Experience Description

On Friday, November 4, 2011, I returned to work still not feeling well. I had taken the previous two days off due to what I thought was tremendous stomach bloat. I had eaten way too much of my granddaughter’s birthday cake during the week and thought that must be the cause of the distress.

About 3pm a couple of office workers told me I didn’t look well and perhaps I should go home. As I was driving the six miles to my home, my lower back was becoming increasingly painful. I prayed to get me home safely just so I could lay down. When I arrived home, I was surprised to see my daughter Amy was there, which was unusual. She asked me why I was home and I told her to call 911 fast. Then I dropped to my knees.

The paramedics took me from my bedroom into the ambulance as I was later told. I came to in the ambulance and was screaming for pain medication. They said they couldn’t give me anything until I was diagnosed. The pain was so horrific by then (about 3:45) I couldn’t endure it. I was going in and out of consciousness. I heard them talking about my blood pressure dropping quickly and my pulse was very low. I managed to tell them to just keep doing their thing and to drive faster because I was going away for a while.

They agreed they better do what I said.

Next thing I remember is being in the emergency triage in my own room with glass doors. I was all hooked up but struggled to get off the bed because I had to use the bathroom. Still the pain was incredible. Right across from my room there was an elderly lady in a Johnnie sitting on a cement bench, like you would see in a cemetery or in a park. She was just staring at me. Her mouth was closed but I’ll never forget her eyes. I was yelling at her to help me! She didn’t move, just continued to stare at me with those eyes. I continued to scream at her to get a doctor and she never moved. Then slowly she got up and walked away. After what felt like hours, the pain stopped and again I was in an ambulance. When I woke, a doctor was yelling in my face. He said I was going into a different hospital because they didn’t have the team I needed. I told him he didn’t have to yell. I wasn’t deaf.

He explained I had ruptured an Abdominal Aortic Aneurism (AAA). I asked him to write it down because I would never remember that. Then I noticed he was on my cell phone. He was talking to my son Adam. I told him not to scare my kids. To say that I was just going away for a while and to please return my cell phone to my pocketbook.

Then the ambulance was filled with operating room nurses and doctors prepping me for what was to come.

Months later, my daughter told me that when the technician in the first hospital did an ultrasound and detected the aneurism they gave me morphine for the pain. I asked her how she knew that and she said ‘Grace,’ (my granddaughter) ‘and I were with you the whole time. ‘I had no idea they had followed the ambulance. I said ok, and then you must have seen the elderly lady in the johnnie sitting on the cement bench. She laughed and asked what I was talking about. There were only nurses running about frantically. They don’t even have cement benches in the emergency room! At that moment, I realized she was an angel, sent to get me through the pain. I can still see her close mouthed face, her eyes boring into me without a word.

I have no recollection of arriving at the hospital, meeting any doctors, or being wheeled into the operating room.

All I know is that I was floating, upward for a while, then just forward and there was so much to look at. I was very warm and comfortable and felt pure love and joy at being there. The path I floated down had magnificent columns of undulating soft pastel colors. Columns from far below to higher than I could see. There was an underlying music all around me. The music of the vibration of color? I felt as though I was heading for the sun, but there was no glare and the temperature was perfect. I realized I was in Heaven.

Thirty years prior to this near death experience, I had an experience after giving birth to my daughter. I floated upward in a white tunnel. At the top, my Great Grandmother greeted me. She was dressed in her house dress with her usual apron. She hugged and kissed me and told me I had to go back, it wasn’t my time. I told her it was ok and let her know I wanted to stay. I even asked her for one good reason why I had to leave. She reminded me of the new baby girl I just had and told me all will be fine and that she would see me soon enough. She was the catalyst of my desire to become a Medium and still is!

Getting back. After traveling through the columns, I came to an enormous opening. The feeling of comfort, warmth and love I was experiencing was more than I had ever imagined and I knew then that I did not want or need to return. At the opening, I was gently veered off to the left towards the entrance of the most magnificent cathedral type structure. I floated in high above where the floor might be.

Again, I floated inside the huge cathedral-like structure for a while. I briefly wondered where all my deceased loved ones were. Surely, someone would come greet me!

At that point, I came to an archway intricately patterned in the most beautiful colors. I could actually see the archway breathing. As I floated in to the tremendous hall, I saw my mother below me to the left sitting on the edge of a settee dressed in an off-white gauze flowing skirt and billowing blouse. So unlike her.

I was so happy to see her. I floated close to her and asked what she was staring at. She slowly averted her head in the direction of yet another huge hall, which was a soft glowing white. I could deeply feel her sadness and remorse.

I slowly floated toward the next hall and instantly knew why she was so sad.

I was stopped from going further, but could clearly see myself lying on a table surrounded by seven doctors. I was being operated on. The only part of me that could be seen was my closed eyes, some bangs and my heart feverishly being repaired.

I told my mother to stop them because it was ok with me if I stayed with her right where I was. She said, without moving her lips, that it was not our decision.

With reverence, my mom made me look again closer. It was then I saw four highly ascended healers working very closely with the doctors. At the head of the operating table was my head surgeon. On each side of the table were the remaining six doctors. Two healers were positioned behind the three doctors on the left side and two healers were standing behind the doctors on the right side of the table.

The healers were from long ago eras. The undulating colors of their gowns were deep purples and greens. Their headdresses were like the pope’s tall roundish triangle shaped miter (mat-ra). The miters were very deep red and gold. They were from different parts of the ancient world.

I tried to enter the hall and tell them to stop but I was forced to stop by a very powerful, loving energy.

I floated back to be closer to my mother. I told her I understood her sadness. I understood she couldn’t keep me there and she made me understand I would be ok. So we sat together for a very long time. I became overwhelmed by sorrow and regret knowing I had to return. Yet I knew these spirit forces were not to be argued with.

As the operation progressed, I could feel the doctors begin to relax. They chatted among themselves and patted each other on the back. My mother had gone. I felt very tired and alone as I entered my earthly consciousness.

When I woke about twelve hours later, my nurse welcomed me back. She briefly explained my condition. I asked how much time had I missed and she told me to forget about it because I would never be able to put the pieces back together again. She didn’t know me very well.

My physical recovery was long and arduous and not without residual symptoms. I learned I had only one working kidney. I could only see deep purple out of my right eye. My digestive system had to be retrained to eat only certain foods. I couldn’t stay awake for more than four hours at a time.

Emotionally, I was a mess. I was angry that I returned. My surgeon told me he hears that often when people undergo difficult surgeries. I told my family about my trip to Heaven. They listened intently but I felt like I wasn’t being heard. So as time passed I became depressed. I wasn’t me anymore. The things I loved to do before I couldn’t do anymore.

Because my boss decided to let me go after my detour, my finances were a disaster, which added to the chaos I was feeling emotionally.

Then I made a deal. Angrily, I told God that if he wants me to be here on earth then it’s up to him to show me the way to endure. He’s the one who gave all of us free will yet he took away my free will when I was in Heaven. I was spiritually confused.

Every day when I woke I reminded him that he had to help me. I promised I would be patient and do what I had to do on my part. After a few months, my affairs fell into place in the most unusual ways from the least likely sources I could ever imagine! Yet I still felt unconnected.

Over a year later, a friend had suggested I look into the Greater Boston International Association of Near Death Studies group. At the first meeting I attended, a man sat across from me who had a glow surrounding him, which was undeniable. I just had to speak with him.

After the meeting I approached him and told him, he was singing my song. He clearly knew what I meant and validated all my mixed up feelings. He had his near death experiences about fifteen years prior and told me I had a ways to go before I felt ‘normal’ again. He simply said ‘choose life’ you already know where you are going to end up! I told him I felt like I had a leg down here and a leg up there. He suggested on tough days to reach up and grab a piece of what I know to be reality and bring it down here. I will forever be indebted to him and his ever so helpful words of wisdom.

Since then I have been free to appreciate my life and all of the circumstances. I feel now that I can sit back and simply watch it unfold. I know there is nothing more important in this world than love and that love never dies. I learned there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I now truly believe everything happens for a reason, which, if we are patient, will unfold right before our eyes. I have truly come to understand the true meaning of faith. Unlike hope, which is always there, faith is based on knowing.

As a Medium, communicating with spirit for many years, I felt my life wouldn’t be changed too much. Yet looking back, I see there are so many changes. Changes that have embedded themselves into my soul. My life is calmer and quieter than before my detour. I crave a lot of alone time. I pray more and with focus. There is no control. It truly is an illusion.

Now two years later I am living a totally different life spiritually. Hope is always there, it is based on desire, but faith is based on knowing. I choose faith.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 11/4/2011

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Other: I could hear medical staff saying they lost me 2-3 times. Survival rate of a ruptured Abdominal Aortic Aneurism is minimal at best.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes There were so many nurses and doctors practically yelling at each other in panic and arranging to transport me as they could not perform the operation there. They didn't have facilities or team of doctors for the operation I needed. My son was on the phone with the doctor and he said I told him not to scare my children. I'd be ok. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal Humans are able to escape tremendous pain and go out of body. I know I did just by breathing and praying as best I could.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Probably until they gave me pain medication. I remember telling the paramedics to do their thing because I was going to go someplace to ease the pain as they couldn't give me anything because they did not know what was going on. Funny, but they said let’s do what she says, like I wasn't there to hear.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time stood still. It is an unparalleled universe.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw an older woman in a hospital Johnnie sitting outside the triage room on a stone bench, as you may see in a park or cemetery. She was just staring at me with no reaction as I was screaming at her to help me. That seemed to last for a long time. My daughter told me months later that she and my granddaughter were with me the whole time, until the diagnosis, and there was never a woman sitting there. I can only say she was an earth angel getting me through.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear everything and I have no hearing in my left ear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No This near death experience I did not pass through a tunnel. I just ascended. But thirty years prior I did have a near death experience and passed through the tunnel in an upward motion.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My mother who passed almost four years earlier.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Can't describe unearthly in words.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in the higher realms of Heaven.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? When I crossed the veil? Elation, love, safety, nurturing, peace. I was home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood I probably brought on the aneurysm myself due to stress. I also understood I had to return to earth. Very sad.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes It was like a huge cathedral and I knew I had to stay there and watch my operation with my mother. She was sitting on a settee dressed in a beautiful off white gauze skirt and over-blouse.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I have been a Spiritualist for many years. Raised Catholic.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Belief in Infinite Spirit - GOD is Infinite Spirit

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The deep sorrow emanating from my mother who was with me the whole time was incredible - but I know she was sad because she knew I had to return and go through a lengthy recovery. She looked beautiful, communication was mind to mind.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Money is important here, yes, but money always comes in the most surprising way. And yes we can have all our needs met by God and the Universe.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin My mother was there waiting for me. There were four highly evolved Healers there guiding my operation.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Jesus, Moses, & Archangel Mich'l could have been there - I sensed their presence.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes Only God could have sent those highest of healers to my side and assist the doctors who were operating on me.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew the magnificent healers, there were four, were not to be reckoned with! They were there to help the doctors keep me alive only.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes That I was to return to complete my job here on earth. This was a bit of a wake-up call for me. I'm still not sure what that is exactly.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I am a working Medium or Spirit Communicator and have been all my life. So I knew there was life after the changed called death.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Do not worry or fear while on the earth plane - we are never alone.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain There was more palpable love there than I've felt in my whole life...

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I was angry to have to come back. I became severely depressed until recently when I found a group that is singing my song.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Everyday life seems pretty unimportant compared to what lies ahead for each and every one of us. I just want my children to learn this lesson. Those that don't believe, don't want either to listen, or ask questions have been cut out of my life by God or the Universe. I'm not sure which.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I don't even have to close my eyes to remember what was going on in the cathedral-like hospital as I watched over my body.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My psychic abilities have increased tremendously. I also have to be cautious not to blow out light bulbs.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not having to worry is very meaningful. I have more faith now that I know I am where I am supposed to be.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I got out of the hospital two weeks later, I told my two children separately what happened. They were so happy to hear their beloved grandmother was with me the whole time. I also told other people and quickly got the feeling they weren't totally listening. I have to remember not to blame them for that.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I experienced a near death experience thirty years prior. My great-grandmother met me and sent me back to take care of my newborn daughter. This near death experience was higher, if you understand, than the first.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real, more real than earthly experiences. It was what I always knew.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I completely recovered, although my body is misshaped. Each day when I wake up I am reminded that I am grateful for the experience and my life.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I try to remember that I can go back there whenever I want and take hold of the love and bring it to the earth, piece by piece.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I was fully aware of my surroundings. The robes and headdresses of the healers were deep purples, greens, and reds. The likes of which we don't have here. There were four of them. One had a very dark complexion, one was light complexioned, and the other two were a very swarthy light brown. When I spoke with my surgeon, he verified there were seven doctors on his team, five male and two females. He was pretty surprised but he said he knew they had God on his side. He is a Vietnam refugee who came to the United States at the age of four.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Good questions!