I was in a rollover accident on a busy major highway, on my way home from a two day shopping trip. Traveling with my dog, after the car had rolled and was upside down, I screamed and panicked for my dog's safety. Not knowing that I had been injured, I heard my dog climb over broken glass and run out onto the highway.
As the paramedics worked on me, I kept pleading for someone to find my dog. I did not care what happened to me, I just knew if they let me up, I could call him back, and then I would go to the hospital if they wanted. But all I could think of was - let me up to find my dog. Of course, they ignored my pleas, and at that time, I had no idea I was so near death. Loading me into the ambulance I then knew my chances of getting up to get my dog were now gone. My heart was in a frenzied panic. Above me were the can lights of the truck. I remember looking up and out of the clear blue I found myself pleading to God, for he had made my dog, if he was out there, he was the only thing that could make circumstances that would keep my dog safe until someone could find him.
With great suddenness, the light from that can light came down over my face, into my face and down the length of my body. As it traveled, it became feeling - and that feeling was one of peace. As it traveled the length of my body it pushed the panic ahead of it, and that panic exited the bottoms of my feet. It traveled the few feet between the gurney and the back of the truck. I saw that the back truck door was open about three inches and all of that feeling left, went out into the soft blueness of the sky that I could see on the other side of the door. If by cue, as soon as that feeling left the opening of the door, I heard it close and click shut. Someone on the outside was pounding as they do to let the driver know he is clear to go. In that very instant I knew that all was well, my dog, myself, everything. Something in my head told me to just observe and relax, I was being taken care of, and all was good.
I was not thinking religious thoughts or praying. The moments were going by too fast for me to collect my thoughts enough to do anything like that. I was able to speak and give information to paramedics and doctors when at the hospital. I must have been fading in and out of consciousness. I saw faces come and go over me but I wondered why the hurry, I knew that everything was going to be okay, didn't they?
While in the intensive care unit, I was told I would be put to sleep for a time, as I was bleeding into my lungs. I agreed to this and remember nothing from that point on, as to what went on in that room.
At what time I do not know, but I opened my eyes (or what I thought were the opening of my eyes) I thought that I was still in the room I had been brought to. Instead, I was surprised to see myself encompassed within a beautiful yellow gold light - very intense and very soothing. My first thought was how did they do that in this hospital room? Is this some type of new way to comfort patients? The edges of the gold were tinged with a beautiful orange glow and I have no idea how long I bathed within that color, but I was what I would call conscious of my thoughts at this time. I could look 360 degrees in all directions and this is when I realized that even though I was totally aware, I did not have a body, yet this did not feel strange to me. At some point, I was pulled into many colors, each getting more vivid or intense and colors changing colors from within.
Sounds were heard too and I knew somehow that this was music. But both colors and music were far different from anything experienced in my lifetime. The colors were 3-D as well as the sounds, and there was by far a greater magnitude to the range of colors and notes than we experience in this realm. It was totally amazing and even though I was awed by what I was being shown, it still seemed so very normal and my heart drifted into the most overwhelming peace I have ever known. Sometimes the colors moved very quickly, other times I was able to feel them and feel them passing through my soul. I felt what each color had to offer, this is very hard to explain but I guess I would say that basically as each color flowed over me, or through me, I became one with that color. Again, the notes of music and range of colors were far greater than what we use in our daily realm of existence here. At one point I did have a conscious thought about the color white, where was it? It was not found within this spectrum I was a part of. Somehow, without words it was made known to me that it was not mine to see at that point. but I was allowed to 'feel' where it was, and I could tell it was directly above the colors and went out to each side as far as forever and as high as forever, hard to explain.
When I would seem to get a conscious thought about things, it was as if a soft gentle hand, like that of a loving parent, would stoke the left side of my soul, and somehow whisper to me, to just let go and 'be' that was the only thing I was to do. For the first time in my entire life, I experienced what that was like - to just 'be'. I am still in awe of its profoundness and simplicity at the same time. Once that seemed to happen a layer of understanding came into my soul and it was as if I could see and understand what it was like to be the infinite, yet self at same time. But there was no 'time' - all just 'was'. I could have been there for a few hours, I could have been there a thousand years, it would have been the same feeling, and time did not seem to exist.
The colors got more intense and more detailed, turning into patterns and textures and weaving of both color and sound. While I knew that this was not of our world, it all seemed natural and without need for explanation. At some point, I understood the essence of creativity and was given the 'joy stick' of my own imagination so to speak, to create my own visions. It was amazing; whatever I thought became vision, and swirled around me in its own reality. I realized my unlimited potential as a human, I realized the unlimited ability to feel love, and I knew that I was being held in that 'love' and I knew that this was the forever-ness of that love.
I knew what it was like to LOVE the way that God loves, and when that happened my 'heart' opened and I could feel my soul touching that of the unseen creator, I knew that 'God' does exist and we are a part of it all.
At such time, that I first started to come back to consciousness I fought with my mind to go back, I did not want to return to this reality. But it was almost like a door shutting and I was back in my own body, my eyes open and my family trying to bring me around. When I remembered that, I had a family I was shocked, as I had no thought of them while in my coma. I somehow knew it was not mine to think of anything but what was my state of being-ness. It was awhile before I could tell my family, without feeling guilty, for not having thought about them, since I did feel I was capable to having had those type of thoughts while in my coma.
My experience did not stop when I woke up. Somehow knowing I had been with God, I seemed to take on the role of passive observer of my life before me, and at one point when alone in my hospital room I turned my head and without warning I saw my whole life in vision on the hospital wall. It was not just my life but that of my parents, my friends, my family, I saw so many things long forgotten and how they all weave together. It was hard to grasp as it was all happening so very quickly, yet I saw it with an understanding as to what was being shown. With great speed it happened and all of a sudden the visions became feeling and it was as if they rushed from the wall and were drawn directly into my chest. I knew, at that moment, my life was exactly where it was supposed to be and all was well. I felt great peace and happiness.
The doctors were amazed at my recovery; I was told that they had never had a patient in their trauma unit with lungs as severely damaged as mine that lived. I was told that I would be in the hospital for a few months and it turned out I was only there eighteen days. I knew I would heal rapidly; it was just a fact to me, as I knew I had not been truly injured.
Yet my experience did not stop with just the hospital stay. A few days after coming home, I was at one point early in the evening overcome with a great desire to sleep. Going into my room I barely made it to the bed and had fallen across it sideways and into a deep type of sleep. All of a sudden, I awoke to see everything around me become a very deep sapphire - indigo blue. I was in a hospital room and there was a nurse taking care of me. I could not 'see' her, as she was the same color as everything else, yet I knew she was there. I was told that they had one more procedure to perform on me. For a moment I was scared, as I knew that I was no longer in the hospital, so how did I get back here? The next instant I was on an operating table. The table was soft and covered in white sheets; I could not see this but knew this to be so. I looked down my body and knew that there were many people in the room, but they weren't people, they were caretakers or doctors of some sort. They too were the color of this deep blue, their scrubs, their bodies as well. In fact the room, though it felt very small, I knew expanded to infinity in all directions with this deep, deep blue. A voice came next to the left side of my face and though no words were spoken, imparted to me these words: 'This is for you; this is our gift to you. This is the you that you were always meant to be.' I got scared, what were they going to do? I looked down at the 'doctors', and though I could not see them, knew that they were looking up. I too looked up and out of the dark blueness and unseen light that was above the blueness around us, came this soft wisp of what I thought was smoke. Very long tendrils of smoke, almost like the steam that rises from a hot cup of coffee, but this was descending downwards. Down and down we watched it float; at one point, it appeared to be about twelve feet long. It descended over my chest and as I watched, this delicate wisp of grey swirls was absorbed into my body between by breasts. I could feel it enter and an un-named peace settled over me. I looked down the bed and saw the 'doctors' parting at the foot of the bed. Through them came a very soft invisible liquid that was the same color as all else, that deep, deep midnight blue. As it entered the souls of my feet, it started turning into the most beautiful aqua blue I had ever seen, glowing from within. The edges became this glowing aqua blue and as I watched the center filled with an amazing white light - the same type of white light I had known was above the colors I had felt in my coma. The light became liquid. All of this came up through the soles of my feet and started filling my body. I felt the warmth and love as it came up my legs. Soon it was inside my entire chest cavity and I lay back looking at the ceiling and just feeling what all this was like. It was as if my own arms came around me from around the bed and wrapped themselves around me. I was overcome with the most intense emotion I had ever know. I was loving myself.
I awoke in a sitting position tears covered my T-shirt. There was another dream after that as well where I was given a chance to see what the essence of humanity looked like it its raw form, when hatred rules the soul, but I am not comfortable finishing that part off. It was shown to me for purpose of comparison, but I am not led to dwell on it.
The experience in total has changed the very fiber of my being. Again I was not out looking for this, it just happened, and as far as I am concerned I did die, and a new me has taken place.
P.S. The dog is fine and back with me.
Date NDE Occurred: Nov. 18 2008
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
Car accident, contused lungs and on life support.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment I realized the magnitude of LOVE in which I was being held.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Explained in story above.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Explained in story above.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Not in my coma, but in my home experience as described above.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Explained in story above.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was as if I understood what the essence of the univesrese of being is.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? See story above.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control See above.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain There was no religion to the experience, it just was, and God just is.
What is your religion now? Moderate no religion just an ongoing spiritual journey with God
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain There was no religion to the experience, it just was, and God just is.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Whatever I was to feel at that time, know and understand, I also knew could not be taken back to this realm, as it is not understandable by our terms and knowledge here.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have an inkling of how to love as I am being loved; I am giving over to this and learning with each new day.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience was totally beyond words. There are no words in this world to give complete understanding to what lies beyond our understanding. Yet it is understandable when there.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My ability to talk with others and see their heart light. It has been amazing!
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? See above story.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My sister.
My husband is a non-believer in any sort of afterlife, of type of God, he was ready to have me speak with doctors, and he thought I had gone off the deep end.
I now know who I can speak with or not as soon as I am near someone, concerning this, it has been interesting to watch this unfold.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Not any real knowledge so to speak, just the acceptance that it was not out of the realm of impossibility as far as I was concerned.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real That is all a part of story above.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Nothing has changed in my views on whether it was real or not. To me it was real and the essence of it all grows stronger with each day, I must let go to get it. The more I try to hang on the experience it fades, the more I let go, the more it floods my being.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Opening my heart to the experiences before me, and brief glimpses of that realm return.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was the best thing that ever happened to me.