I remember exactly nothing of what happened immediately before the NDE started or immediately after it ended.
I do not remember leaving my body. My recall begins as I find myself hovering up near the ceiling, slightly to the right of the ceiling light. I am above my body, which my mother has placed on the baby's changing table. The doctor comes in with his overcoat on and looks down at me, as my mother stands next to him talking. I watch them with little interest. I know that is me on the changing table. I feel no attachment to 'me' or to my mom, other than I kind of feel sorry for her. Then I turn around and leave through the ceiling.
Outside, it's dark and the sky is clear. I look up at the sky, looking for something. Then I see what I expect, a point of light in the sky, a star. I lock onto it, and immediately start flying, not through the sky, but through this kind of dark void. I fly as fast as I can, which is incredibly fast. I don't see if I have a body, but it feels like I do. There's this rushing wind sound, but I don't 'feel' the airflow. It's not cold; it's not warm. It is the perfect temperature. I know there are others around me, but I don't 'see' them. I know where I'm going.
Then, a transition. I am slowing down. I see the pinpoint light, the star, getting closer. I'm slowing down; something is making me slow down. I am almost completely stopped, but I press forward - but there is like a force field or something I'm pressing against. It doesn't hurt - it just won't let me go forward. So, I'm a little confused. I look back to where I came from, which is not something I actually see - but I know where it is. I am hovering in a void, suspended in midair. I turn towards the 'star' or the light again, and the message is clear. I wonder if I'm supposed to turn around, and I get an answer in my head. 'Yes.'
So - I like mentally shrug my shoulders, I'm still confused about why I can't come back (not to Mercer Island, but to the 'star'). But, okay, I'll turn around and go back to the other place. I do - I know exactly how to get back, even though I don't really want to. So - I return.
Date NDE Occurred: I don't know
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening I had a very high fever, but do not know whether or not it was possibly life threatening. I do know now that I have unexplained lesions on my brain, which could reflect some serious illness as a child. My mother does not remember, probably because she hadI was clearly very ill, but how ill I have no way of knowing. My mother does not remember any life threatening illness, other than a head injury I suffered around the same time.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I never saw myself. But, as I said, I did have the sense that I had a body.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Completely clear, clearer than any memory I have from that age in my life.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Rushing sound.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Well, more like a wind tunnel than the tunnel I have read about since.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I did not see any, but I felt at the boundary that something was being communicated to me by a really big grown-up.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw a star.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future There is something there that I cannot put my finger on, but it may not be related to the NDE.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Strong force-field type boundary which I could not see, but I absolutely could not get past. Didn't cross it and couldn't have crossed it. Wasn't allowed.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No I had no choice.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Again, I was only four and a half years old.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I did not tell my mother or anyone else until I went to college in 1970. At that time, I told my roommate and other friends.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had paranormal gifts, and since this happened when I was so young, who's to say whether I had them before or after?
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Have openly shared it with selected friends since 1970 when I went to college. Have also shared it with people I have known when they were dying.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Ask about feelings about death, both of self and of loved ones.