This is a copy of a message I sent to my Pastor, Father Austin. Father Austin asked me to watch a presentation on television of three near death experiences to see if it was as I had seen during my event. Right after my event, I wrote down everything, to not forget any of the details.
Dear Father Austin:
I have absolutely no fear of death now. My attitude on life in general changed as well. I used to be very anxious. Now nothing bothers me. Things are not that important any more. I see things much more clearly. I notice the little things in my daily life. I appreciate things more.
Mass has a totally new meaning. I feel the presence of Jesus especially when I sing at Mass. I remember my first Mass after open-heart surgery. As I walked up for Communion, I couldn't wait to receive. I almost ripped the host out of your hand.
Their description of total peace and comfort is what I also felt. I didn't see a spirit. I knew the spirit was with me and it made me feel completely comfortable in my surroundings. I was completely enveloped by the feeling of absolute peace and tranquility. I also had, as they described, a feeling of total love. I felt the spirit. I felt surrounded by its presence.
The scene that was unfolding in front of me was a brilliant swirling of very intense colors. The background was HD brilliant Blue. The most vibrant Blue I've ever seen. I started to make out forms coming together. The first form I recognized was my Father. He was smiling at me with a look of total understanding. He was holding the hand of a little boy. I recognized him as my brother who died when he was age 2. I never knew him. I was the last of five children my parents had. His name was John but they called him Jackie. People started to be clear to me as I thought of them. I could see my Mother holding a baby. I immediately knew it was Arline who died when she was 9 months old. Mom was smiling, holding the baby so I could see her.
I thought of my brother Jerry who died when he was 65. He was standing between Dad and Mom, behind them. As the forms became clear, I recognized a lot of people I knew. All of a sudden, I realized everyone I was seeing had all died. I remember thinking 'Why am I only seeing people who have passed away?' I wasn't frightened; I just thought it was strange. As I thought of people, I could see them. This multitude of people was not encouraging me to stay. I felt they were there to let me know I wasn't alone. One by one, I thought of people who had gone before me. As I thought of them, they became clear and I could see them. Everyone was in the same posture. They all had a knowing smile on their face. No gestures of any kind, just a feeling they wanted me to know I was not alone and they understood completely.
I suddenly felt another presence. I could hear voices. I was back in the operating room lying on a table looking at the backs of my doctors who were looking up at a screen. I couldn't tell what they were looking at. They were VERY intense while they looked at it. One Doctor had his finger up in the air. He was saying 'Okay, there's another' then he would flick his finger. Thirty or forty seconds went by and he'd flick his finger again saying 'There's another'.
One Doctor wanted to 'Push' something. The other two wanted to wait. Doctor B still had his finger in the air. He said 'There's another', 'There's another', There's another'. He breathed a big sigh of relief and said 'Okay, we've got steady rhythm'. He turned when I said 'Is everything OK?' Doctor B leaned over, getting right in my face, and said with a big smile on his face 'Welcome back Mr. Dennis. I'll see you again in recovery'. He left the Operating Room, as did the other two Doctors, rather quickly I might add.
I will never forget the experience. I feel truly blessed. It has changed my life. I know God has a plan for me. My Open Heart surgery was a little over a year later, January 10, 2013. I remember my Cardiologist sitting by my hospital bed telling me, 'Mr. Dennis I want you to know I held the healthiest heart I've ever operated on with your heart.' He said my Heart Muscle was like a 30 year old but my plumbing was like a 90 year old. He said you have a completely new life ahead of you. You can do anything you want after you complete Cardiac physical re-habilitation. He had no idea how I physically got into his hospital. He didn't understand how I got out of my car and walked into the hospital. I know how and why. I've got more to do in this earth. I feel like a new man. I truly can do anything I want. When it's time, I'll have no fear whatsoever. I know I won't be alone when I transition from this life to the next. I will cherish every day that God has given me. God bless, Dennis
Date NDE Occurred: 11/23/2011
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I was undergoing Brachytherapy for Prostate Cancer. This was the second internal procedure where anesthesia was used.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I woke up once seeing the Doctors around the monitor then out I faded. I don't know how long I was out the second time. To experience what I vividly remember seemed like a long time. I just don't have a time line. I remember my feeling of complete release and the feeling of total love and understanding with what I call 'The Spirit' that was present with me. I can't say it was next to me or behind me, it felt as if it was totally surrounding me.
I went back and ordered all of my medical records from Brachytherapy 1 and compared them to Brachytherapy 2. I had my Cardiologist read over the Anesthesia portion to see if they changed anything from 1 to 2. Everything was the same in both procedures. I met with Doctor B who was in both procedures and told him of my experience. He looked me right in the eye and said 'Mr. Dennis, you have a remarkable memory for events.' He immediately left the room saying nothing more to me. He agreed with me that my understanding of what was said and what was going on was exactly how it happened in the Operating Room.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
As I thought of people they instantly became clear and I could see them.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Having gone through Brachytherapy 1 a week earlier I was totally calm about Brachytherapy 2 knowing what I was going to experience. I was not anxious at all about the second procedure.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I only remember hearing Doctor B saying 'There's one' and pausing. Then I went out again. When I heard him again I opened my eyes the second time with my head tilted over so I could see him and the other Doctors.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Family & friends
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The background was a brilliant Blue. The swirling forms were in various subdued colors as compared to the Blue. They slowly came into focus as human forms. Then I started to recognize people as I thought of them, starting with my Father who passed away when I was 25.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total peace. A total release from any Earthly bond
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith which I have practiced on a weekly basis all of my life.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am much more aware of God's presence in my daily life. I really get into my Mass as never before.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic As stated above, I have been a practicing Catholic all of my life attending services on a weekly basis and on all Holy Days.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience See memo above of the actual experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes As previously stated
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No I only saw individuals that had gone before me as I thought of them. "I wonder if Mich'l is here?" Then I'd see him I was constantly thinking of people. "Is Clyde and Iris here?" I then saw them standing next to each other smiling at me. On and on it wen
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt totally at one with who ever was there with me in spirit. I had not a care in the world. A feeling of total release.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably existsÂ
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt that everyone I was seeing was there to let me know I was not alone.
I felt they were there to support me which ever direction I was going to take.
Just support to let me know I was not alone in this experience.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. As previously stated
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I definitely have changed in my every day experiences. I now take time to smell the roses and look at everything with intensity and interest. I especially take the time now, to look at my Grand Children and Children without a passing interest. I want to know everything they are doing and love to share the experiences with them all.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No It is burned into my memory. Although, even though I try to recreate the event I can't. Nothing comes close to what I experienced.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience This experience is burned into my memory for the rest of my life.
It was a life altering event. As I've previously stated, I care not not.
Nothing bothers me anymore. I used to have the typical Irish Temper. Fly off into a rant at the slighest event. Not any more. Most of the time I just smile or laugh at what's just happened.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I truly feel that when my time comes to pass from this world, I will not be alone. My loved ones that have gone before me will surround me. I feel when time ends, we simply transition into another dimension of absolute peace and tranquility, surrounded by family and friends. The only upsetting thing I do remember is I did not see any of our previous pets, although, I did not try to recall any of them. I was too busy thinking of people.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared my experience with my Small Faith Community and family immediately after.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real In total. Complete recall.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, you've covered it quite well.