I was laying in my bed and I had a catheter, a feeding tube, a drainage tube, oxygen, and talking with my roommate. I felt the flush from my catheter and I knew I was bleeding out. I looked at the roommate and then turned my head towards the door, my mother was walking in and I was experiencing blackness from the outer edges of my eyes. I tried to scream but nothing, no sound came out. My mother walked up to the bed and slapped my face saying, 'It's about time you woke up.' My roommate started yelling and saying there was blood running off the side of the bed on her side. I then heard code blue to my room. I felt the black haired nurse's hair brush my face and I smelled her clean hair and I knew she was in a panic to get an IV started. I wanted to say something but then I astral projected to the ceiling and watched as the crash cart came barreling into the room. The doctor came in yelling orders and yelling at me to not die on him he had spent too much time on me so I could live and don't quit on him NOW!
I then went through the tunnel of black void and into the light. As I emerged into the light, I felt sunshine warmth and smelled the earth, the grasses and flowers. I came through the tunnel and standing at the edge, I saw a large green meadow and tall grasses and a body of water. On the other side stood a male being in a white gown and a black and white long haired dog. I do not know how I got across the water but I went to them and they led me to a very, very tall golden knobbed door. As I went to put my hand on the door a being said something to me and in my mind, I started to think of my three small children. The next thing I felt was a swish and I was in total darkness.
The nurse who stayed with me for three days in the unit said that I held a conversation with someone or maybe more than one and I asked them a lot of questions. NO ONE would ever let me read the nurses notes nor would the male nurse tell me what I said. I saw him a year later and he was telling the people at his table that I had been confessing some wrongs I had done and they were pretty funny and he told them some things I had said. What he told them was true. When I again questioned him, he just laughed and I left very upset and ashamed.
In 1998, I had heart failure on the operating table, it was during my fifteenth surgery that year and I do not remember anything from that time of being in a void.
Date NDE Occurred: 1982
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . Hemorrhage from kidneys.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Upon the being saying something to me and I thought of my three kids and everything went black.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A tunnel of pitch darkness but I was not afraid just wanted to hurry to get to the beyond because I could feel the warmth and love.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The male and the dog.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No Like daylight but very warm and loving, with a lot of peacefulness, I had been in it before from another's death as I was cleaning them up for the morgue and I knew what it was I was going towards.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm the meadow , the tall doors
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm and acceptance.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes The higher power whoever you believe it to be is your truth, religion is a structure not a spiritual belief. It's inside yourself. You do not need lessons or sermons on how to correctly be accepted into the Kingdom. All that you need is being willing to believe in a higher power, live within the realm of higher awareness, hurt no one, judge no one and forgive yourself.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Reiki energy healer, medicine woman'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes The higher power whoever you believe it to be is your truth, religion is a structure not a spiritual belief. It's inside yourself. You do not need lessons or sermons on how to correctly be accepted into the Kingdom. All that you need is being willing to believe in a higher power, live within the realm of higher awareness, hurt no one, judge no one and forgive yourself.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told I had more to do one the earth.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My children think I am weird and I have no significant other in my life.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Permission to use my gifted abilities I had been afraid to admit to - because of my mother's religious beliefs of being of Satan origins.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing I was not going to hell as my mother kept saying I was.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right away.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No Yes I worked daily with the death and dying and I loved it. I knew the good passing on and the cold death. I had walked in the LIGHT at another person's death as I was cleaning them up for the morgue.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was upset to think that even God did not want me. My mother had made this comment to me while I was just coming out of the three days of void and it stuck in my mind. I had several years after that where I felt even God did not want me - then Reiki found me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I am now a energy healer working on a teaching Masters and a Medicine Woman working on a PhD in Herbals.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I did a Reiki session with a Master - no medications or substances.