt and saw. I think there's a message for me somewhere to have to go through this.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I felt united or one with the world. Christian I have always been religious and believed in God which I still do, but what I experienced was, panic, fear, void, darkness. As I said before I'm Christian. I love and believe in God. So why did I see all these demons and monsters in space? Even since I got out of the hospital I have recurring nightmares about this, I'm truly confused ever since. The void is what, I was told, connects where we go (the voice told me).To me it just ended, I was all alone, cold, and afraid. I could actually feel my last breath.