I suffered a heart attack September 03, 2002 while I was on vacation. I was alone in my sister's guest room at the time. No one found me; no one revived me.
There was a point in my experience, where I had to let go of this life. I fought against dying as best I could. I knew what was happening to me; I never had anything like this happen to me before. While it was happening I didn't know what I should do. As I was losing hold on my life, I felt sorry for myself as I began to let go. I felt I was dying poorly.
A kind of darkness came over me and I experienced a grayish dark void of infinite nothingness. I had no fear at this point. I had no concept of time or relationships to time or of moments passing. It was a very unusual feeling to say the least, not what we normally experience in the everyday reality of our lives. I felt myself becoming more and more aware, self-aware. I had feelings of expanding awareness, becoming everything known, experiencing everything yet to be known. As this was happening, everything I had been taught, everything I believed in, everything I ever learned or thought throughout the course of my lifetime, fell away from me as if they never held meaning in the first place. This felt okay to me, I had no fear.
Date NDE Occurred: September 2002
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Allergic reaction 'Believed, to have been brought on from Food poisoning. (spoiled fish)' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Believed, to have been brought on from food poisoning - spoiled fish.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I had no concept of time, or even of moments passing. When I became aware of this, I seemed to realize, that the constructions I believed, were just constructions on the foundation of time related beliefs. Meaning, speed of light kinds of precepts and clock time learned behaviors. Everything was occurring at once. It disturbs me to consider my experience in comparison to accepted beliefs, whether in terms of scientific or religious.
The best answer I can give is, when I left my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Speed of light, clock time, understood as precepts or learned behaviors, fell away. Everything is occurring all at once. Right Now! My beliefs at the time changed in a profound way. But because of returning, I had to relearn them and repress the experience. I began to realize that as I tried to regain my orientation to the known and accepted. I was appearing to others to be quite the borderline personality. I had to shut up, and fly right. It's been six years now and I'm still concerned about my personal safety.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was not seeing through eyes. I was seeing in some other way not known to me presently. Yet I seemed to be having visions related to a highly detailed ability to remember. Thoughts seemed to materialize into things I could see. It seemed like sight, but felt more like memory.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is not presently known to me, how I was hearing, I conversed with three others during the experiences but it felt more like we were already aware of the sum of the conversation. The tonal qualities in words seemed secondary, more like memory.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I experienced some kind of transition, but I felt as if I were passing through some kind of membrane.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Three others, the one, informed me, they were each in various stages of human evolutionary development. They all thought my manner of death was quite funny, and joked about it to me. Saying I didn't have to die that way. In such an unpleasant, painful manner. There was more, but I don't feel comfortable saying much more than this.
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Sometimes I thought I was seeing and sometimes I thought I was remembering something I saw. I remember an experience of black nothingness and gray infinite void. I am not presently sure I was seeing at all.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The aspects of my experience did not occur in a place, it sometimes contained elements I cannot presently describe. I felt myself to be part of everything that can possibly be known while still being able to dwell within a physical body. There is other kinds of existence that doesn’t utilize a physical forms.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? While it was happening I didn't know what I should do. I knew what was happening; I was scared in a way I had never experienced before that moment. As I was losing hold of my life, I felt profoundly sorry for myself. I felt my breathing stop and I felt myself suffocate. As I began to let go, I could feel the difference in my physical body and this other part of me. This other part seemed more intelligent than I knew myself to be. Its sheath seems light and perfect, yet I could still feel the ills and abuses inflicted on my physical part. I was profoundly taken, all consumed in the events of the moment.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I exist apart from my physical body and dwell within it as well.
All have this ability. It is a stage of development in human beings.
Matter is formed through a process related to interconnectedness with aspects of a self yet to be known. There is more, I don't feel comfortable saying much more than this.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Future events will occur to a 100% certainty, if enough of the right kinds of people share in the belief of the given event. This is because certain elements of physical reality are shared by all of us. Using Newton as an example, we all believe that matter can be acted upon by other types of matter, and there by influence its direction and in turn effect the degrees of certainty. I believe now that all is possible, because it happens in the same instant, I cannot explain it very well to others at present.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes It disturbs me to consider accepted beliefs whether in terms of scientific or religious.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It disturbs me to consider accepted beliefs whether in terms of scientific or religious.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Everything is occurring all at once. Right now and in every instant.
There is no instant that occurred before or after the other.
I experienced myself as a woman, as a man and as genderless.
People create the universe they know, and some universes, they don't know.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I do not pursue relationships anymore.
I ended the ones I had.
I limit the ones to family members.
I do not leave the house anymore unless I absolutely have to.
I sometimes think to make attempts to reconcile my experience, like now.
I got myself fired from my job.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The limitations of language by itself, and the inability to form or accurately conceptualize of some of the experience when using it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I cannot explain it very well to others at present.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I had to shut up, and fly right. It's been six years now, I'm still concerned about my personal safety. I'm still trying to regain a great deal of normal orientation. I am still contending with post-traumatic stress disorder from the experience. I lost my job and most everything I own and have a lack of concern about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Everything I had been taught, everything I believed in, everything I ever learned or thought throughout the course of my lifetime, fell away from me as if they never held meaning in the first place. This felt okay to me, I had no fear.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The experience itself, the NDE, would not have been something I would have ever thought to peruse on my own. Years before the NDE I was wanting and working hard to become an electronics engineer. Today I'm all consumed by it and struggling just to get by.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Consider advances, in different kinds of technology principles.
Consider different principles for the makeup of the physical matter.
Consider different principles related to the properties of matter, and where they came from for that matter. (The Principles).
Consider different principles to the origins and properties of God.
What are angels and devils?
Consider the origins and properties for creating a theology of opposites.