It is only recently that I have recalled this event and I do not know why. Maybe it's because I have been left with a sense of confusion. During my surgery, I became aware of myself, walking in a grassy clearing that was surrounded by trees. At the time, I thought that I was seeing a light-grey sky in the distance. But now, I believe it was a dim light. As I continued looking at it, the light became a pure white. I wanted to go there, to where the white light was, and so I kept walking toward it. As I walked, I noticed how lush and green the grass and the forest were. I was at peace and I felt content. Then, I heard dogs barking and I could understand what they were saying! They were playing, and planning to go somewhere to continue their game. I turned a corner and there was the group of dogs! I became very joyful when I saw that two of my deceased dogs were part of the group! I called out the name of one of my dogs, wanting to hold and pet him. The other dogs took off, racing towards the light. My dog turned, looked right at me and barked. And again, I could understand him. In a very scolding tone he said, 'You're not supposed to be here!' He took off and joined the other dogs, and soon they were all engulfed by the light. I could see figures there, but I could not move.It was then that I woke up. Since the surgery and near death experience, my life has been something of a struggle. To this day, I am haunted by that experience. I pray and mediate, wondering why it had not been my time, and why I was 'not supposed to be there.' Also, the doctors said that my surgery had been complication-free. No mention of my heart stopping.
Date NDE Occurred: 2006?
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness. Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I was undergoing a major surgery, a kidney transplant. While now routine, it is still considered high-risk.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was just more aware of the colors that surrounded me. How lush and green the grass and the trees were. I even felt how soft the grass was.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I noticed the intensity of the colors in the grassy clearing.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was clear and sharp. In everyday life, I need to wear glasses/contacts for near vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was very good, before and after.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was aware of my deceased dogs.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw an unearthly light in the distance; but where I was seemed to be in the edges of that light.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I had never seen this clearing before. It seemed so perfect.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Contentedness. Peace. Happiness. Relief.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Dogs were speaking my language.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I could not enter into the bright light where I watched my dogs go.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was 'sent back' against my will. See narrative above.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I could understand what my deceased dogs were saying.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Unknown
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Yes. I missed my dogs and wanted to tell them.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Unknown
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs I had at the time of my experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain I am not sure.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have told no one else of my experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I seem to be more attuned to another person who is not significant in my life. We've only briefly met. But she is constantly in my dreams as my soul mate. Also, whenever I think about her, she soon shows up somewhere that I am.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I became very joyful when I saw that two of my deceased dogs were part of the group! I missed my dogs and wanted to tell them.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read about it.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real Experience was probably not real. I thought it was just a vivid dream.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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