I found myself in a dark void. The next thing I noticed was that there was no sense of anything; it was like I was just a naked mind. I missed the feel and sound of a heartbeat, and the familiar feel and sound of a regular breath. There was nothing. There were no sensations at all. That's when someone called out to me. It was not a sound, it was like a sound but it was more as if I felt it in my mind just like it bypassed my ears and went straight to my brain. He sounded very much like I should know him. What he said was most unusual. I realized I had just died. That is a traumatic occasion. I find myself with no sensation in a black void, and someone calls out to me. How did I know it was to me? I don't know, but I knew it was to me. He said, 'Are you back, already?' That was when I saw the light. It was a bright, round, blue white some distance away. It felt right, to me, that he was there, in the light. I wanted to see whom it was that had called out to me, and it seemed because I wanted to see who was there. The light started to look like it was closer. I have no idea if I moved to the light or the light moved toward me, all I know is the light got larger until I was in it.
Descriptions of what I saw and heard are very difficult, because we haven't invented the words. We have not invented the words because this is outside our experience. My best attempt at a description would be it looked as if it was somewhere in space. But when I saw my friend with his friends, now that was never in any picture I have ever seen. He appeared to me as a blue-white sphere of light, and he was with a group of other spheres. Their color of light ranged from a bright slightly pinkish color to my friend's blue-white light. I spoke, before I thought if I could. I asked him, 'Are YOU GOD?' He laughed for a while, and he had a very good laugh, it made you feel the humor, it made you feel happy inside, it made you smile. He was a long way away. Long as across a galaxy, or whatever looked like a galaxy. It did look like pictures I have since seen taken from the Hubble telescope. Distance seemed to have little effect on our communication. I could see and hear him as if he were next to me. When he stopped laughing he said to me,' No, I am Not, and they don't like to be called that. They are the shepherd. They are the shepherd because that is what they do, they guide and protect.' My friend and I talked for a while. He told me some things, he showed me some others, but all too soon, I was back in the dark void. This time it was different because there was someone there with me.
This is very difficult to describe, and I know I will never, nor can ever describe what I felt from this entity, or this person, or this whatever this was. I felt power, immense power. I did not know power had a feeling, but this felt like all the power anyone could imagine times a billion. But there was not just a feeling of power there was an equal feeling of love. Let there be no questions. Anyone would do anything; happily do anything for this entity, whatever it is. The feeling of power and love was so strong it almost seemed solid. I could not see who it was or what they looked like. It was like my sight was blocked. I was just stunned. It was a while before I noticed there were others there. These others I could see and talk to.
Judgment seems too harsh a word I would like more to call it an evaluation of my life and me. The others did that. They would be there throughout my life, and it did seem to me that I did live my life, again. I never thought that what you think and feel is more important than what you say and do. Each of the others would stop my life and show me when some important event happened, then they reported that to that powerful, dark, loving Presence. Respect you feel for others, forgiveness of others and others of you, moments of realizations of what others do for you, first love and all feelings involved, moments of personal growth and development these are what I was evaluated on, but then, I was only twelve. I did not see or hear anything from that presence until the evaluation was over and the others grew still and quiet. Then he spoke, he spoke to me. This is what he said, 'You may not pass on from this. You must go back and live out your life. You must live your life for three reasons. The first is that you are meant to do something that you have not, yet, done. The second is you are meant to influence someone you have not, yet, met. The third is you have not learned enough, yet to accomplish the other two.' That was it. With his last words, I felt myself fading out as I assumed I was in a transition back to my life, but as this was happening, he said one last thing to me. He said, 'Tell no one of what you have learned here in this place on this day. It is not, yet time,' I was back in my body. My hands flew away from the pipe and I fell down, but I didn't care at the time.
Forty-two years later, I felt that presence again. I will never forget that feeling. This time he said, 'Now is the time to tell your story, tell your story now.' There has been a third time I have encountered that presence. Each time my sight was blocked, so I have no idea who it is.
Date NDE Occurred: June 1963
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other I was alone setting up an irrigation system in rural Deaf Smith county
I was setting up an irrigation system when a stupid squirrel ran into a section of pipe. I tried to get it out. I carried it over to the shop, which is under the electric high line wires. I held the pipe up and hit it against the side of the trailer. It started vibrating. I knew something was wrong when it didn't stop. I tried to let go, but everything faded out before I could move.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the way through except during the transitions.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Space and time do not matter, or they are variable.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is the same as I have said earlier. It is like I have eyes, but I cannot see. I have ears, but I do not hear. After coming back I had trouble and frustrations with the lack of senses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no ears. It must be that thoughts were communicated not sounds.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I found myself in a dark void. When someone called out to me I could see a light in the distance, it seemed as if I were passing through a tunnel, but after reflection, I have another thought on this. When we pass through from a dark place into a very light place, our eyes are flooded with light. That is how our physical eyes work, but it could be that our true eyes act differently. Think of this - what if our true eyes act differently? What if they only let a little light in at first then let more in as they open? It would appear as if we are moving through a tunnel toward a light when the light may be around us all the time and we just cannot see it until someone opens our eyes for us - when it is time.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes All I wish to tell is above.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I entered the light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I did the best I could to describe it. I believe in our natural form the universe is our home
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, exhilaration, apprehension, awed speechless, I felt love, and I felt loved, companionship, care, cared for, I did not want to come back, but I felt acceptance.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Our thoughts and feelings are as important as our actions. There are no secrets; nothing is hidden. Live life as if all will be observed.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Future events will only begin in my lifetime, more will come after.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate None
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I will share.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes We are all in this together. We are all connected. There are no us and them, it is all us. Every one of us.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to interpret. I could see and hear, after a bit, but I did not have a body. Someone called out to me when I was in an utterly dark void. It was then I could see the light. I moved into the light to see who called out to me. How could I say I moved? I moved into the light because I wanted to see who had called out to me. We spoke, but not with our mouths. When he called out to me, he opened my ears that were not my ears, but acted as they were. When he called to me, it seemed he opened my eyes, but some other eyes, because I could, then, see the light. To try to explain a non-physical experience with only a physical experience I find there are no words to properly describe what I saw, who I met, what I heard, what he showed me, nor who it was I met next.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I can explain, if you are interested.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Forty-two years before I told a soul. Reactions were about to be expected. One may have been influenced.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I wanted to go back there.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I will explain, if you are interested. This is not over.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is much more, are you interested?