Experience Description

This was awesome! I was cold, frightened and then suddenly, halfway from Glendale to Burbank, I simply felt like an armor had been unlocked and my real body had been released. I felt warm, love, peace and pure joy in that birth. I looked at myself for only a moment, and at my husband frantically driving to the hospital. At that same moment, I began to multi-locate and was with my mother who was driving to Glendale for my son, Larry. I was with my doctor driving to the hospital (interesting that I also stayed all the time with him when I arrived at St. Joe's but also experienced Heaven and what I'll describe).

I could tell the Doctor everything he did during my arrival. I could tell him down to the minute details of accompanying the nurse to the basement of the hospital to get the plasma for me; to the oxygen in the elevator wall, he was giving me while during CPR, everything he did and they did while also being in Heaven being instructed and shown around.

At the same time I was with both my mother and doctor and husband, I was also with my sister, Nannette at the Los Angeles Stock Exchange, with my sister, Charonne at College and my brother, Raymond at high school. I multi-located, knew their thoughts and what each was doing and related it to each of them. I was also with my son, Larry who was being cared for by Mary. I was vividly aware of each and every one of them.

At the same time, it was as if I were in an invisible plane hovering over the San Fernando Valley and seeing the beauty of it all. At the same time, I was also looking down on earth from space and seeing how awesome earth looked from space. I went through the universe, understanding within me that this was a place I knew and suddenly I was on a real, living firmament. A living place of pure love. The waters were living waters, the grass was living, the trees were living, and the animals were living, more alive than earth is.

My 'guide' is actually an angel, with a solid body of light, in the same form and design as our earthly body is, but solid light. Words are inadequate to describe Heaven, as it is fantastic. I KNEW I was HOME. I knew this was where I'd come from to earth. In those seven minutes of death on earth, I experienced seven weeks of time or more. Who knows?

I first came to an absolutely serene and beautiful countryside. This is where I saw animals (including unicorns) and they were so beautiful and contented, so full of LOVE. The grass, trees, and flowers were all so exquisite that my mind said so and in return, a vibration of Love flowed back to me from them. The water was so spectacular that I expressed this in my mind and the waters were living and sparkled back to me with love.

There was melody or music all around, not unexpectedly, and perhaps because I love music so much. And God has permitted me several times in this life to hear this awesome music, fully more melodic and more beautiful than anyone could write while here on earth. Just suddenly playing and filling my soul with joy.

This angel took me to a place like a coastal community, where I flew above it without wings or plane and it was colorful, alive and so beautiful. And then he (I was aware this angel was male) took me to a place where there was a computer.

Now you can image how difficult in 1958 it was to describe after I came back what I now have words to describe. So, I will give you both what I saw and then how I tried to explain what I saw. He showed me God's computer! You got that! Heaven has a computer we will never catch up with on earth. And the angel and I were discussing my choice to enter earth in 1936 versus the other choice, I'd debated, or that of the Civil War period. So, he went over to a wall area (this room was white and very clean and orderly) and took a tiny case, which I now know is what we call a jewel case for CDs. At the time, I did not know how to describe this tiny case, but clearly, it was the Civil War era. And he took from the case this less than half dollar sized CD (which I described as a metallic record without a hole in the middle) and he slipped it into the table top (it wasn't a desk at all).

Suddenly, the entire wall in front of me, I'd say that it must have been a good fifty feet or better, just opened up and it was like looking down on earth during the civil war. And I was in it as a human being, female, and all this killing was going on. And I said in my mind, 'Oh, I can't stand killing at all. This is why I didn't want to go to earth then.' And as quickly as I thought this, I was back by the angel and out of it, the wall closed and the metallic disk popped out which he replaced in the case and put back on the shelf.

After that we went about several cities, and I saw one quaint, another of like green glass, and then another like so many of our own great palaces or majestic buildings. The streets were indeed of gold, and this awesome fountain was in front of one massive building, that just sparkled blue-green light giving love from it. It is something you never forget.

He took me into this very massive structure, richer and more beautiful than anything we could ever create on earth. I realized that all paintings, all woven rugs, tapestries, carvings; all we create on earth that is beautiful has its seed from Heaven. We saw all this before we came to earth. We try to recapture some of Heaven while on earth. We deeply desire Heaven on earth. We miss Heaven deep in our souls.

I instantly knew that we were before we came here to earth, and understood why we come to earth. We come but once, we do not reincarnate, but might remember a test phase before our final decision on the time frame of our life. We do get to check out the role we pick before we come and we basically know how it will go. We can even decide to come during the same time frame as others we knew very well in Heaven and try to meet while here. We do pick our families, and we do pick our race, color and creed. That's part of the test. There is no race, color or creed in Heaven, only here for the test. And I will explain why the test, why some are deformed, why there is good and evil as well. It was enlightened to me while there. And something almost like wait, wait, it is not yet time to reveal this information. There is logic to all of this as well.

I understood death was really a transitional birth. As a baby is born from the mother's womb, it actually has died to its previous life in her womb -- the life of water into the life of air. When we die to earth, we are born again, this time into the life of life from whence we originally came. It is full circle but must be done to pass the test.

This palace the angel took me to, was spectacular and very, very high. I'd say the hallways were approximately three stories or more high. Very ornate and beautiful, marble hallways with exquisite paintings and these columns that were of gold and detailed with absolutely beautiful adornments on them. There was some form of writings on the doors, which were fully twenty-five feet or more high and automatic as well. The writings were more like ancient symbols but very familiar to me. I seemed to understand them. And suddenly we came to these two very magnificent doors which automatically opened and this awesome presence filled the marble floored throne room. It was definitely the throne room and I was acutely aware that I was only being permitted to view the reflection of God's Light. Not the full force of His Awesome wonder.

I was so filled with love and wanting to hug Him with joy. And His voice came within my mind and He commanded me to stretch forth my hands and arms to see that I was made of solid light. And I did so. And then He infused within my mind the knowledge that we all are of solid light, male and female, each with our own identity and purpose. Each created before entry to earth and each was male or female prior to that entry. He contains both sides, and this is the truth of it. For it is not the sexual side but the strong and the gentle of each side of Him that determined who we'd be created as. A balance of His being.

And He told me within my mind that I would understand who we are and why we are on earth. And that He used me as His instrument to bring forth these sons back to Him. That I'd agreed to this and that I was not being punished at all. These are His exact words: 'They are treasures so rare; I can part with them no longer. I bring these sons through you for my vanguard. They need no further test.' (I gave Our Father eight sons at or right after birth, but never lost faith that He would send children for me to love and keep here on earth and He has given five children to love; now four with the murder of my eldest son in 1980 at age twenty-four.)

I have a peace most humans do not have over death, because I know that is what Christ meant by the words: 'Unless you are born again, you cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.' It has nothing to do with the meaning religion has given it. It means it is something we all must do.

Our Father also told me that I would have to go back to earth and complete my test. The test was not over and there was much that I needed to do. He affirmed that He loved me and would be with me all the days of my life (even when I fall down and fail Him, He has never left my side).

I understood why there was good and evil on earth. It is actually a real battle for our individual souls. It is why we all have a guardian angel or good angel prodding us to do good, and a tormentor tempting us to do wrong. There is a lot at stake here and frankly, Our Creator does not wish to lose one soul He created because we all are created out of Him and His love. It already saddens Him greatly to be losing a third of His angels who followed His first creation, Lucifer. He is overjoyed with the other third of the angels who followed Mich'l and defended Him, casting them out of Heaven. Note, cast out but not destroyed for good reason. Ever asked yourself why we call newborn babies 'little angels' or why we want 'heaven on earth'? Or why we look upwards to the sky and want to fly? Or why we are fascinated with space? Ever asked yourself what did the other third of the angels do during the battle in Heaven between the good angels and the bad ones? Ever wonder exactly how the battle was won? The battle was of the minds -- LOVE versus HATE. Love won because Love is linked to God. HE is LOVE, LIFE and LIGHT. A Trilogy.

Life is also a trilogy and it is in the three forms we identify theologically to God as Water, Air and Light or 'Living Waters', Breath of God, 'Light of the World' or however we wish to describe the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Much like the Sun being the Father, while the sunshine is the Son and the warmth of the sunshine is the Holy Spirit.

Anyway, I really did not wish to come back, but then again, knowing that I was an angel who had not made that choice in Heaven during that battle, and did not deserve being cast out nor getting to remain just because, I came back to continue the test.

It also explained to me why it was possible for me to be hit by a car in a crosswalk in February 1955, be thrown one hundred and thirty-four feet across the lanes head on into a streetcar and walk away from it without a broken bone. (Los Angeles Police Department has a police report.) Evidently, I must have remembered in that moment without consciously being aware of it, that I could fly (without wings). I've had a life full of 'miracles' literally. Medical miracles written about and commented by doctors as, 'Only you and God would do this to me!'

The instant that Our Father sent me back, it was rapid -- with the speed of light. I went through the universe so fast, and down to earth and down to my body (remember though that I also knew everything everyone I loved or connected to me during death was doing at that precise time period while I was also in Heaven). I saw my body on the table. The cesarean section performed and Mich'l was outside in the doctor's hands and I slammed in through my head as I watched Mich'l go out from his head and then I was out -- in a critical condition and did not awaken until the next day when the doctor came in to tell me that my son died. But, instead, I told him about it all and the moment of Mich'l's birth back Home.

Imagine in 1958 trying to explain this to doctors! My priest was better at understanding what I was discussing and then I just stopped talking about it and got on with life because I now had the KEYS to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is about LOVE. One must love one's self, this way we love God. He is within each of us. We then can love others, including enemies. We are here to love life, to live life and express back to our Creator our joy in having life here and seeing how beautiful our world is regardless of how we make it. It is a very beautiful world that we should all stop to take into our souls for nourishment. I learned too that we are never asked to endure more on this earth than we were also given the ability to endure, if we reach inside ourselves for that grace. We agreed to the test. We were confident we could do it, too.

Oh, another thing I understood was that ghosts are just mentally projected images of the person sending the image, not the physical being. And that they can mentally touch, leave a scent of flowers, (or if evil the same) however, they cannot harm you. You have the RIGHT to make evil leave and they must. And a ghost is not thin air but a projection by thought when like walking through walls, etc. I even understand UFO's -- it is what we EXPECT in our time frame chosen, so it is what we see and get. Each era is different with different sets of conditions and it is up to us to make what is important the focal point of our life. We need but love and with it we receive faith, hope and confidence to get through it.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 4/4/58 [ND] 8/1/57 & 12/18/68 [OB]

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Clinical death 57 spinal cord severed in surgury to remove clinically malignant hemangioma T10, T11 & T12. 68 heart stopped during C-section Imminent birth of fourth son (second died at two months, third died after birth) and I thought water broke, but actually I was bleeding to death. Walked from kitchen where I'd thought water broke to den, called doctor, husband and mother (to care for first son who was napping), walked through living room (thought still leaking more water) to bed. Laid on bed to wait, continued to bleed through two mattresses to the floor and by time my husband arrived and loaded me into car, was dying. Died en-route to hospital in car.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Definitely. I told you that I was made aware that my new body was the body within this human form, that lovely body of solid light. I repeat: SOLID LIGHT, as you do not see through it at all. It is solid and we can move with the speed of light.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While still at my home on the bed, I was suddenly acutely aware that I was dying and asked for my rosary beads. My two and half year old son, Larry had awakened from his nap, climbed out of his crib, come to my room and told me that he was going to go get Alice, a pregnant neighbor two doors down. She came and propped up the foot of my bed (told me later that Larry told her that mommy was all blood all over the house and needed her). Alice gave me my rosary and she stayed with me praying as well until my husband came. En-route to the hospital, I recognized the intense coldness was death and was afraid, then suddenly became very calm.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The very fact I saw so much in Heaven, during such a brief period of time, gave me the realization that time is man's measure for order on earth but totally unnecessary in Heaven. Heaven is forever, without limitations.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard the most awesome music in heaven. I mean awesome. There was no noise at the moment of being born again. No noise while hovering over all the humans important to me, other than being aware that I could read their thoughts or as in the case of my doctor, hear his commands to nurses and staff.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My angel just appeared at my side. He was male, much taller than I am (I'm five feet five inches tall) and wearing a long white gown, no cowl or wings (sorry, not needed to fly). He was human and I certainly felt like I knew him. He was my tour guide and educator. I believe I covered the communication phase above.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes As described above, when taken to the Throne Room, I saw the reflection of God's Light, not the full force of it. Like light glancing off a window or mirror, but not the fullness of Him. I could not have returned had I done so. And that was not immediate either, as I went on a grand tour of Heaven. I did see light within the waters, grass, trees, etc. but it was like loving light embracing or throwing back to me pure love.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Heaven as described above. Heaven is a real firmament, a real place and beyond anything we can imagine. It is a learning place, a living place. It is our home. We had to leave for the test and a place where we will never be bored. We don't have to compete there, we can 'work' at learning there, we can vacation there, we can learn to play a musical instrument, fish or do all the things we'd love to do here that is good and healthy for our wellbeing. A doctor can study more about the ways humans will learn to heal even. Whatever knowledge you desire to learn, whatever things you wish to make or do, you can. I know this within my soul.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At the moment of being born again, I felt overwhelming love, peace, joy, the knowledge that I was to really learn and live. I felt more alive than here on earth. It was like a heavy armor had dropped off and I was free at last. There was a warmth filling me. It all made perfect sense.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Absolutely! Our purpose is to return to Heaven where we were first created. We are but in this test and it is really very simple. Love. We chose our tests, we were confident before coming here that we could accomplish the test. And we agreed to have erased from memory who we are, why we are here and what Heaven is like. I believe that there is a precise reason why suddenly we all are coming out into the open as to these 'death experiences' and that it is the Will of our Creator we do so. In His time and as He willed it to be. This is a critical time period in the history of earth and we must be alert to LOVE. Our society has created havoc, evil is rampant, and we are more interested in earning more and more money, having more and more things to throw away for the latest, greatest new item and more disinterested in each other. We have less and less respect for life (e.g. abortion, the thought of assisted suicides, etc.) and are even disrespectful towards earth. We care more about racing out into space instead of using the same money to feed the hungry in this world or clothe the naked, or cure the ills. It is easier to give people a pill than to honestly treat the sickness. It's why so many are mentally despondent. We lack love more and more with each passing day. Even the earth is upset, and it is seen in our weather changes and earth changes. Earth is of God, and God has not been hugged by His children for a long, long time.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Nope, only knew that we judge ourselves. There is no big black book jotting down our misdeeds. That is not the point of life here. The point is Love. If we love our self, we must then love Our Creator within us. And love is all that is needed. If we try our hardest with love, and when we fall, ask forgiveness and try again (we are again loving self), we have no need for the review. Not unless we really want to put ourselves through this hell. It is not necessary, but I believe firmly that those who do experience it are doing so in order to regain their footing on the correct pathway, so they don't continue wrongly and possibly be lost to Our Creator.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Often am! My awareness has been accurate and very acute. I can often predict earthquakes. I feel them under my feet hours before they occur. I felt my son being murdered. I saw an eleven car accident I was minutes later in before it occurred so that I was able not to hit anyone as the eleven cars were hitting me. I've seen so many events before they occur and could even tell others what was coming in their lives. I went to church, knelt down at the altar and asked Our Father to take that away from me, that lifting of the veil. I could not endure seeing others' lives before they lived them out nor telling them. And I told Him that I hoped He was not offended by my asking. That was taken from me at that moment and I felt great relief. I have been able to find my husband's hidden children without one clue, just by thinking that I could do it. I believe we all are able to do this, but shouldn't rely on this ability to live out our lives. Knowing future events does not prevent bad ones from occurring because even with you warning, it still happens. Most don't listen. And I would not wish to be turned into a freak, draining my energies on such tasks. It isn't necessary to live our lives as we need.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Absolutely! As I described above, I was directly told that I was returning and although I was saddened to come back here, I have tried to live each day with a smile on my face and as happily as I can no matter how bad it can be. Times have come that I have honestly gone outside and screamed at God, too. He knows it. And then I've felt His spirit hold me and wipe my tears and forgive me for it. So, I know that I cannot hold bad feelings towards others and must ask forgiveness of them and try harder to be the best I can. But, in honesty, I would have preferred staying there. However, God has sent me many joys on earth while here. My treasures are my children, and now my grandchildren.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am not rigid about religion. God chooses who we are, where we are born with us. And it is not our place to judge one religion is the only way to keep the soul in good stead to get back to Our Creator. It's one of the reasons I do not understand Holy Wars. There is nothing Holy about any war. And since I died, I can and have forgiven my enemies. In fact, I pray for the men who killed my son. I want all of them to make it back to Him, and not be lost. And I am serious, too.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I was able to foresee, but asked this be removed. I was also able to telepath, and experimented with Lou, a doctor and his wife, Dorothy (a registered nurse) on this ability. In fact, she had a blowout coming with their five children one night from the Palm Springs area back to the San Fernando Valley, and Lou was at the hospital and we didn't have cell phones then. So, Dorothy telepathically told me where she was broken down, telling me to call Lou at the hospital and to give him the location. I did so (about 11:00 pm) and he found her, changed the tire and then we all talked about this ability. My son, Larry was also an excellent sender and we'd often communicate mentally. And he and I often spoke while he was in a fourteen day coma before finally surrendering to his re-birth. He told me many things that have come true, for he was foretelling events which would occur because of his murder. And they happened. I actually don't try to practice these things.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best was seeing all I did of Heaven, especially the reflection of God's Light. The worst was having to come back here but I have had some very intimate experiences with God that let me know He really cares for all of us more than we realize. So, it's not so bad.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After it occurred, I did. Then just stopped sharing it because no one really seemed to understand it. I had the joy of it, and if they didn't want it, that seemed alright. I did share it with my husband when we met and he seemed to understand it completely. So, it made sense to him if my grandmother came to visit after she died. Or if Mr. McKee gave me a message after his death for his son and daughter-in-law, etc. About three or four years ago, it was almost as if I were pushed to start talking about the experience and in fact, I wanted to write a book about it and my life, as so many doctors and people have said I should. Here it is 4:45 am, I should be in bed and cannot stop writing this and will go to work at 8:00 and could have spent this time starting to write the book. But there you are! Anyway, most people I've discussed this with have thanked me and I mean with great love and appreciation for telling them. I've often told a stranger even, and then been told that they needed (emphasis) to hear this at exactly that moment. So, I believe God is pushing all the NDEs to tell now. He wants our attention.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Events, not medications. I had an out of body experience on 08/01/1957 but didn't truly recognize it until I thought it out afterwards. During spinal surgery, I believed I'd awakened during the operation and could see the operation in the overhead light over the surgery table. And I could see myself lying on the table with my back spread open, and the blood and all, and then some sort of panic as I was flipped to my side and some paddles hitting my chest. But, I thought because that faint memory of this event ended, they'd given me more anesthesia. However, afterwards, the more I thought about it, the more I recognized something happened abnormally, because I could not have been looking up into the light and seeing myself with my back open and me lying on my tummy. So, after I told my mom, she told me the nurse had come out and said they'd lost me because I was bleeding so badly and the doctor had clipped my spinal cord. Then, when they'd revived me, the same nurse came out and told the family that they'd gotten me back. And then the doctor told the family he was terribly sorry but I'd never walk or talk again and that they were unable to do the fusion they'd planned. (T10, 11 & 12 vertebra are honeycomb, egg-shell thin and micro-fractured yet I walk and talk.) Boy, was the doctor ever surprised the next day when I asked to get up and did. I last saw him December 1979. The other time, was at the birth of my last son, 12/18/68 when I suffered cardiac arrest during my cesarean section. Again, it was a brief step out, which I fully understood and fast action pulling me back into my body.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Only that I really was trying hard to call in when you were on with Mike Siegel and couldn't get through the line. And feel so strongly that folks need to know there is really purpose to life and we need to straighten out soon. We're on a terrible downhill skid and need to pull upwards again.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Have you met others who have had a near death experience? I have many times over as if God ordains it now. And NOT through clubs, organizations, etc. that are studying this, but total strangers. Funnier yet, is how easy the conversations begin about the experiences. We seem to know each other and I wonder if we accepted this as a part of our life experience for a GREATER GOOD for God. There definitely is a Bigger Picture here on this subject.