Experience Description

I have asthma, or more like damaged lungs due to too much jet exhaust, jet fuel (working in aircraft fuel tanks) and a bout of pneumonia at least once a year that requires hospitalization, and lots of scar tissue in my lungs. I have an overactive immune system.

I had been having difficulty breathing as usual, chest tightening, breaths getting less volume and not being able to suck in much air. I call 911 frequently and have to be given shots of steroids at hospital.

I get a little stupid when my oxygen levels get low and I can't make a decision to call 911 or drive myself to the hospital. So all of a sudden I can't breathe, like I really can't breathe, my lungs stopped working. I was thinking I can't speak and it's only a matter of time before I pass out, which I did. My kid is used to the drill. I made a hand gesture like phone to the ear and my kid called 911. As she was on the phone, I passed out. At first before losing consciousness I fell to the floor and your body tries to get up but your mind says to you 'This is it and your head is okay with it'. I was all okay with dying and very peaceful, no fear. Like relief like pure love and contentment.

I was enveloped in darkness, like all dark, cave dark, and I was still me but in an empty space all dark and I started to fall through a bazillion million miles of dark to this light that was a spark, the amount of energy it takes to create a thought. A miniscule amount of energy the light of a synapse, the light created from the electrical impulse of your thought. When I hit this light, I was shot backwards and from this energy source, the universe was created right in front of my eyes. I saw everything that has ever happened since the beginning of the Big Bang. Like the discovery channel. I saw everything, the whole universe from the beginning of time. And time is something humans made up, there is no such thing as time this is all a series of events. It was like a big paisley of cosmos being formed in front of me and I had superman vision. (I told a friend what I saw and he turned me on to fractals it looked like that.) I was hanging in the dark space and our universe was below me like a teacup saucer inside of a thirty-three gallon trash bag. I was in the bag still. I was beyond the far reaches of the universe. Beyond the universe looking at it with superman vision and I could see earth and my house and inside it and all from a bazillion, gazillion, light years past the edge of the universe. It was really amazing.

Then of in the distance out of the blackness to my right I see a man and he slid up right up to my face, he moved like Dracula in Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' movie - just boom, he's in my face. He didn't walk bouncy he slid. He was the most beautiful being I ever saw. I was enveloped in pure love, a feeling that I cannot describe, pure love and peace and wellbeing, safety. A glowing love like no other that I can't describe how wonderful it was. He was the big cheese. That is what I call him now. It was GOD. There is a GOD. a supreme being, the one. He had long white hair past his shoulders wavy the color of that fiberglass stuff in furnace filters. It looked softer than anything I ever saw he had a beard long wavy soft white to his boob area. His skin was a golden bronze color almost metal like. Polished old brass he was a perfect being, he was so pretty. He was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. He was wearing a kaftan with bell sleeves and gold embroidery around the collar sleeves and hem with a Nuru collar. I sew. It was like a rayon thin silky flowing, you could tell he was buff under it. I was in pure love but not sexual. His eyes were not of a color that is here on earth. The color was not in our human rainbow. When I looked into his eyes all the secrets of the universe were revealed to me. I know how everything works because I looked into his eyes for a moment. I knew all the secrets of the universe, all knowledge of all time, and everything. He said to me 'Do you know who I am?' I knew he was God the moment I looked into his eyes. I said 'yes', I was so ashamed and so unworthy, and I felt just ashamed, but loved like no other. I felt loved. I was so happy to be there. I looked down at his feet and I wanted to just lay at his feet and hold onto his leg like a baby. He has perfect feet. He said 'You have three missions then you can die.'

Then out of nowhere slide in my face these two beings I call them. Beautiful beings wearing similar outfits are in my face. One had blonde wavy hair, it just past the shoulders, it was masculine, and the other feminine one had a wavy pageboy shorter the same color and they were bronze color a little less pretty than GOD, and they had eyes the color of coffee and cream - A soft beige color. They both grabbed me from either side of my body like a hug and said 'Don't worry we'll be with you.' They flew me backwards through the universe at supersonic speed and when we got close to earth, they disappeared but I could still feel them holding me. They follow me around on each side of me behind me. Still to this day, they are here. I can't see them but I feel them behind me. One likes me a lot, the masculine one the other female is like in training or something she doesn't really want to be here. So I'm flown back to earth and I am now on the planet going down highway 18 in the air above the ambulance. Then I am on the ceiling inside and they dropped me back into my body. Like someone dropping you on your back from about three feet off the ground. I open my eyes. I have a tube up my nose down into my chest and a rubber balloon in my face with a guy squeezing the bag and he is breathing for me by squeezing the bag. I grabbed his hand and his eyes got really big. I puked all over the paramedic on the other side of the gurney because the guy squeezing the bag turned my head as I started to puke. I felt perfectly fine except my lungs were not working. This man had my life in his hands, literally. When we got to the hospital, they gave me a shot but people were taking turns squeezing the bag coming out of my nose. Then by body started to breathe on its own and they had to get the tube out. Then I puked again, and again.

I was not breathing for about fifteen minutes. A neighbor with a scanner came over when she heard it and freaked out I guess crying and all. The sheriff got to my house and one guy says 'Shit what do we do?' The other sheriff says, 'Wait till the FD gets here' and told my neighbor and my kid to go outside. I was purple with black lips and a grey body and cold flesh. They thought I was dead. The Fire Department called my parents and told them I was more than likely dead and they should get to the hospital. When I got out of the hospital and saw the Fire Department guys in the market, (I live in a small town) they were in disbelief that I could even walk. They call me their miracle baby, as I should be dead.

I was pissed off at first that I was back in my messed up body, back here in this crap hole of a planet, and I was never told what my missions were. BUT I know what the future is and I am going to eventually die of a heart attack shoveling snow on November 11th. I don't shovel snow on that date but one day I will forget its November 11 and die.

Dying is the best thing that could ever happen to a person. You become perfect and all knowing and go to a way better place. I used to fear death and now I can't wait to go back. I envy old people who are ready to die. If they knew how it was, they would forego all medical procedures and check out. Dying is not really dying; you become a being of light and are born into another better plane of existence. This place is a carefree place of pure love where you can make your own reality and there is no such thing as time. When you are immortal and live forever who cares what time it is you have forever to do it.

I want to go back and feel I don't belong here.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'May 2, 2007'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Asthma Attack, respiratory failure' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Stopped breathing due to asthma I was in respiratory failure. I stopped breathing, as if someone just made my lungs stop.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time. You just leave your body. Your self comes out. The soul, the ka, the spirit. Just you no physical bullshit.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There is no such thing as time it's all a series of events.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Superman vision. The Hubble telescope is a blind man compared to it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear everything all at once and discern it all. I could hear everybody on earth all at once, with no trouble processing the info.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I was sent back they didn't let me out of the bag.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes As in my story I met the big cheese he said I had three missions and his two angel guys that are still with me as we speak.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Pinpoint. The creator's thought.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? LOVE pure LOVE.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I know all the secrets of the universe.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Really bad and I try not to think about it.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The thirty-three gallon bag holding the cosmos.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate none

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I know there is a heaven if you want to call it that.

What is your religion now? Liberal 'none, you guys here on earth haven't a clue.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know there is a heaven if you want to call it that.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Too much info to write. I'd be here the rest of my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Meat makes me gag. I can't eat the flesh of another living being. I used to love steak now the smell makes me sick.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It was very emotional to talk about it I would cry.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I seem to know what's going to happen.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole shebang. The best part was looking into God's eyes.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as they took the tube out of my nose. They all think I was hallucinating.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because I was there and I should be dead and everybody that was there can't believe I am alive and fine with no brain damage.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I was there.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was the best experience I have ever had in my life. The only thing I look forward to that could be better is when I actually get to die and leave my body behind.