I had a near death experience after I'd been seriously injured in a near fatal automobile accident which caused me to stop breathing necessitating the use of a ventilator and an accompanying coma. Since coming out of my coma, I've had vivid remembrances of the time I was on the other side of the veil in a heavenly realm. There was a bright mist permeating everything.
The light was everywhere - it even passed through me! I can remember looking at my hand and the light passed through it. I could see my hand was transparent, but this did not surprise me. As I walked with this heavenly personage, his countenance shone forth with such a brightness that I can't describe. I knew this heavenly personage was Jesus because I recognized him as a familiar friend. He didn't announce who he was because this wasn't necessary. I remember walking with Jesus, but we weren't walking in the physical sense, the best way I can describe our walking was that we were walking in mid-air, floating above the ground of this beautiful garden we were walking in.
Everything in this garden had an overall whiteness and brightness about it. I was seeing the bright green of the plants. I could see the water, and a bright glow surrounded it and the burbling of the water had a musical sound to it, this stream of water fairly sang! The water was so sparkling clear! I remember wanting to bend over and take a drink from the stream that was running through this garden we were walking through. When I tried to scoop up water with my hands the water ran through my hands, literally, and it wasn't wet! Jesus stopped walking and looked at me while I was bent over trying to drink this water. I could feel his eyes on me. My thirst for this water even though I wasn't able to put it to my lips and drink it was gone at that moment! I can't describe the sensation I felt when the water was running through my hands, but I did feel something. I felt this overwhelming desire to experience everything about this garden.
When Jesus and I talked it wasn't with our mouths, but I knew we were communicating, his countenance fairly shone, and how he felt about me shone forth about him. He simply exuded love and concern and caring for me just by standing there. The feeling of peace I felt was indescribable! I was given the choice that I could either come back to this earth and live more life or stay with him there in Heaven. We both knew that returning to this earth would be a struggle because I'd told him that I wanted to return to this earth if I could help myself and others. He knew that I didn't want to live more life on this earth if life meant being trapped in an unresponsive body, unable to communicate. The look of love in his eyes filled me with joy then, and as I remember that feeling of joy I felt then I'm filled with joy anew now.
I don't know how I did this, but then I remember that I was in a hospital room looking at my husband holding my hand and talking to me. Only I wasn't seeing from the vantage point through my own eyes. I recognized that was my body, but I was outside of it, looking at my body from above. As I viewed this scene, I felt a strong desire to return to this earth and live more life with my husband, if I could communicate with him and help him. I was understood and the desires of my heart were heard. The next thing I remember was being trapped in my body while others cared for my physical needs. I can remember that I could tell what the nurses were thinking about me by how they touched me. I knew if they thought I was going to live or not through their touch. I knew if they thought they were caring for a dead person whose spirit wasn't there. I remember trying to scream out, 'Look! I'm alive! I'm in here! I'm going to live!' I relaxed and trusted that person much more if I knew that they knew they were caring for a living person. I obviously could read their thoughts!
While in my spirit body I remember communicating telepathically, this is how Jesus and I communicated in that heavenly garden. It was so easy, it required no effort, you thought the thoughts and they were communicated. Speaking through my physical mouth is so difficult, and frustrating, and sometimes you're misunderstood, and they get the wrong meaning of what you're trying to say. The phrase the world uses of being soulmates is referring to the communication between two souls, spirit to spirit communication. To communicate on a spiritual level is a very profound experience.
I believe I've had this spiritual gift ever since my near death experience, and this gift profoundly blesses my life as I use it. I feel this great need to communicate on a spiritual level with others, and one of the only ways I'm able to communicate in this way is through writing. I have to prepare myself mentally to be able communicate on a spiritual level. You have the time to do this as you are writing in your home, without distractions. We are what we think. I find trivial thoughts distracting, I rarely watch TV and then only if it stimulates good thoughts. I listen to different music now, and gravitate towards the ethereal. My near death experience has changed me, I desire righteousness and I abhor evil. I'm actually quite thankful for my accident, even though it has changed my physical abilities adversely, but at the same time my spiritual abilities have blossomed enormously! Ever since I woke up from my coma, I've had an attitude of peaceful hopefulness. I believe the reason why I still live, one of the reasons I came back to this earth to live is because I'm supposed to testify that the spirit world is real and beautiful, and that Jesus is who he says he is, he is our brother, and we knew him well as a friendly brother in the spirit world. This knowledge, this belief, affects every facet of my life, and my desire to communicate this to others. I believe this is why I came back, to live more life to relate this to all who will listen.
Here is a sample of one of my poems. ======================== Waiting for answers to my prayers is a movement of my heart; I am consciously abandoning thoughts of what I thought God would say to me, and being still and waiting. I give myself time this morning to hear God's quiet voice. I give up my expectation of what I think he'll do, and give him a chance to do what is best for me. In watching the sunrise and awaiting God's voice, I see in the dark morning sky a faint predawn light. A rosy glow is spreading from the horizon to the edges of clouds. Orange gold beams of light are spreading out fan like to touch the top branches of trees, to travel downward to bushes, to the cold, dark earth. The darkness has fled, illuminating me; I feel the rosy glow of his love, the warmth of his spirit with me, as I await answers to my prayer I prayed in the predawn dimness. I am preparing myself to hear his voice as I watch the sunrise. As I see the beams of sunlight breaking forth from the clouds, my soul finds joy! My spiritual aptitude is growing, as I watch in thankful silence seeing the day dawn breaking as I wait, listening for God's voice this morning. What a beautiful way to begin a day! Waiting. . . . This is my first poem I wrote after coming out of my NDE to share with others. I gave this to all the ladies at my church who had volunteered to go walking with me because I needed assistance during my initial rehabilitation. This poem was given out on Mother's Day 1998; I had come home from the hospital in November 1997.
THANK YOU, FRIEND
I'm in a deep fog,
in a beautiful garden,
walking and talking to the Lord.
I told Jesus
I wanted to stay on this earth,
to finish my earthly probation.
I told him I believed I was strong
enough to face the adversities
and temptations that awaited me,
with his help. Jesus promised me
that I'd never be alone,
his spirit would always be with me,
giving me courage..
Jesus told me he'd send help
from his servants who listen to him
Jesus told me
that he had compassion for me,
that he loved me,
that he knew I'd come back to him,
and that he'd give me the help to do so.
Buoyed up by his promises,
and believing him,
I came back to this world.
I came out of my coma,
against all odds,
and I began to fight!
Jesus kept his promises.
I've had his spirit with me,
and all the help I need
from his servants who listen,
You! Thank you
for being the Lord's servant,
for keeping yourself open to his spirit.
I know the promises I made to the Lord,
and his promises to me will happen,
with his help. You are the Lord's strength,
his help, and he is yours.
What a beautiful friendship!
Thank you, Friend
Date NDE Occurred: Sept 8. 1997
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death
I had a traumatic head injury and stopped breathing. I had to be resuscitated and put on a demand respirator for one to two weeks because I would often stop breathing.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was in a coma, the experience slowly came back to me after I'd come out my coma and I was rehabilitating.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I knew I was in a heavenly garden, and who I was talking to; I knew I was floating above my hospital bed looking at my body in the bed and my husband talking to my body.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Jesus, I recognized him we spoke together non-verbally.
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was everywhere! The plants and the water glowed from within.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A heavenly garden, with a singing stream running through it.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I feel very loved and protected and wish to share my NDE with people.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Nothing I didn't already know, it's came to me with a stronger force, I now KNOW that Jesus is real not just have an uncertain faith of him.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Read my NDE I emailed you for details.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist LDS
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist LDS
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I feel a stronger need to share with people my religious feelings, before I was ho hum and cautious to proceed in this area.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When I speak about it I used to be overcome with emotion remembering.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can often read other thoughts, and know of their intentions. Who to reach to, and who to avoid.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Looking into Jesus' face and reading the negative thoughts of the nurses about my chances of survival.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I thought it might prove helpful to the people caring for the brain injured rehabilitating if I tell you in more detail my own personal rehabilitation process. Let me tell you a little personal background information first. I am a registered nurse, in fact, the day of the accident, I had taken my sixteen year old son to the Department of Motor Vehicles to take his driving test for the second time, after he'd failed earlier, so he could have his first driver's license. I let him drive home from the Department of Motor Vehicles where he was going to switch to an old Mustang we'd bought him, and then he was going to go to high school and I was going to see some patients I saw in their homes that were expecting me. I worked for an 'In Home Health' place here in Las Vegas. Instead, the course of my life changed forever that day.
While driving home my son came up to what he thought was a four way stop. He stopped, and then pulled out in front of a gravel truck, fully loaded, and heading from the gravel pits on our side of town. My son, Clint, thinking it had to stop pulled out in front of it, not knowing that it didn't have to stop, the intersection was only a two way stop. The truck was on the gravel truck route, which has been rerouted now after my accident, and several other accidents had occurred at this exact intersection. Anyway, the truck hit the driver's side of my brand new Chevy Prism, (three weeks old), my son, Clint, was not wearing a seat belt, and neither was I. The police said that if he'd been wearing his seat belt, he'd have been crushed and killed and I would have walked away, without a scratch. The truck dragged us eighty feet before it stopped, and I think we had to be cut out of the car. My memory is totally blanked out of the accident occurring. The last memory I have of that day was talking to my boss for Hospice nurses on my cell phone at the DMV waiting for Clint while he took his driving test with my car. (I also saw patients in their homes for hospice social services as well as for In Home Health nursing.) As you can see, I was one busy, productive lady then!
Clint was knocked unconscious, suffered a pneumothorax, some cracked ribs and a broken collar bone on his left side. He remembers coming to in the ambulance. I was much more seriously injured; I had to be resuscitated, either at the scene, or in route to the trauma center, at UMC, where I underwent emergency surgery for a hemothorax (blood clot) on my brain, and abdominal exploratory surgery. My husband was notified at work of my accident and he called my two places I worked at that they'd have to get someone else see those patients and he informed them of my auto accident. Nurses from both agencies showed up at the hospital, reviewed my records and status, and knew how seriously I had been injured, and that my death was expected imminently. The Chaplain for Safe Harbor Hospice, (now called Odyssey) held a prayer service for me at a Lutheran church and invited all the nurses from In-House Home Health as well. I know they came because a book was given to me later where the people who attended this prayer service had signed in and wrote notes of encouragement to me. All the members of my ward congregation were asked to fast and pray for me all on the same day.
My parents, in Utah, who were temple workers, a temple for the Mormon church, had my name written on the prayer list of names prayed for by those attending the temple that day for all the temples in the western United States that day. Prayer is a tangible force, a power for good here on this earth! Three weeks after the accident, many people asked me what was the first thing I thought or felt when I came out of my coma. What I felt, was the incredible feeling of power by being thought of by many and them praying for my recovery to God. I could feel his love and compassion for me, and I believe this communication led to my incredible experience with Christ in that heavenly garden. I now no longer hope that there is heaven and that Christ's life experience and atonement are real. Now, I know! Just like I know that, I gave birth to all five of my children and tangibly held them in my arms. My testimony of Christ burns within me, now when I think of him; I have a visual memory of him looking at me there in that heavenly garden.
The love and concern in his eyes for me is overwhelming if I think about it too long I feel emotionally overwrought. Since my accident all my emotions have been on the surface, many would think I'm emotionally immature, like a kid. I am an innocent, emotionally, I say what I think, I'm very honest, but I've never said anything cruel or hurtful to anyone, just my observations surprise people, and quite often they don't quite know how to take me. My husband is very protective of me, but he is often happily surprised how I say and do things now. He quite often says now I've lost the cautiousness I used to have in conversations with others, he says my naïveté is refreshing. I now pray each day for and follow the promptings of the spirit of whom I should talk to and about what, my soul tells me who I should speak with and whom is distracted by other things, who wouldn't listen to what I had to say and if they have good motives.
I was in a Convalescent Care Center for about a month, that's where I came out of my coma. Then I went to a Rehabilitation Hospital for two days. They had told my husband that I'd receive physical therapy and speech therapy and occupational therapy every day and that these therapies would aid in my recovery but my parents had come from Utah to see me and assist in my care, because my husband had to go to work each weekday. So what we all came up with was that I would go home and my parents would stay for as long as I needed their help, and that I would receive the therapies I needed from In House Home Health, from my friends. All my rehabilitative therapies have been done in my home. From walking around my house. Exercising, walking around the block with my physical therapist, from throwing and catching a foam ball with my affected side, to carrying a weight in my left hand while exercising. The exercises got even more complicated when the occupational therapist starting making visits. I had lots of memory exercises and hand eye coordination stuff to do, and in between their visits I was doing rehabilitative stuff for myself just by doing things caring for our home, instead of being tied in a bed peeing on myself because no one answered my call button to untie me and take me to the bathroom.
Everyone rallied around me, my dad would massage my sore spastic muscles each morning after I got out of a Jacuzzi tub we have in our master bathroom, and then we'd go for a walk together, this is during the same period of time the therapists were coming to the house. My nephew is a Chiropractor, but he lives in Laughlin, but his partner lives and practices here in Vegas, and so for about three months, I went to his partner three times a week, finally graduating down to once a week. My parents stayed for one month, and then I was able to care for myself at home. The ladies in my church all signed up at a Relief Society meeting for different days of the week to go walking with me. I now have many interested friends, involved in my life, because they had volunteered then to go walking with me. In fact, even now, when I do too many repetitive motions with my left hand, like typing, I get painful muscle knots around my left shoulder blade, and my left hand starts to cramp.