Experience Description

My mother heard muffled noises during her sleep. She found me in my bed, purplish, struggling, and then, nothing; I was a doll in the arms of my mother. Heart arrest due to suffocation.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: June/July 1975

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessAllergic reaction Convulsions followed by suffocation with my tongue, Clinical death, cardiac and breathing arrest for a few minutes. Clinical death I was choking in my bed because during my first convulsion I had swallowed my tongue.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Disturbing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain Not a form but rather the feeling of having no body. A sphere of light, I would say.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Nearly none. I was very young, I must admit.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time had not yet any grip on the nine month baby I was, but no time passing by around me.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I heard a melodic noise that I do not completely find in the music I listen to.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Not beings per se but rather 'denser' lights, more vivid than the surrounding light. Not flashes, rather 'clouds of light'.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A melodic noise that I do not completely find in the music I listen to.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A landscape full of light and softness, compassion, understanding. The most pastel of pastel tones ever seen.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I had the feeling that I belonged to this world not as much as a being but rather as photon within the surrounding light.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Love before anything else, before yourself because the light of others brightens up yours. The good that is done unto others comes back to the person who does it. To love and to be loved can erase any physical or mental pain. Death is nothing else than the regret for not having understood.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I feel events coming forward; I know what’s good for people. But I prefer not to intervene because everyone’s freewill distorts everything and is quite illogical, let’s say it is not in resonance with my logic.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Regrets about coming back even if I did not have anything to say when I arrived over there. And that my presence here seems more important, to me or to the others.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Not baptized, Christian mother but not practicing.

What is your religion now? Liberal I’m not able to find a religion that would laud the feelings I experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I refuse to believe to a religion built on human writings. The human being is by nature imperfect and therefore untrustworthy, indeed weak.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Impossible to find words intense enough or wrong understanding of the words used resulting in false communication.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I know how to use a Tarot deck but I hate to do it. I feel the bad things coming forward.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of this awesome love that surrounded me and the pain of not being able to feel it anymore. Even if sometimes when sharing with other living beings, or within a simple contemplation of nature, I can briefly feel it - weaker but it’s there.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not convinced, like you. But, knowing me, forced to admit that I’m completely different. Too gentle. They do not know about this mail.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Suffocation due to convulsions during sleep (very rarely), meditation (more or less effective).