I was attending an evening lecture at my son's high school concerning preparing your child for college. As the lecture let out, I told my husband and son I didn't feel very good. In fact, I felt quite ill. Within minutes, it was clear to me I was likely having a heart attack. I told my husband we needed to get to the hospital. Stunned and surprised, he readily agreed and the three of us raced off to the emergency room. 10-15 minutes later, we arrived. By then, I was feeling fine and a bit foolish. I was hoping it was all a big "to do" about nothing. I was quickly checked over in a basic way and all vital signs appeared normal. We waited for one of the exam rooms to become free.
About 30 minutes later, we were taken to an exam room, I was hooked up to an EKG monitor and nurses started asking questions, checking blood pressure and the like. In mid-sentence, I interrupted the questions to report my symptoms seemed to be coming back, but much more strongly now. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe, I was sweating and nauseated and on the brink of losing consciousness. I could hear the room explode in turmoil. A wonderful nurse came to my side, rubbed my arm and reassuringly whispered, 'Okay, now. You ARE having a heart attack.'
Then some young doctor burst in. He ran right up to me and exclaimed, 'Yeah-you're having a heart attack. And it's the absolute worst possible kind you can have!' I didn't know what the heck to do with that information, so I just decided to tune him out. I was given three separate doses of nitroglycerin, which temporarily roused me, but lasted only minutes. I touched the nurse as she was passing me and quietly told her I hoped they could get me out of the room soon. I didn't think I could last much longer. (I hoped to get to surgery, but if I wasn't going to make it, I didn't want to die in front of my son and husband.) Then they gave me a shot of morphine, though I did not feel 'high' or drugged at all. It just kept me alive a little longer while they assembled their team. As soon as all was ready in the 'Cath Lab,' they ran my gurney down the hall. We were flying. I had been informed I would be somewhat drugged, but awake the entire time. Once inside the lab, a team of medical people sprang into action.
I waved goodbye to my tearful son and frightened husband through the window. I could see and hear the medical team were rattled. I tried to calm them and told them it was okay, everything would be fine. Then, I just remember a feeling of sliding away from it all, my body and all the worries. I remember telling myself to surrender to it.
The next thing I can recall is becoming aware of some piece of medical equipment that was suspended from the ceiling right above me, as it came into focus. I thought how beautiful a shape it had and wondered what it was. Then I began to hear the doctor's voice and felt some gentle bodily sensations and realized where I was. I was surprised and thought, 'Huh! I'm still alive! The heart attack is over and I'm not in pain. How 'bout that! Wow!'
The next day, while in the hospital, I recalled a 'vision' I had at some point in the last 24 hours. I cannot recall all of it, nor exactly when it occurred. Yet I remember being up on a hillside, beside a big bend in a river. It was the Brown's River to be exact... right where it runs through the middle of my little town! In my vision the river was overflowing with people. People from every nation, culture, and time period in history. The water rushed and gurgled, sparkling about with reflected light. There was an air of celebration and joy about the throng.
Shining down upon this sea of humanity was a blindingly beautiful light, pink, golden and white-brilliantly luminous. A sort of 'voice' or realization arose within me and spoke. Although nobody appeared, I felt the presence of something immense and eternal standing to my right. It informed me that the people I was seeing, were all those who had ever lived. Yet here they were-alive! It told me that all of them were me! Not only that, but I was each of them! I understood this presence was 'God.' Then God made it clear that all these people and I were God and that He was us. He told me that there was no 'death.'
I was seeing life's continuance, a never-ending flow of humanity, moving within the stream of Life. It was a beautiful, eternal flow, which we're forever part of. I was stunned, amazed, and filled with wonder at it all. I was trying to take this all in. To make sense of it all... and then the vision was over. I don't recall 'coming back' to myself, or 'awakening.' I just know the following day that I was trying to process this vision.
Date NDE Occurred: 'November 1, 2012'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I had a heart attack and 'threw a clot.'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It differed in that I found myself experiencing 'truths' as they were 'revealed' to me. Telepathy, if you will and telepathy with God, no less! This does not normally happen to me-ever.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not sure I understand the question. During this vision, I was alert the entire time. Right at the very end, I had all of this rather shocking information I was trying to absorb, so perhaps that is when I felt most intensely... if that's what you mean.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Visually, this was the same as my normal everyday vision. The only difference was the 'unearthly' pinkish, golden brilliant light at the center of the scene. Perhaps it should be noted that I am a visual artist. Perhaps my 'normal,' everyday vision takes in a little bit more, or slightly different information than people typically get?
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was focused internally, within my body, where 'God's' voice arose within me. I could hear some joyous sounds of the people in the river, yet the sounds were seemingly remote... even though they were physically quite close. It was as if my ears just tuned in on what was critical.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain No tunnel. But I do recall telling myself to just surrender to it all as the doctors began the procedure on me. And as I said this to myself, a sense of falling away from everything including myself.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm My vision depicted an actual, real place which took on other worldly proportions and qualities. It transformed into a place of great beauty and mystery, a glimpse of heaven on earth.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Wonderment.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was given a glimpse of the mystical qualities of life and death. It seemed more than could properly be absorbed, yet it was a single, humble 'peek.' It did not encompass all knowledge, yet much more than I had grasped before.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Consider myself a spiritual person but have no personal interest in belonging to any religion. Was raised as a Catholic and was very involved in my church but grew out of it by my early 20's.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Consider myself to be spiritual, with no religious interest.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No I saw all of humanity. And was told that each individual was God...
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes See above.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes See above.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes God speaking within me.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes See above narrative.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life It was largely reassuring. I feel more centered, more self-assured, and less fearful. I am more open to joy.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain Seem happier, more positive.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes In that words can only describe such a vision to another person's brain. You cannot evoke the actual experience for another person. You cannot put them in a state that will allow them to 'feel' what you did.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Three to five days, I think. The reactions I've received were as I would've expected. People listen with rapt attention. They express some kind of mild 'wow' response, and have questions. But clearly I can only relay a 'story' of sorts. Interesting, but what can others do with it. Perhaps only turn it over in their minds and perhaps feel a bit more hopeful.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Just that they existed and that more and more has been gathered and researched in recent decades.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Some of the instructions got a little wordy and I wasn't sure what you were asking. Had to read through again.