Before I had become unconscious, my boyfriend at the time had just got home and he came in the bathroom to let me know he was home. After he left, I had started to feel disoriented and dizzy. I couldn't remember if my boyfriend was really home or not.
I fell straight down in the shower and I hit my head on the side and on the back of my head. It felt surreal at first. I had seen myself in the shower, my boyfriend turned off the shower, and he was panicked and scared. He kept calling my name and he tried to revive me.
While he was doing all this, I had watched him and I thought 'I'm dying.' I looked up and felt so warm and I had felt so loved. I don't know how long I was unconscious but I know I didn't want to come back. When I did come back, it was because my boyfriend was crying and yelling that it wasn't my time to go. He told me he loved me and to come back. I felt his sadness and his fear. When I came back, I cried not because I could finally breathe but because I came back.
I was mad at my boyfriend for a while. I couldn't sit up on my own and it took a while for me to be able to stand. My legs were so weak and I just cried.
It was the second time I had felt that.
The first time was with another guy I dated briefly. He had this fatal attraction thing and he had choked me until I passed out. When I felt and heard my heart slow down, the last thing I thought was a prayer - that my sister and her daughter and my two daughters will be safe. He had tried reviving me while I watched him. I went to my sister and the kids and came back. I saw him doing CPR and all I thought was that's gonna hurt when I breathe again.
When I did breathe, I had choked and I had ran to my sister's house. I told her about the evening and she was surprised. I used to be so afraid to die. With each time, I had a taste of heaven here on earth and the second time I didn't want to come back because the feeling of love, peace, home - it felt so amazing and I wanted to stay wherever that was. I cried because that feeling doesn't happen here. To have 'home' so close was something that stays with you. When it's time for me to go, I look forward to going home.
Even when I had lost family in the last few years, I have no remorse. I know that my dad and brother are home and they are at peace and surrounded with love.
In that place 'heaven on earth', tears have no place or sadness or worry - and to have come back was sad. To know that here on earth that unconditional love is rare and hard to come by.
But knowing that it is out there in the world, it gave me hope that I had lost and I have no worries or concerns of anything here on earth.
Loving my family and doing all I can to make my life full of all I can be has not been difficult.
Thank you for letting me share.
Date NDE Occurred: approximately JUNE 2001
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Other 'FAINTED, BUMPED MY HEAD, WHILE IN SHOWER. BOYFRIEND HAD FUND ME IN SHOWER - UNCONSCIOUS & NOT BREATHING'
Unconscious in my shower. Couldn't breathe.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was when I realized that I was looking at me not breathing, and I didn't feel afraid I felt home all around me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Each time I had felt air come into my lungs and it hurt a lot the first time and the second time tears fell before I breathed and opened my eyes. It was such a regret to leave. Each time was panic I had heard and felt in the voice of the two guys that was there. Their urgency and panic forced me back. I would've stayed.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was more aware of everything around me. I tease my daughters that I have ultra-sonic hearing - mostly I can hear the whispers clearer than normal speech.
I had worked as a customer service representative and I had had lost forty percent in my right ear and thirty percent in my left ear due to the earphone I used at work. This was six months prior to the first time.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy. Love. Amazing love. Amazing peace. Calm. Home.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future When my dad and brother had passed away, I had felt the brooding death. The only thing was I didn't know whom death was wanting. I sent my girls away to their dad. When I had my girls come home was after I knew that my father and brother had died.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate CHRISTIAN
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Looking forward to going home. To be with Jesus, God and be surrounded with love and peace.
What is your religion now? Moderate CHRISTIAN
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Looking forward to going home. To be with Jesus, God and be surrounded with love and peace.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes What I learnt was that every second counts. All your decisions and choices matter. Living to live at your best really does matter.
Time didn't exist where I had gone. Time was elusive. Time here on this plane is evident. I had let go of fears and phobias because that was not going to help in this life. To move forward I had stopped looking at my past. I have felt freedom from everything I had spent my life worrying about.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have been single since the second experience.
I want to be with someone that 'knows' that life isn't a game or toy.
I can take better care of my loved ones and be able to establish boundaries. I can talk to people and discern those that will cause harm and negative and those that want to be happy on purpose.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was mostly difficult to find words to express how everything had felt. It was beyond amazing, peaceful, love and more.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can empathize with people around me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The second time. I didn't want to come back. Even though I have ten brothers and seven sisters. Eighteen nieces and nephews. My mom. My two daughters. All those that knew and loved me. I knew they would all be okay. I had let them all go and I just wanted to stay. I cried before I opened my eyes. My boyfriend was holding me, happy and relieved I was alive. All I felt was sad that I came back. I asked him why he kept calling me. He told me that it wasn't my time to go yet.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I talked to my older sisters and mother. It was one week after each event. What we talked about was the ability to accept all we had felt and seen as 'normal'. It happened for us to know something. What that is we will know when the time comes.
We had shared our experience and it felt so good to know that someone else knew how everything had felt and knowing that the only word to use was home.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was allowed to see this world and I was allowed to feel the world that was/is more than I ever thought to be. I was home for what seemed like seconds and when I came back all I was told was I wasn't breathing. I felt the panic and chaos of those around me and I missed the love and peace of where I was - home.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Life is ever-lasting. On this plane, we feel everything and notice only the negative. And 'home' we can feel only love and peace.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I'm epileptic and this past month I have had multiple seizures. And this had made my memories of these events even more vivid.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Nope.