I remember at the gas station where I was shot looking down and seeing my internal organs lying in the ground and knowing that death was soon upon me before I passed out. I remember asking for grace and peace in this moment. Then I passed out. I next remember going to a place that was not far away and being surrounded by an aura and general pain free existence. I was also having like fleeting thoughts of my children's lives and my life and the good and bad that I went through. It was all so fast and so colorful, but like faded and had a haze to it. Then I remember that I was trying to pull these thoughts into place and make sense of what I was seeing. The haze started to clear. Then I could see my daughters and their faces plain and in front of me - I was trying to reach them and I couldn't. As this became so hard I remember, waking in the helicopter and seeing the trauma nurse and then the pain was unbearable.Then in surgery, I can remember going out from the drugs, and I was like dreaming and living in a place that was clearly not from earth. I was looking down at myself in the hospital I think but not sure - all I know is that as nice as this felt, I had the need to get back to this body and what was going on. It was like a struggle because I had this wonderful sensation knowing that this was a definite good warm place and that I had been forgiven. Yet the desire to get back was overwhelming and I tried to cry out and nothing would come out, not a sound. I kept yelling and saying I wanted to come home and there was nothing, no sound to be heard anywhere, just total peace and tranquility and warmth. At this point, there were no fleeting thoughts of family and friends because I knew that I was dead or dying - but still the urge to move back into my body was strong and the desire to live was phenomenal. Finally the total picture was gone, everything, and somewhere in there I was back and woke up in recovery.
Date NDE Occurred: 3-10-2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Surgery-relatedCriminal attack Other 'shot in an altercation twice and lost my kidney and 40% of my intestines, life flighted to hospital and while in Trauma Hawk I crashed and was revived, then while in emergency surgery I was revived on three occasions.'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Not sure but it seems as if as soon as I passed out I was immediately taken to this place and this freedom, tranquility and peace.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Not as clear but vivid in colors but hazed over.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Not many more like a peace and understanding of what was happening.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control No I didn't learn anything but I found a sense of purpose and need to push myself in a new direction in my journey in life.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I can see people in places far off and feel even special things while out on dates and around others. I don't offer these visions to them because of being like weird but they happen quite often.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Because I was out of my body, total peace and willing to surrender, but at the same time I wanted back to be able to be with my family and friends. But there was not like fear or dread, but rather a tranquility and satisfaction that I was going to die and that even if I did not regain my body I was able to pass.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes For some reason now I can see in a person walking by their emotions or maybe like family strife and such, not always but in special times. I am also in touch with people who live far away in other countries and at times I can see their face and their emotions and issues.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes In a friendship with a person in Guatemala. I can see things she is doing and I will tell her to like stop touching her hair, or looking at the ceiling. Once I saw her in the refrigerator and called to tell her to stay out kidding around and at first she was scared but as we continue the experience is normal.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real While in the hospital they had a shrink come in because of the trauma from the shooting and I tried to explain what I seen and how I felt and he tried and tried to tell me that is was my sub-conscious leading me to this feeling. But I am convinced that I seen all of this and was there and witnessed it immediately after I was awake.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real At first, I started to think like the shrink after getting out. I tried to downplay the entire set of events, but as I started to see these other things like people's emotions I don't know and then seeing people in other parts of the world I never was able to do this before it convinced me that something took place.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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