I was on the front of a toboggan sled with my father behind me. The hill was icy. We headed for a large tree and couldn't steer away from it. I remember trying very hard to 'lean right' as he told me but it made no difference. My feet were under a rope and I couldn't jump or roll off. I ended up with a skull fracture, a broken tooth and nose, and lots of bruising. After that, I developed allergies, stomach problems, skin conditions, and scoliosis. I now know those conditions were due to anxiety and PTSD. Years of bodywork and other therapies with flashbacks, anxiety attacks and recreations have helped me understand what happened and why.
I have come to realize I left because I had psychic abilities that were not o.k. to share with my family and other people. I thought it was too hard to deny what I knew and who I was, so I decided to find a way to leave.
When I blacked out, I was bathed in white light. I had a feeling of joy and bliss. I saw a tunnel and heard voices telling me it was okay to go toward it. I could 'see' my distraught father trying to wake me and my mother screaming and running down the hill. I was torn between the bliss and knowing what my death would do to my parents. I chose to return.
I awoke as my father was carrying me up the hill. I was in and out of consciousness on the drive and in the hospital. I remember waking with a bright light overhead as I was getting stitches. For a moment, I wondered if I was in THE light but the feeling wasn't the same.
For 35 years I was numbed out, the freeze part of the sympathetic response, and then began to have flashbacks. I still have some flashbacks periodically, though fewer now than 20 years ago. I am super conscious and sensitive and gaining my psychic and intuitive gifts back also.
Date NDE Occurred: Winter of 1955/56
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Life threatening event, but not clinical death.
I was on the front of a toboggan sled that hit a tree.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes But the facts have not been checked out. I was aware my mother was screaming and my father was distraught. It seemed more of a 'knowing' than a visual or auditory thing. I lost awareness of my body.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The difference was the feeling of bliss and peace that went with the NDE.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the light and looking at the tunnel
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
My earthly experience and other worldly experience seemed to be happening simultaneously.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Much brighter and intense during the experience.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing seemed about the same
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An unusually bright light: Unearthly light
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Bliss and peace but not sure which way to go - forward or back. My concern and compassion toward my parents won out.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Same as I described above: I was aware my mother was screaming and my father was distraught. It seemed more of a 'knowing' than a visual or auditory thing. Bliss and peace felt so good but I was not sure which way to go, forward or back. My concern and compassion toward my parents won out.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was so young I don't know for sure. At the time I went to church and Sunday school with my parents and said prayers to God before meals and bed time. Perhaps this question should have an 'I don't know/remember' answer.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Only a 'knowing' feeling that I was coming home.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I don't remember the experience however I have had that 'knowing' of oneness the rest of my life. Before I flashed back on some of my experience on the other side, I used to wonder how I could know that. Now I feel it came from being on the other side.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain There was a voice guiding me and a light drawing me toward a tunnel yet I knew I had a choice to go or come back. The 'draw' to go on was the feeling of bliss and peace however I didn't have an awareness of what life or existence would be like. I just liked the feeling.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. Before the NDE I was extremely shy and fearful of other people. After the NDE I was still shy but not painfully shy. I did not feel threatened by other people. Moderate changes in my life. Before the NDE I was extremely shy and fearful of other people. After the NDE I was still shy but not painfully shy. I did not feel threatened by other people.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes With my parents I was able to have a less contentious relationship because I wasn't talking about poltergeists and fairies all the time.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My purpose in dying was to relieve myself of the pressure of being psychic. I blocked it after my NDE - The fracture goes through my third eye. I have been reclaiming my psychic powers in the past 20 years.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have never shared this in detail only that it happened, that I saw the light, and that I decided to return. I haven't told many people and those I have told usually don't know what to say and never ask questions.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real As a child I didn't realize the significance of the experience. I didn't talk about it to my parents because they didn't like my psychic abilities and I thought they wouldn't like this. I blocked it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The more I remember about the NDE the more real and significant it feels. As I get older I fear death less, yet many of my peers fear it more.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Bodywork and breath work have brought up aspects of the experience. Process work, through ‘Pathwork’, has helped me realize the significance of the experience and why I came back.