Experience Description

I was taken to the emergency room at Kaiser hospital because I had tried to kill myself two days before and that afternoon I was really beginning to feel the effects; my body was cramping up and I had trouble walking like I was becoming paralyzed like someone after a stroke. My neck was being pulled sideways, as if my head was trying to rotate all the way around. When I went to the hospital, it was probably around 10:00 pm nearly forty-eight hours since I took the pills and sliced my wrist. My mother had noticed the scabs on my wrists so she took me to the hospital.

After arriving and waiting for a while, I was taken to a room where I was told to drink a lot of water (I was alert at the time but weak, somewhat sluggish, but I understood what people were saying) then everything. I remember it was after 1:00 am. Then it got hazy and I don't remember anything until I was above my body. I was facing a ways back from the foot of the bed that I was on. I was watching the medical staff (three or four people) on either side of my bed then someone had the paddles in their hands and they were shocking my body.

I don't remember hearing anything, or seeing a light or anything like that. I was really feeling great. I wasn't afraid. I was just thinking how cool it was watching my body bounce when I was shocked.

I don't remember returning to my body, just when I woke up I was so out of it I remember being wheeled away to a private room and when I woke up the next day the housekeeper came in to empty the trash, and he asked me why I was hooked up to the heart monitor. He thought I had a heart condition but I was so young.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: May 1985

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt I saw the doctor use the paddles to shock my body. I never talked to my parents about this or know for sure if it did happen, but they did have me on a heart monitor during my hospital stay. Attempted suicide.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I didn't see myself but I was up there looking down at my body. I don't know if it was me up there or my soul or what. I never thought of that.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I said I don't remember hearing anything. But I was very aware of where I was (in both places) and what I saw, as I was focused on what was going on down below.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No I don't think so. I'm not sure if I know what that is.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No sounds were heard, that I recall.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt so great I can't explain, like full of energy, not tired, no sadness. Just happy. I like it.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No I was happy where I was, I had no urge to return.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal I was brought up in an atheist family.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Now, I believe there is something out there after death. As for heaven I don't know, just there is something. We don't just die. I am a little afraid now because I don't know what was out there, as I said I, never made it passed where I was at.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was all fantastic!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my sister and she was alarmed, as she is a born again Christian. My husband too, he was envious.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Two years later I had smoked something I later was told had Angel Dust in it. It was a great feeling. I was floating or so I thought, but in my real experience I didn't have the same feeling, I didn't feel like I was floating I was just up there.